ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

An Excerpt From A Day In My Life: A Written Realization

Updated on February 7, 2021
Missy Smith profile image

Missy is a unique writer who enjoys inviting her readers into her thoughts through her poetry and other topics of discussion.  


A Long Winded Beginning Thought

Something happened today that probably hasn’t happened to me a lot yet; a few times, yes, but my awareness has definitely awakened today. I realized how fast time was moving. I mean, I really recognized the time slipping away from me. Lately, I have had thoughts about my daughter looking so grown up these days, and I realized my son started kindergarten yesterday, and today he is almost in the fourth grade. How did this happen?

Along with those thoughts, I have also realized my parents getting frailer through these last few years. My mom’s health is starting to take a toll on her body, and my dad is still going out every day to work, but he is getting so exhausted now. That all is understandable, considering my mom is sixty-six with diabetes, and my dad is seventy-one and still works circles around some twenty-year-olds.

Then, there is me. I’m tired but feel guilty for even thinking that way. Yes, I do help all I can with my parents, as my children and I have been here living with them for quite a long time now. I do my best to help out in any way I can so my children and myself will not feel like burdens. I help financially. I do the chores. I help them keep up with their bills and banking by paying them online and making sure they don’t overspend. Neither one knows a thing about using a computer. If something goes haywire, and they get messed up on something, I make the calls and take care of the problem for them. My dad likes to say I’m his secretary.

So, I do that, and also take care of my kids and all their needs; take and pick them up from school, take them to extracurricular activities they are involved in, make sure when we have breaks from school we have some family fun, all the while, I try to keep up with my writing, and continue with another career course that I started recently. All this with extreme fatigue myself, because of having the most aggravating chronic illness I believe there is; hypothyroidism. Honestly, I can’t seem to find the correct way to manage it yet. Nevertheless, I have some hope; they have finally decided I need an endocrine specialist instead of just coming in for six-month check-ups to see if the medicine I’m taking is working. Hypothyroidism is more complicated than that. Those who have it or know someone that has it can relate, I’m sure.

However, all that I just spoke about is fine. It’s a somewhat normal life, except for being extremely lonely. I have no close friends around, nor do I want them, because I have no time. Even so, that does make for a lonely life, doesn’t it?

An Explanation Into My Thoughts

So, I'm sitting outside on the back porch today. All these things I realized were happening, knowing my parents will not be here forever, knowing my children will inevitably grow up soon to leave me as well, and knowing all I have dreamed about for years now, is life for myself after this life. Well, it may not happen for me. Time may not be on my side.

I think about my dream to travel to Tuscany a lot, and I can see myself living out my life there. The question that came to my mind today and made me cry was; will I ever have the financial stability and the opportunity to travel and live where I want to one day before I get too old and find myself still stuck right where I sit? I didn't feel confident at all that I would make it there in this lifetime.

I was sitting watching my cats, and the scary cat lady scenario came up in my thoughts, and I felt this overwhelming sense of being alone one day, just these cats and me. You know, precisely like several cruel people that I have met in life predicted I would be. Namely, the hag who stole my fiancé away after eight years of giving all I had, the sad excuse for a human that would call me up on Sunday mornings, just so she could remind me how pathetic I was, and how she ran the show now. I'm just saying…I have moved through so many cruel and unnecessary realities in this life. I sigh with exhaustion thinking about them.

If you don’t mind, I’m not going to go there today because this is really about the sad realization of how time is getting away from me and being alone without having all my ducks in a row yet. Seeing as I’m in my middle forties, it’s just scary. Life can change in a blink of an eye. You can be blindsided and cheated by people you’ve trusted and loved the most. You can find yourself starting over more times than anyone would want to; this is my circumstance from forty-four years of life so far.

The End Is Still An Unanswered Question

How could this be my life? I ask myself this question all the time. How do I find strength to keep going, to keep a focus, to keep faith? Right at this moment, I really don’t know. All I do know is that I will keep hanging on by tying knots in my rope. And I will write poems to express my feelings, to share with others who will support me out of friendship not pity. Because I would like to make it very clear that I am not a constant pity party. I’m just one of the unlucky ones in life who always has to keep going and pray that when I am at the end of this life, that I will have finally found a peaceful contentment.


Do you feel sharing the sad moments of your life with others is therapeutic, or searching for pity?

See results

Is This Your Realization of Your Life?

My Name is "Nobody"

I realize I'm nobody

today. However, really,

I've known this anyway.

Why must I put myself

out, when all I've

ever gotten is a life

filled with doubt?

Who do I believe in

when I'm sitting with

these sad thoughts,

all alone?

I look up to the sky,

and out through the

trees, and my insides

want to scream "Jesus,

set me free!"

The turmoil I've had

to live with for so

many years; the

disappointing romances,

the failed life attempts.

I keep grasping at every

rope I can, and when one

breaks, I fall and fight

my way back up again.

I steadily try to shake off

all my doubts and fears, that

one day I will be left

all by myself here.

Day after day, I realize

my loneliness will

be the only one to

accompany me to

the grave after death.

Yes, one day, there

will be no more life

for me to try, and I

know the first question

I will ask God is WHY?

© 2016 Missy Smith


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)