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A poem. My heart is racing. My palms are sweating, I'm on a bridge

Updated on January 21, 2016
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I am a writer of poetry and fiction. I especially love flash fiction. My name is Ruby, and I live in Southern Illinois. I am a retired R.N.

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Do I venture across the bridge?

My heart is racing. My palms are sweating. I'm on a bridge, do I force myself to cross?

Starting in childhood, my uncontrollable fear of height

A constant fear, unrelenting fright

Unwarranted, out of control

Stance frozen, don't look below

Look straight ahead

Don't be afraid

Eyes begin to tear

Anxious, frightening fear

Hands clinched tightly on the bridge rail

Unable to move, what if I fail?

Listening closely, the current is swift

If I should fall will I be able to drift?

So many questions erupting in my brain

To attempt this again, I must be insane

I'm standing in the middle

I either walk on or retreat just a little?

Slowly I move one foot, then the other

I'm feeling faint, air too still, can't breathe, about to smother

A scream rises in my throat

Erupting thoughts again, wondering if I fall will I float?

I know I must move, do something!

I can't stand here forever and do nothing

Cautiously my hand loosens it's tightly held grip

My psyche tells me I can make it, it's only a short trip

I start to move, feet unwilling

My heart is pounding. Blood rushing, my head filling

Just when I think I can't go on

I hear a voice saying, " You can make it, here take my hand

Soon all your fear's will be gone

Unwavering, I look into her kind eye's

Trusting, forever grateful, she was so very wise

Assuring me, " tomorrow you'll go all the way

I'll be by your side, we'll only go as far as you say

Your fear of height will be a memory of the past

Because you've conquered your childhood fear

Promising it will be gone at last "

Who is this woman standing by my side?

It's my beautiful guardian angel who makes all my fears subside

She's always been with me since childhood and now

She promised she'd forever be with me

That's when we exchanged our sacred vow.




























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    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 16 months ago from Olympia, WA

      A lovely message of hope and faith, Ruby. As for a fear of heights....I never had one until I was about forty-five and then I noticed my legs turning to jelly when in a high place. Weird....maybe I should work on getting in touch with my guardian angel. :)

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 16 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      This was a very good read -- you had me going. Recounting times of fears long past, most assuredly it is our guardian angel that gets us through. That is a part of why I named my son Gabriel.

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 16 months ago from london

      Beautiful! Lyrical too. Conjures up different meanings and I kind of like the idea of being supported, encouraged and eventually conquering the baser instinct. A bit like what I'm trying to do really. I have my own dizzy height-demons.

      Wonderful poetry!

    • Venkatachari M profile image

      Venkatachari M 16 months ago from Hyderabad, India

      Beautiful and inspirational. You have crafted the fears and doubts of life journey being faced by all of us in a very wonderful poetic language. The angel or God is always there to willingly help us if we only keep faith in him. Many thanks for this inspiring poem.

    • always exploring profile image
      Author

      Ruby Jean Fuller 16 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Bill. I'm afraid I still fear heights but not as bad. When I was a teenager the kids dared me to climb a water tower, I got about a third of the way when I froze. They had to come get me and they had to pry my hands loose to get me down. I like to think that I have a guardian angel watching over me. Thanks for coming by.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 16 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Ruby, the title of this drew me in. This was inspirational encouraging people to face their fears and overcome them..never give up, just take things slow. I just found out recently I have claustrophobia when I found myself locked in a confined space....I never knew that before, but it sure had me freaking out. Gotta love those guardian angels.

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 16 months ago from Massachusetts, USA

      Alwaysexploring: Ruby, When I first read the read the title I originally thought you might be referring to the possibility of someone jumping. I've always been afraid of heights, and never understood why people say, "Just don't look down." I wish it were that easy. I loved your inspirational, thought provoking poem. I believe in guardian angels. Once in a while, they're perched gently on our shoulder or whispering in our ear, giving us the courage to move forward when life holds its most fearful challenges for us. Hugs.

    • always exploring profile image
      Author

      Ruby Jean Fuller 16 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Eric. I had a feeling why you named your son Gabriel. I think we all had our childhood fears and even now. The thought of a guardian angel soothes and helps us to move forward. Thank you much..

    • always exploring profile image
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      Ruby Jean Fuller 16 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello manitata. My son's wife Janie is afraid to drive over a bridge. I guess we all have our fear's. I also refuse to fly. I have flown but was a total wreck when I reached my destination. Thank you..

    • whonunuwho profile image

      whonunuwho 16 months ago from United States

      I believe that each of us has a guardian angel. There have been many times that I would surly have been seriously hurt or lost my life except for the aid of my angel always by my side. Thank you for this well written expression of thankfulness my friend. whonu

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 16 months ago from California

      I used to dream about my guardian angel when I was very young! I had forgotten about that --this was a wonderful reminder!

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 16 months ago from Nashville Tn.

      Thank you Ruby for your beautiful poem expressing your fear of heights. This is my fear as well. It was especially strong when I was a child. I also want to thank you for reminding me that I have a guardian angel. Knowing this brings comfort and peace.

      Lovely!

      Audrey

    • sujaya venkatesh profile image

      sujaya venkatesh 16 months ago

      a hub full of hope

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 16 months ago from london

      Interesting Ruby. I'm not looking for a 'downer' here this serene Saturday morning, but some attribute phobias to small incidents in past life.

      I heard of a real life story where a woman and husband had dreams of the water and drowning, and they never went near the sea. Something happened one day many years later, and they were forced to take a ship which in fact became shipwrecked. They found themselves in the water but was saved. A very sweet outcome. the dreams stopped after that.

      As a young man growing up, I used to read a psychic magazine which I believe was called Strange, But True.

      Hope you come to London. Then I can take you to some places. Much Love.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 16 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      A beautiful write here. I enjoyed reading and like the images. Anything goes I think!

    • clivewilliams profile image

      Clive Williams 16 months ago from Nibiru

      nice lyrical poetry always exploring. I will also hold your hand to help you cross that bridge

    • always exploring profile image
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      Ruby Jean Fuller 16 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello VenkatachriM. I'm pleased that you found this inspiring. I do believe we each have a guardian angel if we believe. Thank you much.

    • always exploring profile image
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      Ruby Jean Fuller 16 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello John. Isn't it strange that you just found out you have claustrophobia? My sister Mary also has it. It must feel terrible. Happy you liked my poem. Thank you..

    • always exploring profile image
      Author

      Ruby Jean Fuller 16 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Genna. I guess if we look down we feel how high we really are. I think an angel must of sat on my shoulder a time or two. I still fear heights but nothing like I did when I was a child. So happy you came to read. Thank you..Hugs.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 16 months ago from Texas

      Dear Ruby, this is beautiful and I loved it.

      There is a bridge in the next town over from where I live and it has a traffic light on both sides and I fear getting caught stopped on it because it vibrates and my fear is it will collapse on the expressway below.

      Blessings and Hugs dear Ruby.

    • always exploring profile image
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      Ruby Jean Fuller 16 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello whonu. I am pleased to hear that you've experienced the helpfulness of an angel. It's wonderful to believe and have faith enough to acknowledge that fact and declare it. Bravo!

    • always exploring profile image
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      Ruby Jean Fuller 16 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Audrey. I'm so glad this reminded you of childhood dreams. Thank you for telling me..

    • always exploring profile image
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      Ruby Jean Fuller 16 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Audrey. Knowing that we each have a special guardian angel does bring a feeling of comfort and peace. I am so pleased that you are among us who believe. Thank you much.

    • always exploring profile image
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      Ruby Jean Fuller 16 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello sujava. I'm happy that you felt hope reading this. That makes me smile. Thank you.

    • always exploring profile image
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      Ruby Jean Fuller 16 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello manatita. I liked your story. It's funny how things happen. Phobias come in many different forms. One of mine is fear of flying. I have flown but was a total wreck when I reached my destination. I would love to visit London and see all the sites with you. Thank you for inviting me. Love and peace my friend.

    • always exploring profile image
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      Ruby Jean Fuller 16 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello DDE. Happy you enjoyed this poem. Thank you for coming by..

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      Ruby Jean Fuller 16 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Clive. You are so sweet. Thank you for offering to hold my hand as I cross the bridge. Hugs my friend..

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      Ruby Jean Fuller 16 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Shyron, I would find another way if I had to drive an extra hundred miles! Thank you for the beautiful comment. Hugs galore!

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 16 months ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Facing our deepest fears with faith...

      ...love the message of this empowering piece, dear Ruby.

    • always exploring profile image
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      Ruby Jean Fuller 16 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Mar. I'm so glad you liked this piece. I would hope that I would trust enough to cross that bridge. I believe I have always had a guardian angel. I just didn't realize it at times. Thank you so much dear friend.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 16 months ago from Shelton

      Always, this was a poetic rush.. for a poem it had everything that a short story could carry.. again what a rush...:) Frank

    • always exploring profile image
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      Ruby Jean Fuller 16 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Frank. I'm so glad you got a rush from this piece. Your comments are so pleasing to my psyche. Thank you..

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 16 months ago from Central Florida

      Ruby, when I was a young girl, I was a daredevil. Nothing frightened me; not heights or tight quarters. Now, I'm deathly afraid of heights, can't walk up open-backed stairs, go past the third rung on a ladder, or be cramped in a small space (claustrophobia reared its head as I aged).

      I'm sure if my life depended on any of the above, I'd grab tightly to my guardian angel and hope she's there. Until then, I'll steer clear of situations that frighten me.

      Kudos to you, though, for facing and tackling your fears!

    • always exploring profile image
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      Ruby Jean Fuller 16 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Shauna. That's so strange that you developed these phobias later in life. I've had my fear of heights since childhood. I am also afraid of interstate driving. That started when I was going to Fl. in the winter months. I don't know if you could call it a phobia or just a panic attack. My heartrate elevates and the palms of my hands sweat profusely. I guess my guardian angel needs to accompany me when I must get on the interstate. I usually take the back roads, but sometime there's no escaping the interstate. Thanks for coming to read. I appreciate you..

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 16 months ago from Central Florida

      Ruby, I can't drive the Interstate or any big highways anymore. Over a decade ago I had a tire blow out on I-4 at 80 mph. My car went from the far left lane, across three lanes, swirled around and traveled backwards along a fence line on the side of the road. I was absolutely certain I was going to die! My car stopped 10 feet from the swamp. It was totaled but I was unhurt. A few years after that incident I experienced a panic attack while traveling to a jobsite party via I-4. I had to get off and take back roads all the way. It took me forever to get there. I just can't do highways any more and that bothers me. I have to take Interstates and/or the turnpike to visit my folks who live in South Florida. I'm almost ashamed to say it's been almost seven years since I've seen them. I just can't do highways without going into major panic mode.

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      Tammy 16 months ago

      I think that how we face our fears.

    • carolinemd21 profile image

      Caroline Marie 16 months ago from Close to Heaven

      I love this Ruby. It really drew me in. :)

    • always exploring profile image
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      Ruby Jean Fuller 16 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Shauna. Your tire blow out gave me the chills, you are lucky to be alive. The only thing I can think of about me being afraid of driving on the interstate and around curves, when I was about four my mother and my stepfather had a fight, he was drinking. My mother got in her car, ( with me. ) and started to drive, he jumped on the side of the car and my mother started driving fast and went around a curve, flinging him off. The image has never left my psyche. It seems we have a few things in common. Bless you my friend.

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 16 months ago from Riga, Latvia

      A most wonderful and inspirational poem.

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      Ruby Jean Fuller 16 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Tammy. I do too. We all have a guardian angel if we have faith and believe. I love you my sweet neighbor.

    • always exploring profile image
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      Ruby Jean Fuller 16 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Caroline. I'm glad the title drew you to this piece. Thank you for coming.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 16 months ago from southern USA

      Hi Ruby,

      What a rush! I know without a doubt my guardian angel has been there for me in times of trouble. I have had some really amazing experiences involving angels right there when I needed them. I have written about some of those experiences.

      You had us sweating there for a bit. I see you have been publishing up a storm. I am trying to catch up from being away from HP so much. I was blessed with another grandson on December 28.

      Hugs and blessings for this New Year

    • always exploring profile image
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      Ruby Jean Fuller 16 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Theresa. I missed you, but I see you had a good reason for being away from HP. Another grandson, how wonderful! Congratulations. I am happy to know that you have a guardian angel who watches over you. I know I have one and I feel so close when she's near. Thank you for coming to read.

      Hugs and blessings my friend.

    • always exploring profile image
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      Ruby Jean Fuller 15 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Rasma. Looks like I missed your comment, sorry about that. I'm always happy to see you. Thank you for the wonderful comment..

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 15 months ago from SW England

      Beautiful poem about a common fear. I'm usually ok with heights but I hate it if someone else stands close to a cliff edge or similar and I can't do it either. We all need to conquer our fears and a guardian angel helps tremendously.

      I can sense the fear and the shall I/shan't I or can I/can't I elements in your writing; well done!

      Ann

    • always exploring profile image
      Author

      Ruby Jean Fuller 15 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Ann. I'm afraid I still carry that fear but not as bad when I was a child. Just the thought of standing near a cliff brings a chill. I firmly believe in guardian angels. Thank you much..

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