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A Turn on Your Merciless Rack

Updated on June 19, 2013

You tease, you taunt and take it back

Arrogant bastard runs on a sadistic track

Powerless to thwart your means of attack

We all get our turn on your merciless rack

============================

Your lesson is lost in the deck you stack

Moot point on a canvas that's painted black

Futile to fight the hand of the one-eyed jack

We all get our turn on your merciless rack

================================

Designed to fill the void in what we lack

Positive platitudes lay dead on the plaque

Swing my angry sword you cut no slack

We all get our turn on your merciless rack

================================

Fruitless, I try to patch the crack

My lungs want to explode, but an empty sac

Ripping the last shred you hammer my Mac

We all get our turn on your merciless rack

================================

Suffering chosen as you pin the tack

Teacher delivers the message with a smack

Devotion the pupil retracts since taken aback

We all get our turn on your merciless rack

================================

Love
Love

I love you so, MacGregor

MacGregor is my fine, Scottish Terrier, my companion. Handsome, charming, loyal and loving, he looks to me for everything and I serve him his heart's desire on a silver platter. He is quiet, reserved and dignified. We are a perfect match.

Today, I took him to his vet, as he's had a relentless bladder infection, despite multiple antibiotics, for the past month. The vet took an x-ray to try to find the source of the problem. The lovely vet, Dr. Angela Randazzo, began our talk with positively ruling out a bladder stone, which is a common occurrence. She said that was good, but she didn't look happy. At first she suggested doing a urine culture to find the bacterial culprit, but sadly, she had news she dreaded telling me. MacGregor has an aggressive form of bladder cancer. Angela went on to say we could do further testing to pinpoint the 2 centimeter tumor, as she told me it could only be removed if it was very small and located in a spot where the bladder could be sutured. She believes it is already beyond the scope of surgery. I explained to the vet that considering he is 9 years old, with an aggressive type of cancer that carries a high mortality rate despite treatment, I do not want to subject him to surgeries or chemo for naught, causing further pain in his remaining time. Angela told me she agrees with me 100% and, in this case, would do the same with her dog. She then expressed her sympathy, at which point, I could not hold back the tears any longer.

I brought MacGregor home, stressed and tired. He will take antibiotics to keep the infection under control in order to reduce inflammation and swelling (common in conjunction with cancerous tumors in limited spaces) and pain medications when he needs them. I won't let him suffer. I love him too much to allow that. I will be lost without him.


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