ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Books, Literature, and Writing»
  • Commercial & Creative Writing»
  • Creative Writing»
  • Humor Writing

Advantages of Being an Older Mom: A Humorous Look

Updated on March 16, 2011

No, we're not the grandparents.


I don't know who was more surprised, my obstetrician or my family, when we found out I was expecting a new baby at the ripe old age of 42. This "late life" pregnancy caused quite the sensation in our small town. When I called my friend who is a pastor's wife she began to cry and called my husband and me "Abraham and Sarah." Now wait just a minute here! I'm older but not that old!!!

What My Older Mom Friends and I Have Learned

-You don’t need to buy maternity clothes because everything you wear is stretchy anyway.

-If all the handicapped parking spaces are filled you can use the expectant mom spaces.

-Breastfeeding doesn’t make you any more “saggy” than you were before.

-There are less sacrifices in observing a bland diet in order not to upset the baby’s stomach when breastfeeding because you can’t tolerate the spicy foods either.

-You can save time and gas by picking up the Huggies and Depends on the same shopping trip and getting the senior discount on baby diapers is pretty cool.

-Your friend’s kids are mostly grown but haven’t begun to provide grandchildren so you’re deluged with offers to babysit.

-When you’re older you need less sleep which is what most babies are all about.

-You don’t need to buy a stroller as your power chair will carry you both.

-You and your baby can enjoy soft foods together.

-Burping and passing gas can be blamed on the baby.

-You both go to the doctor quite often so your deductible is satisfied early in the year. (Maybe that's not so advantageous.)

-For entertainment you and your little one can race your walkers.

-Kids’ books have less words and the print is bigger. You may not even need your reading glasses!

-You can better sympathize with your child when you are both losing teeth at about the same rate.

-Going to movies is less expensive as you get the senior discount and the little one gets in free.

I'm Sure There Are More

These are just some of the advantages I can think of. I'm sure there are more but I can't remember them because I'm an older mom!


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • U Neek profile image

      U Neek 4 years ago from Georgia, USA

      Thank you so much for reading my hub and for the nice comments!

    • Becky Bruce profile image

      Becky Bruce 5 years ago from San Diego, CA

      Love the ".... saggy from breastfeeding..." example!!! How funny are you!!! It's so common now for older women to have babies! It's become the norm to see middle-aged women totting toddlers. There are many positives to this though, like much wiser parenting ;) Great hub, voted up.

    • U Neek profile image

      U Neek 5 years ago from Georgia, USA

      Yes, Pamela, I feel lucky and blessed. Our late life bundle of joy is now 12 years old and keeps our lives interesting and our bodies hopping, well as close to my 54 year old bones can be to hopping! Thank you for commenting.

    • Pamela Kinnaird W profile image

      Pamela Kinnaird W 5 years ago from Maui and Arizona

      This was a great article. You're very funny. And you lucky lady -- getting a bonus like you did.

    • U Neek profile image

      U Neek 6 years ago from Georgia, USA

      I remember the "cut-off." It was age 35 and was considered a high risk pregnancy at that point. As my family doctor told me, women used to have babies into their 40s quite often before birth control. My body had no idea it was "crossing the line" with my "late life" conception. "Cut-off" indeed! Thanks for reading and commenting!

    • dearabbysmom profile image

      dearabbysmom 6 years ago from Indiana

      I enjoyed this! I had my youngest at 34 and remember being told I had "just missed the cut-off". Cut-off for what?? You have proved there is no such thing!

    • U Neek profile image

      U Neek 6 years ago from Georgia, USA

      Thank you so much for the kind comments and the votes. It was fun to write!

    • KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

      Susan Haze 6 years ago from Sunny Florida

      What a funny light hearted hub. I love your sense of humor. Voted up and awesome.

    • U Neek profile image

      U Neek 6 years ago from Georgia, USA

      Thank you, capncrunch. I thought my girls were widely spaced at almost ten years but 22! Wow!

    • capncrunch profile image

      capncrunch 6 years ago from New Orleans

      Hey U Neek,

      That is a very funny hub. My mother had my last litte sister just shy of age 40. We are 22 years apart and she's always called me big brother because I am the oldest sibling. The next youngest before her is the only other sister who is 5 years youger than I. Great writing.

    • U Neek profile image

      U Neek 6 years ago from Georgia, USA

      RJ, I appreciate your kind comments so very much. Now I have to check out your hubs. I know they're gonna be good 'cause you have really great taste in writers. ;-) Thanks for the encouragement!

    • Reynold Jay profile image

      Reynold Jay 6 years ago from Saginaw, Michigan

      Oh ho! we have a FUNNY FUNNY writer here!!!!I enjoyed this very much. You have this laid out beautifully and it is easy to understand. Keep up the great HUBS. Up one and FUNNY. Hey! I'm now your fan! RJ

    • U Neek profile image

      U Neek 6 years ago from Georgia, USA

      Thank you Esmeowl12. I appreciate your reading me and taking the time to post a comment.

    • Esmeowl12 profile image

      Cindy A. Johnson 6 years ago from Sevierville, TN

      Wonderful. LOL. Thanks for a great hub.