A week ago

Mama,

It has already been a week.

My gut hurts.

I feel so alone.

I can only hope

I made you proud -

that you were watching

and saw me holding Daddy’s hand.

Mama,

I planted the flowers

I picked out that sat in

the white wicker basket -

the one that sat atop of your casket.

All I have to do is look out my window

and see white and purple-tipped daisies

and know you are here with me.

Mama,

I took the flowers in vases

to the hospital front desk,

and asked the lady to investigate,

find out who could use them the most,

to just put them in their rooms

and tell them they were sent from an angel.

Mama,

I have been selfish today.

I just did not have it in me

to answer the phone

or do anything

but hold your pillow

for I brought it home with me

so I could hold onto you.

Mama,

We all miss you

and are coping in our own

unique ways.

There are lots of “Thank You” cards to send,

but I just did not have it in me

to work on them today.

Mama,

Did you hear me

when I sang to you?

Did you feel my tears

falling down on you?

Did you see all the love

pouring forth from my heart?

Mama,

I don’t know what

I am going to do.

How am I going to make it

in this world without you?

I am trying really hard to be brave

and strong, but I feel so

all alone.

Mama,

I know you are no longer suffering

and free from the pain.

I can hear you rocking me

with winds of change

for the wind has blown

wild and free today.

And with each breath

air feels my room.

I see you riding that white horse

maybe playing Tarzan and Jane

hugging your mama and daddy

Still, missing you all the same…