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Internet marketing rhymes for the times

Updated on December 14, 2010

The Truth about Internet Marketing in rhyme.

Here is a typical Internet Marketing sales pitch with just a touch of humor!

Fed up to the back teeth with all the get rich quick liars on the Internet? Me too!

Every one of them a guru apparently and FAR too rich to need your money. Funny thing that!

Out of the generosity they feel towards you personally without having met you, they are astonishingly generous. You would reckon that you had personally helped their kids through college the way they smother you with love and riches!

Of course in truth if you buy their overpriced rubbish you will indeed be helping them to educate their kids, but not yours unfortunately.

It took me ages to learn all this stuff, like 5 years so this is like a poetic compilation of all the bulldust that gets pushed in to our emails.


Just like the song.
Just like the song.
You'll go blind!
You'll go blind!

Making money for beginners. A lesson poem.

The headlines yell "GET RICH RIGHT NOW".
Come help us milk this huge cash cow!

"I've made 10 million just this week
It only took a tiny tweak.
You can't go wrong just follow me
and you'll retire in luxury
I have a very secret way
so secret that you have to pay
You know it's true I would not lie
If you get rich then so will I"

Truth is, Newbies I have seen
make not a dollar not a bean.
big guys big money this is true
but not the grunts like me and you.

They use what works, sell us the old
and make sure we are never told.
There is no secret, no not one
there's hundreds more and more to come
But first you have to learn and pay
for all the things you need today.

like shopping carts and ppc
and ssl and php
bandwidth costs are climbing high
for little guys like you and I
Adwords campaigns, kewords to find
and other stuff to wreck your mind

with 15 hours at the screen
your eyes are brown, where they were green
and bugger me, if that's not all
you made a start and then you stall

You still must pay to host your site and then if everything is right
You make a pittance on the way
just cents for hours everyday
So when you do make dough online
you've earnt it, every single dime

then get too smart and lose the lot
a google slap has killed your plot!

look for those who know the game
who teach it free and not for fame
They teach wiithout the hype and lies
so you can learn what really flys
If you desire a truthful feast

read Michael Block's "Taming the beast"

(This was not meant as an ad for Michaels site, but he is the most broadly educated and helpful person I have met online so far, and I have been online since Noah spread sheeted the animals on his his cpm machine.)


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    • earnestshub profile image

      earnestshub 8 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      Think so? Thanks!

    • profile image

      ralwus 8 years ago

      Hey this is pretty good earnest. good job. LOL

    • earnestshub profile image

      earnestshub 8 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      Thank you k@ri I am glad I made you laugh...

    • k@ri profile image

      Kari Poulsen 8 years ago from Ohio

      I really enjoyed this one! It has good rhyme and meter, and made me laugh :D

    • earnestshub profile image

      earnestshub 8 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      dayzeebee, Thanks, and I will indeed. Nice to be human!

    • dayzeebee profile image

      dayzeebee 8 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      I Earnesthub, you are most welcome. I'm glad to find another comment here. Oh do delete the empty capsule with my name. My computer went nuts for a bit and I didn't know why that happened. Goes to show computers just like people make mistakes too and that is all right.LOL. Keep enjoying life:)

    • earnestshub profile image

      earnestshub 8 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      I would like to have squeezed in between the comments and replied seperately, but this will have to do.

      dayzeebee, a grateful thank you! I am thrilled that you understood the intention of my little rhyme, and thank you for your sincere and practical help.

      Lifebydesign, You think so? That makes me feel pretty good. Thank you very much. I feel a bit self conscious writing poetry, there seem to be so many rules and yet none when attempting to speak in rhyme. You and dayzeebee have given me confidence with this awkward part of myself. I will try not to flood Hub-Pages with poems!

    • Lifebydesign profile image

      Lifebydesign 8 years ago from Australia

      You've truly captured the essence. Nicely done!

    • dayzeebee profile image

      dayzeebee 8 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      This hub need not stay unnoticed any longer, for there are those who need to understand the ways of the unscrupulous online marketer. My thanks to you for getting my attention. I hope this comment shows in the hubtivity portion and get others to come and appreciate your intention.LOL. I couldn't resist it. This is good work and I enjoyed it much. Thumbs up!