Cash Strapped Solutions

When every thing is getting expensive and we really have to tighten our belts. This is not only temporary, or even localised, it is all around us, at home and abroad.

This is not only affecting the poor, but also the top billionaires, have shuffled around and have lost their top spots as others have moved up because of where their major portfolio holdings are in the sea of commodities, stocks, bonds etc.

Yet somehow, it is very comforting to know, that even the Super Rich, are feeling some sort of pinch in this economic crunch.

Maybe they have to skip the fillet at least once a weak.

1. DON'T waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.
2. DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with your old bank statements.
3. SAVE money on expensive personalised car number plates by changing your name to match your existing plate. - Mr. KVL 741 GP , this is a South African number plate for the Guateng Province.
4. DON'T waste money buying expensive binoculars; simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.
5. SAVE electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking around wearing a miner's hat.
6. HOUSEWIVES, the best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in your coat pocket.
7. OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books, simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know.
8. SAVE on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The following morning you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.
9. CAN'T afford contact lenses? Simply cut out small circles of cling film and press them into your eyes.
10. MAKE your own inexpensive mints by leaving blobs of toothpaste to dry on a window sill. Use striped toothpaste to make humbugs.
11. SHOPPERS, when buying oranges, get more for your money by peeling them before taking them to the counter to be weighed.
12. Take advantage of the one months free trial at the local fitness centres, dont shower or shave at home just use their fascilities, saves soup hot water and water, in some cases even the soup is provided.
13. Eat with your parents often as you can, try not be too obvious
14. Carry your own teabags and order hot water and a slice of lemon, at the coffee shops, shake your teabag in it until it has just started to release the tea. Use their sugar or sweatener.
15. After removing the teabag from the above mentioned cup place in a tupperware container, will last for at leasts ten cups.

Household Electricity

Over 40% of your electricity bill is used to run your geyser, so it is one of the first genuine savings area to look at, when trying to reduce your overall running costs.

1. Switch geyser off during the day, if you do your ablutions in the morning or switch off during night if your ablutions are done at night.
2. Use your washing machine and dish washer, connect only to the cold water inlet. Reduces the drain of water from the geyser.
3. Shower more often, uses +/- 25% less hot water than the average bath.

Further savings can be achieved by using your stove correctly and as little as possible.

1. Use an electric slow cooker for casserole and stews.
2. Make use of Pressure cookers, quicker.
3. Do not use the oven for toasting doing the morning toast, use the toaster.
4. Do not put a large pot on a small stove plate, it makes for inefficient usage of electricity.
5. When you need to make pasta or rice on the stove boil the water in the kettle then transfer it to the stove, the cooking time for pasta and rice is then greatly reduced, hey this also applies to potatoes as well.

 This day has dawned

Tom Foolery

Runs rampant

his pranks and practises

Range far and wide

His practices

spread to

news

to practical

pranks

and ingenious schemes

So If C. Lion

leaves a message

The local zoos are

constantly pestered

Urban legends

are born today

Ponte building

a Cmax Prison

Underwater Casino

on the Vaal

Table Mountain

hollowed out

to form Cavern hotel

Me streaking through

later on

to pick you up

A grandly day

avoid the

Ship of Fools

Do not sail away.

Comment on the recent heavy rain falls

The clouds

a muted smokey

steely grey

a sombre blanket

on a line

drip

drip

dripping

onto

the sodden

earth below.

Tis raining

the life giving

waters that

feed our rivers

have

washed our roads

have swept away

cars

shacks.

And on the lighter side

I  kid you not...

 
anti-diuretic! 

It is expected  to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the  bathroom during the night. 

The new  wine will be marketed as





PINO  MORE 


I  HEARD IT 

THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE 
  


I  just could not help it.

  




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