All In Your Head

Was this it the whole ending? My friends and family crying over top of me, saying their good-byes. Was I ready for death? Absolutely not. Was I expecting death? Well yea sure, we all have to go sometime. Right? But let’s slow down a little. I’m sure this story has you already wanting to throw the book down, just slow your roll and let me explain.

My name is Lewis. And that guy up there well he’s Jason. He’s my creator. He’s not a bad writer; still has some kinks to work out but hey he came up with me right? So I think I’m pretty lucky. Now I met Jason a few years ago when I was just a little thought bubble hanging over his head. Jason’s confidence finally grew enough to take me from a thought bubble to a full on stick figure. After that I started to have a voice and I grew into this whole new life. I was feeling pretty good about all of this. But of course like many imaginative people Jason would play around with ideas that weren’t as fun.

In my growing I have been through so many career ideas. I remember Jason tried me out as a superhero well that was a flop. Who knew an evil bunny was already taken as a villain. BTW thank you so much for that cartoon people. I find myself giggling at the thought. Or the time I was supposed to be a soldier, Jason took me on a training exercise to see what those guys really do. Thank You to guys that showed my genius creator paintballs really hurt; now what if that were a real bullet moron. Do you see what I have to deal with? Love this guy but sometimes for being word smart he’s missing a few common sense smarts.

Anyways after all the fun he decided to put me in a dead-end job as a mechanic, making crap money and no girl. But I will say he didn’t do badly on the looks; nice body, full head of hair, and a good arm to chunk a wrench at someone pissing me off. Like I said before this is only the beginning. Let’s move forward a little.

Jason looks for inspiration from nature and music for the most part but sometimes he gets his funny bone mixed in the middle of it all and well needless to say that puts me in awkward situations. For example; Jason met this chick at the coffee shop; I know so cliché. However they seemed to hit it off and he would use his experiences with me hooking up with a chick in my story. Well Amber; Jason’s “Friend” turned into Jessica; Lewis’s “Friend”. I’ll put it this way for the PG-13 group, Amber/Jessica is a FREAK! Not fun in the sun freak either. I mean whips and chains, Holy shit I’m not game. FREAK!!! Therefore safe to say second base was out of the question for the both of us. Just my opinion ladies no offense you should come with caution signs.

Another day passes at the mechanic shop and I’m apparently having a decent day; humming a song in my brain, working on this mustang. Red? Really Jason, could you be any more common, let’s change it up dude. There you go Canary yellow. See what I did right there? Yea baby; while I may only be a character in a book; I’m still a huge influence in Jason’s mind; at least that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

There’s that look. Jason gets this cocky grin when he has a new idea to try out in our story. Sometimes I worry about this guy. He’s writing at lightning speed before the idea slips away from him. Now we wait for him to perfect the idea or chunk it in the trash can like the other hundreds of sheets of paper from times before. If I were a tree I would kick his ass. Dude you have a computer for a reason use it stop wasting the paper. Whoa did you see that? He just stopped what he was doing and listened to me. Hold that thought I have to try something. Hey Jason, do a favor for me dude can we get a soda and snack machine in the shop? SCORE!!! He is listening to me. He totally added a soda and snack machine to the script. This is great. Now maybe I can fix this story up a little.

Bedtime is usually when I try to relax and hope for great ideas to come to Jason on his own but I’m so excited about my new talent I think I will help his creative side out a little. I can see Jason tossing and turning so that must mean his brain is running ninety to nothing with all my ideas. Yep here he comes. Okay here we go, alright we’re going out to a club tonight. Guess this means I’m going to be getting a new girl. Remember Jason, No freaks. Wait why are you still sitting here I thought you were going to the club? Oh I see; I’m going to the club. Ok big boy let’s see what you got in mind. Here let me help you. The place needs to be affordable on my salary, of course; don’t make me out to be something I’m not. I’m not a douche. Let’s get some good tunes going to set the mood. No, No sappy music this is supposed to be a hopping club. There you go “Fall Out Boy” good choice, now let’s get the girls. Hmmm okay we got the girls in the skimpy dresses that if they bend over they’ll be showing everyone what they got for sell. How about some small town country girls; let’s just shake up the scenery a bit. There ya go. Right there I see the one I’m taking home. No, goofball not her she might kill me, hell she looks like she take a bull by the horns, and I mean that in the literally. That one over there long legs, Levi jeans, long blonde hair, and nice tan, among other nice views. Wow would you check out those baby blues. Care to introduce us? Please and thank you.

I slowly cross the room to the young beauty that had caught my eye. I smiled, took a deep breath and as I was about to tap her on the shoulder the hair on the back of my neck stood up and I knew that Jason was about to throw one of his hair brain ideas into the mix; and it always turns out to be his sense of humor getting the better of him. I guess that’s what I get for playing with his ideas. I tend to forget that he loves to find the funny in everything. Therefor I brace myself for the joke. As my blonde beauty turns to show herself; well so far so good. Please lord just have all your teeth when you smile. She smiles back and I mentally count and observe. Yep all teeth accounted for. Ok what’s the catch?

I strike up a conversation “Hey what’s your name? I’m Lewis.”

“Hi Lewis. I’m Beth. Are you new around here?” She seemed almost perfect; too perfect.

I could feel something bad fixing to happen. “Hey you want to join us girls for a drink? There’s plenty of room at our table.” She looked at her friends and smiled. What have you put me in the middle of Jason? I could hear him giggle above me as he typed away. Beth introduced me to all her friends and each one giggled and watched me like I was about to be served to Dracula’s brides. Oh god please no biting on my boys, Jason. If they start biting I will make it my mission to kill your sense of humor. Jason continue to giggle and shake his head until he was in full blown laughter. I started getting nervous because the harder he laughed the tighter these girls closed in around me.

Beth giggled quietly. “Lewis, you look a little nervous around this many ladies. Don’t worry we don’t bite, just nibble a bit.” She laughed

That’s it!!! I’m out!!!

I forgot I couldn’t go anywhere unless Jason said so in the story. Shit!

“Come on let’s get out of here.” All the girls grabbed their stuff and started for the door.

NO, NO, and NO don’t do it Jason. Well needless to say he done it. So here I am stuck between five women walking down a sidewalk praying that big Bertha over here doesn’t decide to take me by the horns and have her way with me. I look up to her and can’t seem to help myself and ask “What’s your name?” The big one giggles like a shy school girl and yep sure as shit she smiles and NO TEETH!!! Please lord don’t say your name is Bertha. Well guess what? Yep you got it. “I’m Bertha”

Where do you think you’re going? Jason get back here and finish this. Dude don’t leaving me hanging like this. Jason!!!

Oh thank you for coming back. Wait what are you doing now?

SERIOUSLY???

To Be Continued……