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A week ago

Updated on May 21, 2015

Still, missing you all the same…


Mama,

It has already been a week.

My gut hurts.

I feel so alone.

I can only hope

I made you proud -

that you were watching

and saw me holding Daddy’s hand.


Mama,

I planted the flowers

I picked out that sat in

the white wicker basket -

the one that sat atop of your casket.

All I have to do is look out my window

and see white and purple-tipped daisies

and know you are here with me.


Mama,

I took the flowers in vases

to the hospital front desk,

and asked the lady to investigate,

find out who could use them the most,

to just put them in their rooms

and tell them they were sent from an angel.


Mama,

I have been selfish today.

I just did not have it in me

to answer the phone

or do anything

but hold your pillow

for I brought it home with me

so I could hold onto you.


Mama,

We all miss you

and are coping in our own

unique ways.

There are lots of “Thank You” cards to send,

but I just did not have it in me

to work on them today.


Mama,

Did you hear me

when I sang to you?

Did you feel my tears

falling down on you?

Did you see all the love

pouring forth from my heart?


Mama,

I don’t know what

I am going to do.

How am I going to make it

in this world without you?

I am trying really hard to be brave

and strong, but I feel so

all alone.


Mama,

I know you are no longer suffering

and free from the pain.

I can hear you rocking me

with winds of change

for the wind has blown

wild and free today.

And with each breath

air feels my room.


I see you riding that white horse

maybe playing Tarzan and Jane

hugging your mama and daddy


Still, missing you all the same…

The picture is of my niece and my mama's oldest granddaughter.  She turned 12 yesterday.
The picture is of my niece and my mama's oldest granddaughter. She turned 12 yesterday.

One of my mama's favorite songs

© 2015 ocfireflies

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    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 23 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Oh Kim, I feel for you and my sincere condolences on your loss. I am wiping away a tear as I write this. Your beautiful poem is touching and clearly heartfelt. Your mother would be so proud of you. I know what it's like remembering too well my own father's passing and my mother one year later. Stay strong. Hugs. (I love Annie's Song)

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 23 months ago from North Carolina

      John,

      Does it get any easier?

      Kim

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 23 months ago from California

      Oh Kim--I am so sorry--hugs to you--this is beautiful and a wonderful way to feel your mom close to you--

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 23 months ago from North Carolina

      Audrey,

      Thank You. My mom was always so supportive of my need to write.

      Kim

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 23 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Kim, yes it does over time..I try not to dwell on it...but especially on birthdays, anniversaries etc it hits you all over again. I have a rose bush that we gave my father for his birthday not long before he died...it still starts to flower around his birthday ever year.

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 23 months ago from North Carolina

      John,

      Thanks for sharing and understanding.

      Kim

    • jhamann profile image

      Jamie Lee Hamann 23 months ago from Reno NV

      Kim-my prayers for you at this time of loss. Your poem was so sincere and from your heart, I cannot describe how well your emotions were expressed. Thank you for sharing and allowing us access into your sorrow. Your friend, Jamie.

    • word55 profile image

      Word 23 months ago from Chicago

      Wow Kim, you took me through your most sincere feelings, you took me back to yesteryear 2003 when my dear mom left me. I sympathize with you. I understand what you're going through but I tell ya, you may as well get used to enjoying life with frequent memories of your dear mom. There are too many things in every day life that are going to remind you of her. So, enjoy the precious memories as she would want you to enjoy the rest of your life. And remember, you are never alone, my dear. Thanks for sharing!

    • Phyllis Doyle profile image

      Phyllis Doyle Burns 23 months ago from High desert of Nevada.

      Kim, my deepest empathy for you during this difficult time. Your poem is a lovely tribute to your beloved Mother and part of healing for you. When my Mother died I wrote so many thoughts about her and my emotions. It really helped. I was happy to read that your Mother was always so supportive of your need to write. I am sure she holds your words close even now.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 23 months ago from southern USA

      Dear Kim,

      I am so sorry for your great loss of your precious mother. What a loving tribute here to your dear mother. I wrote a lot too when my mother died in 2012, just five days before Christmas and four days after the 84th birthday. It is so hard. I have no doubt your mother knows of your love and especially loves your written words.

      I am keeping you and yours in my thoughts and prayers, sweet Kim.

      (((Hugs))) and much love always

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 23 months ago from North Carolina

      Jamie, Word and Phyllis,

      Thank you for indulging me at this time of sorrow. It really helps me to know I belong to a community where people get me and are so kind and supportive.

      Kim

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 23 months ago from North Carolina

      Theresa,

      I need those hugs and am so very grateful.

      Kim

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 23 months ago from Olympia, WA

      My heart goes out to you, Kim. I lost my father when I was twenty....my mother ten years ago. Anything I say would sound trite. We move forward and slowly we survive. That's the best I can give you tonight.

      hugs and blessings

      bill

    • Romeos Quill profile image

      Romeos Quill 23 months ago from Lincolnshire, England

      Princess Kim;

      Such a loving and heartfelt poetry dedicated to your mom; you will go through disbelief, fear, anger...an emotional wringer but it does get easier.

      Annie's Song is such a beautiful tune - your mother had really good taste in music. My mum is 76 now but I lost my dad when he was 66 so know what you are going through. I was told that the first rule after a death is to look after the living, and it really does help.

      Thinking of you at this difficult time.

      This one is for you:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-tlHE7PMwY

    • sallybea profile image

      Sally Gulbrandsen 23 months ago from Norfolk

      ocfireflies

      I feel your pain and sorrow. Thinking of you at this very sad time. I am sorry for your loss.

      Best wishes,

      Sally

    • SANJAY LAKHANPAL profile image

      Sanjay Sharma 23 months ago from Mandi (HP) India

      May her souls rest in peace. The thorns of memories prick the heart. The loss is irreparable and life seems to be worthless without those whom we love. Many a spring will come but the departed one will never come back to share our joys and sorrows.

      Your poem made me think once again, that we should not waste life in patty wranglings, rather love the loved ones as much as we can. Who knows whether the destiny will bestow us another chance or not. My sincere condolence. You will have to learn to live without her. But this is life............

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 23 months ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      Kim, my dear friend, I'm so sorry, please accept my sincerest condolences on the loss of your Mum. Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you during this sad time. The poem is beautiful and heartfelt, love and pain in every line. My mum died about 12 years ago, I still think about her every day, but I mostly remember the good times. Take care and my very best always.

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 23 months ago from North Carolina

      Bill, RQ, Sally,Sanjay and Jo,

      Thank you so much for being there.

      Bill-hugs and blessings

      Prince Romeo-the video was beautiful

      Sally-best wishes

      Sanjay-mama's resting soul

      Jo-the good times

      So thankful for all of you,

      Kim

    • profile image

      frances fuller 23 months ago

      Dear Kim,

      Time will help. I know at this moment that is impossible to believe ….but I promise you--- that time will help. Be patient and keep moving. But also rest, read and write. I love you, frances

    • PurvisBobbi44 profile image

      PurvisBobbi44 23 months ago from Florida

      Hi Kim.

      I feel your pain as I lost my mother when she was 66 years old. Hold on to the happy memories knowing she felt your love and I believe her spirit still can feel love. My mother will always live in my heart and memory.

      I send hugs and prayers your way.

      Bobbi Purvis

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 23 months ago from North Carolina

      Bobbi,

      Thank you.

      Kim

    • The Examiner-1 profile image

      The Examiner-1 23 months ago

      That was beautiful Kim! It was meaningful and true too. (Did it really happen? If so, I am sorry.) You have done a good job here. I voted up, shared and pinned it.

      Kevin

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 23 months ago from North Carolina

      Kevin,

      My mama passed away the day after her birthday, the Thursday following Mother's Day @ 7:15 PM on May 14th, 2015. Your comment and support are appreciated.

      Blessings,

      Kim

      Kim

    • The Examiner-1 profile image

      The Examiner-1 23 months ago

      At least it was the day after her birthday, I have heard so many say that it happened on the day before. I was not sure whether it was true but because of that photo and song, (which I love), I thought so.

      Kevin

      Mine went 5 years ago on her month, it may have been on her B-day or nowhere near it, I do not remember now.

    • Michael-Milec profile image

      Michael-Milec 23 months ago

      Kim, Peace. May peace surround you as you think of your mama. Your heart's whisper "mama we all miss you...' are words of mine, many of us... Memory of mama grow closer to our hearts as we're getting older because mama's heart is God's heart in human being.

      ' Mama you are always here...mama's spirit.'

      Voted beautiful.

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 23 months ago from North Carolina

      Michael-Milec,

      Thank you for your beautiful words.

      Kim

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 23 months ago from Texas

      Kim, I am so sorry for your loss and the grief that follows. I know because my own mama is gone but, I know she is at home as the Angel came and told when her time was near.

      This is a beautiful tribute to your mama and tell us how much she loved and cared for you, and she still does and she would want you to go on living, not giving up your memories of her, but share them through your life.

      Voted-thumb up, ABI and shared

      Blessings and Hugs to you Dear Kim.

      Shyron

      P.S. I love you song choice.

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 23 months ago from North Carolina

      Shyron,

      Thank You. "Like storm in the desert; Like a sleepy blue ocean..."

      Kim

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 23 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Kim, "Like the mountains in Springtime, like a walk in the rain..like a night in the forest.."

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 23 months ago from North Carolina

      You fill up my senses. Smiles

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 23 months ago from Massachusetts, USA

      Dear Kim…I know something of what you are experiencing…and my heart truly goes out to you. Your words are so close to what I felt when I lost my Mum. John (Jodah), is right in what he said about how time helps with the healing. My deepest sympathy, thoughts and prayers are with you.

    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker suzettetaos 23 months ago from Taos, NM

      I am so sorry for your loss, Kim. I do think you made her proud and that she is smiling down on you. This is a beautiful heartfelt poem and thoughts you have written here. Your mother was so fortunate to have you as a daughter.

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 23 months ago from North Carolina

      Genna and Suzette,

      Thank you for being such wonderful people. Thank you for your kind words.

      Kim

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 23 months ago from Riga, Latvia

      I lost my mom in 2006 and yes, it gets easier but you never stop missing mom. I know she is with me and watching over me and that gives me comfort. I have felt her and seen her and I know she is near. Hugs and love to you. Go out on a starry night and the brightest star you see is your mom radiating her love down on you.

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 23 months ago from North Carolina

      GRL,

      Your words are beautiful and bring me comfort. I did see my first lightening bug night before last, and in my heart I felt that one little lightening bug's light was in fact radiating mama's love for me. Thank you dear one.

      Kim

    • Jo_Goldsmith11 profile image

      Jo_Goldsmith11 21 months ago

      My deepest heartfelt prayers for you. It has been 12 years since I lost my mom. Wishing you only peace and acceptance as the long painful days without her start to be shorter and less painful.

      Sending you big spirit hugs! Shared and Up= Beautiful.

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 21 months ago from North Carolina

      Jo,

      Thank you so much for your support and understanding. I am hoping I will get back in the groove with HP soon. Since my mom passed away, my time has been devoted to being there for my dad.

      Blessings,

      Kim

    • brakel2 profile image

      Audrey Selig 21 months ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

      Dear Kim What a lovely poem as a tribute to your mother. The rhyming and the deep passion in your feelings ring so true about the death of a lovely mother. Such bonds exist between a mother and a daughter that can never be forgotten. Sometimes we wonder, as a mother and daughter becomes a true friendship, whether it is a good thing. Can it be too close to bring on such devastation? The answer may be that the memories will be cherished forever, as your memories eventually will be so great that they can overpower all in God's name.

      In the meantime, blessings to you in your time of sorrow. Audrey

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 21 months ago from North Carolina

      Audrey,

      Thank you so much for kind comments. I really hope to get back to my groove with my writing, but family has been my focus. I know that as much as it is difficult for me to lose my mom, it is just so much for my dad who has lost his soulmate of 52 years. I will be by your HP space to check out your work, but I ask that you are patient with me while I spend my time right now being there for my family.

      Much Love to You.

      Blessings Always,

      Kim

    • janshares profile image

      Janis Leslie Evans 19 months ago from Washington, DC

      Just beautiful, touching, and deeply heartfelt. I recently lost my aunt, lost my mom 5 years ago. I re-lived each of those losses through your poetic words. Thank you for sharing and validating the sting of mama grief and loss. You don't know until you know.

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 19 months ago from North Carolina

      Janis,

      It is true. "You really do not know until you know." Thank you for validating those feelings and being able to relate through my poetry. My mama would be proud.

      Blessings,

      Kim

    • theraggededge profile image

      Bev 19 months ago from Wales

      I love your poem. Beautiful and gut wrenching at the same time. I cannot imagine how it feels - but one day it will happen for me too. I love my mother so much.

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 19 months ago from North Carolina

      I feel like I have made a new friend. Bev is also the name of one of my closest and dearest friends. Thank you for making my day.

      Kim

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 19 months ago from Florida

      I am SO sorry you have lost your beloved Mother. Mine died 20 years ago, and I still miss her. I think I always will. She was my best friend.

      Your poem was absolutely beautiful.

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 19 months ago from North Carolina

      mary615,

      I am also sorry for your loss. I feel certain that it will never matter how many years goes by for I know I will never stop missing my mama. Thank you for describing my poem in such a lovely way.

      Many Blessings,

      Kim

    • peachpurple profile image

      peachy 19 months ago from Home Sweet Home

      Oh iam so sorry abt your mom passing, may her soul rest in peace

    • ocfireflies profile image
      Author

      ocfireflies 19 months ago from North Carolina

      Thank You peachpurple.

      Blessings,

      Kim

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