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A String Made of Torment

Updated on August 24, 2011

It’s funny how things appear.

In the beginning I say to myself this is going to be a good year.

But it never fails, I fall into a hole that I can’t seem to pull myself out.

It always happens without a doubt.

I reek of anxiety.

I am so ashamed to have someone stand beside me.

They may smell the stench of my rotted emotions.

As I begin to drown in my manifested oceans.

I am unable to run and hide.

Only in myself I can confide.

I am the only one that understands how I feel.

When my emotions take over, they are the only ones that can make or break the deal.

They have me hanging on by a string.

A string made of torment that they always bring.

My meds are my life jacket that keeps me afloat

But when they stop working I sink like a boat.

Maybe someday I will be aligned right.

Until then, my emotions will be an enemy that I will always be prepared to fight.

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    • profile image

      Aka Professor M 

      7 years ago

      @SassyK73: Karen,It is our "Doubt" that always carries the greatest weight, loading us with fears to bring us down at every opportunity. It sometimes seems that just to Live, is itself, an uphill battle that can appear to be never ending, my friend!

      Yet, every now and again, there are times that something unexpected happens, which can change everything in a heartbeat. It is those things and times that allow us to discover how we feel, a new approach to the way we look at others and indeed how we see ourselves.

      It is at those times that we come to realize that this Life does have a purpose and whether or not we understand it, we are here to be a part of It.

      Take you for example, Karen. You are an writer who is expressive, articulate and gifted. Your work reveals how someone, such as yourself deals with your condition.

      To that end you are a source of knowledge for others who may be suffering from the same condition and need to know that they have a reason to continue. The Hope that they get, in reading your poems and stories, is that they too can contribute and perhaps be inspired, to do great things,with their lives, as you have for them, with your writing.

      Yes, like the others who have commented before me, above, I read the words, extract their message and realized the talent that you the author have shown in yet another deeply personal and profound literary contribution, Karen.

      Thank you for sharing your soul with all of us, my friend! God Bless you and strengthen you whenever you feel the need for It! Regards Mike (Aka Professor M!) ;D

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image

      Sharon Smith 

      7 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      You are such a fighter Sassy. As you write about your struggles, you no doubt are helping others too. Just that alone is such a gift. You are awesome!

      Sharyn

    • profile image

      ahorseback 

      7 years ago

      Sassy , remember always that people care about you , even those that dont 'Know" you. You have described this well. And That alone ,how you write ! Will help so many people to really feel what you go through , imagine how many young and older people that will read you and begin to understand your pain! AND , the help that that alone might give some young boy or girl just beginning to know the horrors you have experinced! They are the ones who need so much to understand , Good work ! You are so special in what you have to give! I [and many others I'm sure ] admire you for that!.....:-}

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