A Collection of Irish Jokes

This is the name of a page in a weekly Irish magazine called "Ireland's Own" There is not a website or an email address to be seen in it and the content is actually better because of this. I am a firm believer that a sense of humour is the best gift to have and it is especially important to be able to laugh at ourselves.So without further ado,here is a selection of jokes that I remember from "Ireland's Own" otherwise known as Ireland's only hope:-) and some others I have heard along the way.

Paddy and Mickey are walking down the street.Paddy falls down a hole.Mickey says "Is it dark down there Paddy?"

Paddy says:"I don't know Mickey,I can't see anything",

Mickey says to Paddy"Well Paddy,for twenty years myself and my wife were happy.Then we met."

Husband to wife"Of course I'm listening darling.Don't you see me yawning?"

John and Michael meet after twenty years.John says to Micheal "How is your wife?Michael says "She is an angel"John says "You are lucky. My wife is still alive."

A man bought land at the North Pole.He thought it was a good place to grow frozen peas.

Paddy the Irishman drank all the money he got for selling three farms. One day,he had to go to the dentist.He asked the dentist:"Can you see anything down my throat?"The dentist shook his head and Paddy said "There's three farms of land down there"

There are a few more to add here and I hope you get some value out of them because a sense of humour is different from one culture to another. I was told these were true stories.

Paddy likes his drink.He has a habit of bringing home a small bottle of whiskey from the pub for a nightcap.One night he fell and his trousers were wet when he got up.His neighbour who was walking along with him asked "Are you bleeding?"Paddy said "I hope so."

So,enough about the Irish and drink.Enough about the trials of marriage.Here are a few more which are just plain funny:-)

A man goes to the doctor about having double vision.The doctor tells him to lie on the couch. the man replies "which one?"

This one actually happened.A man goes to a successful contractor and asks for a job. the contractor says "I have very little work at the minute"The man replies"very little work will do me"

I hope these made you laugh because laughing is very good for you.You might like to read A Selection of Irish Jokes which is similar to this hub.

I will finish off with an Irish saying which translates into English like this:

"The day of the big wind is no time to be doing the thatching"

(Thatching is roofing with straw.)

May your roof never fall in and may those beneath it never fall out.Cheers!