- HubPages»
- Books, Literature, and Writing»
- Commercial & Creative Writing»
- Creative Writing»
- Humor Writing
An Irregular Wor(l)d: A Funny Bone is Humerus Part Two
A Funny Bone is Humerus
A couple of years back I wrote a short poem called "A Funny Bone is Humerus." It was all a play on words and compared the strange ways we use and attach words to things in the English language.
Because this poem goes along a similar path I think it appropriate that I add a tag and refer to "An Irregular Wor(l)d" as "A Funny Bone is Humerus Part Two."
I hope you find it even funnier than the original. That's assuming you even read the first one .. or even found it funny.
An Irregular Wor(l)d
By John Hansen © 2016
Why are boxing rings not round? I ponder,
And confused fighters told "Move to the corner!"
My closest relative's my father,
But a long way distant is known as farther.
Why do fish hang around in schools?
Who teaches them the golden rules?
And what about a herd of cattle,
Does this mean you can hear them rattle?
If a blue movie is rated "R",
Does that mean a smurf is not the star?
If parks are places that you play,
Do cars have fun when we're away?
One fish is fish, and more are too,
One sheep is sheep, and so are ewe.
One mouse is mouse, and two are mice,
So why is not two houses, hice?
One male is man, and two are men,
One female's woman, two women,
So if one person is a human,
It means that two should be humen.
If we strike gold or oil, we're rich,
But a strike in baseball is a bitch.
Travelling on a plane's a trip,
So is falling over and breaking your hip.
The World Wide Web has many sites,
And a unit of measure is called a bite.
The world called Earth has many sights,
And bugs, and nasty things that bight.
This poem is full of many puns,
But please don't point those nasty guns.
I know bad jokes are not the trend,
So, I'll bring this one to an end.
© 2016 John Hansen
Comments
- Author
It is nice to hear this poem brightened your day Shyron. Yes, we certainly have a funny language.
John, I love your funny way with words
where almost everything is absurd
I also love our living language
when you can find humor in every phrase
and your beautiful grandkids busy at play
This really brightened my day
*
*
Blessings always my friend
- Author
Hey, Shauna. So glad you had a chuckle out of this hub. It was fun to write it. What a crazy language we have.
I love it, John. You make "humerus" the many inconsistencies of the English language. I particularly got a chuckle out of "hice".
- Author
Thanks for reading Lawrence. Glad this brightened the day for you.
John
An enjoyable little poem to brighten the otherwise dreary winters morning.
Thank you
Lawrence
- Author
Thank you , Ann. I am glad this appealed to you. I thought you would appreciate it.
I do remember your first one and I remember finding it funny. This is another great play on words, something I find fascinating. Well done, John!
Ann
- Author
Haha, thanks Deb. I never know what my mind is going to come up with next. It's good to be surprised. :)
That was very well thought out! Your puns are marvelous, and you have a mind that won't quit.
- Author
Thank you, Dianna. Hope you are having a great weekend too.
This is wonderful therapy. Humen. That is a good question. Enjoy your weekend, Jodah.
- Author
It must be "puny" MsDora. Sounds good anyway. Thanks for reading and your kind comment.
Full of fun is funny; so is full of puns punny or punsy? Whatever it is, you did a great job, Jodah.
- Author
Thanks Mike. Glad this gave you a laugh. Yes, I have to admit to being a huge fan of "Black Books." It was, one of those shows you either love or hate but appeals to my sense of humour.
Hello John, Clever and funny. You are a busy man. I see you are a fan of Black Books, I have seen a couple of episodes and found it could be hysterical.
Have a good week.
- Author
Hey, Al. Glad you enjoyed this and got a laugh. You have a great day too.
- Author
Thank you for reading this Jo. Have a wonderful day.
John, u hit my funny bone with this one. What a cool play on words, ha, ha, ha.
I needed a giggle this morning. Thank you, John.
- Author
Thanks for that cute little rhyme, Shyron. Good night.
Jodah, I love this, I would write a poem or pun, but I think my muse just went to sleep and am not even in the bed, so I will just say good night instead.
Blessings my friend.
- Author
Who, me? Nah! Thanks Missy.
So clever. I loved it, and I loved the pictures of your sweet grandchildren. I bet they love these cute funny poems of yours. You are a true talent, John, but you know this already, right? (wink) :)
- Author
Hi Linda, yes it is fun. Glad you enjoyed this poem to brighten your day.
- Author
Thank you so much, Devika.
- Author
Hey, Ruby..yes English is a crazy language. Couldn't resist using my grand children's pics.
- Author
Thank you, Manatita. Much appreciated.
- Author
Haha Clive, gotta love those smurfs.
- Author
Thank you, Tim. We all need a bit of a laugh to start the day off right. Hope you had a good one.
Oh Jodah, this was so much fun. I love word games--the punnier the better. Is it any wonder that the English language is so befuddling? Thank you for a day-brightener and mood-lifter.
Awesome! The photos are stunning and you made me laugh.
I like your play on funny words. There's no wonder why non-English speaking people find it so difficult, one word can have several meanings. I loved the photos of your grandchildren!!!
Funny and beautiful at the same time. Clever work! Exquisite!
Jodah, i will be watching a blue movie later........staring the smurfs..(:-)
Needed a bit of humor today. Gleefully found it through my email announcement . . .
- Author
Thank you, Larry. Cheers.
- Author
Hey, Faith. Glad this poem got you laughing. Yes, my grands think I am silly...lol. Blessings back at ya.
Great fun!
Hahaha, what a delight and fun read this morning, John! You certainly have a great sense of humor and have creatively intertwined both into this funny play on words poetry.
I know your grands all love your funny sense of humor. So cute.
Peace and blessings this lovely Sunday to you and yours
Good on ya mate (of course said in the tone of congratulation)
- Author
Hey, Eric. We need to look at the lighter side of life whenever we can. I wrote this as a bit of fun, and glad you found it so. I am quite proud of The Creative Exiles and appreciate you visiting there as well.
Yahoo! What fun this is. My grandma taught me to comb my hairs. You just did a marvelous job here. Our words can bring happiness, joy and humor - you sure did with your poem.
Side note: I love visiting creativeexiles.com thanks for setting it up.
- Author
That is a good question, Flourish :) Yeah, I thought I'd add some cute grandkid pics to help the hub.
- Author
Hey Frank, glad you got some laughs out of this poem. Thanks for the "awesome" comment :)
Why are there blue movies but red light districts? You pointed out a lot of irregularities in a fun way and your grandkids are adorable.
my God this was good... the poem was a true side splitter.. awesome Jodah.. just awesome :)
- Author
Thank you, Suraj. Hopefully there will be a part three down the track.
Funny poem! looking forward to part 3! Keep up the great work, sir!
- Author
Thank you, Rochelle. Glad you found it funny. I much appreciate your comment.
I love your funny punny poem. You are right about the peculiar English language. I think it is partly because it comes from so many other sources. I wrote a hub in a similar vane.. er, vein... where The Words Sound Write What's the Madder?
51