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An Irregular Wor(l)d: A Funny Bone is Humerus Part Two

Updated on June 11, 2016
Jodah profile image

John values the use of humour and enjoys writing and reading limericks and jokes. He is a fan of Monty Python, Mr Bean, Black Books etc.

My grandpa is so funny
My grandpa is so funny | Source
A Funny Bone is Humerus
A Funny Bone is Humerus

A Funny Bone is Humerus

A couple of years back I wrote a short poem called "A Funny Bone is Humerus." It was all a play on words and compared the strange ways we use and attach words to things in the English language.

Because this poem goes along a similar path I think it appropriate that I add a tag and refer to "An Irregular Wor(l)d" as "A Funny Bone is Humerus Part Two."

I hope you find it even funnier than the original. That's assuming you even read the first one .. or even found it funny.

Pa John is so funny!
Pa John is so funny! | Source

An Irregular Wor(l)d

By John Hansen © 2016


Why are boxing rings not round? I ponder,

And confused fighters told "Move to the corner!"

My closest relative's my father,

But a long way distant is known as farther.


Why do fish hang around in schools?

Who teaches them the golden rules?

And what about a herd of cattle,

Does this mean you can hear them rattle?

Hahaha!
Hahaha! | Source

If a blue movie is rated "R",

Does that mean a smurf is not the star?

If parks are places that you play,

Do cars have fun when we're away?


One fish is fish, and more are too,

One sheep is sheep, and so are ewe.

One mouse is mouse, and two are mice,

So why is not two houses, hice?

Giggle giggle.
Giggle giggle. | Source

One male is man, and two are men,

One female's woman, two women,

So if one person is a human,

It means that two should be humen.


If we strike gold or oil, we're rich,

But a strike in baseball is a bitch.

Travelling on a plane's a trip,

So is falling over and breaking your hip.

Don't make me laugh.
Don't make me laugh. | Source

The World Wide Web has many sites,

And a unit of measure is called a bite.

The world called Earth has many sights,

And bugs, and nasty things that bight.


This poem is full of many puns,

But please don't point those nasty guns.

I know bad jokes are not the trend,

So, I'll bring this one to an end.


© 2016 John Hansen

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    • Rochelle Frank profile image

      Rochelle Frank 11 months ago from California Gold Country

      I love your funny punny poem. You are right about the peculiar English language. I think it is partly because it comes from so many other sources. I wrote a hub in a similar vane.. er, vein... where The Words Sound Write What's the Madder?

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 11 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you, Rochelle. Glad you found it funny. I much appreciate your comment.

    • suraj punjabi profile image

      suraj punjabi 11 months ago from jakarta

      Funny poem! looking forward to part 3! Keep up the great work, sir!

    • Jodah profile image
      Author

      John Hansen 11 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you, Suraj. Hopefully there will be a part three down the track.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 11 months ago from Shelton

      my God this was good... the poem was a true side splitter.. awesome Jodah.. just awesome :)

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 11 months ago from USA

      Why are there blue movies but red light districts? You pointed out a lot of irregularities in a fun way and your grandkids are adorable.

    • Jodah profile image
      Author

      John Hansen 11 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Hey Frank, glad you got some laughs out of this poem. Thanks for the "awesome" comment :)

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 11 months ago from Queensland Australia

      That is a good question, Flourish :) Yeah, I thought I'd add some cute grandkid pics to help the hub.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 11 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Yahoo! What fun this is. My grandma taught me to comb my hairs. You just did a marvelous job here. Our words can bring happiness, joy and humor - you sure did with your poem.

      Side note: I love visiting creativeexiles.com thanks for setting it up.

    • Jodah profile image
      Author

      John Hansen 11 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Hey, Eric. We need to look at the lighter side of life whenever we can. I wrote this as a bit of fun, and glad you found it so. I am quite proud of The Creative Exiles and appreciate you visiting there as well.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 11 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Good on ya mate (of course said in the tone of congratulation)

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 11 months ago from southern USA

      Hahaha, what a delight and fun read this morning, John! You certainly have a great sense of humor and have creatively intertwined both into this funny play on words poetry.

      I know your grands all love your funny sense of humor. So cute.

      Peace and blessings this lovely Sunday to you and yours

    • Larry Rankin profile image

      Larry Rankin 11 months ago from Oklahoma

      Great fun!

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 11 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Hey, Faith. Glad this poem got you laughing. Yes, my grands think I am silly...lol. Blessings back at ya.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 11 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you, Larry. Cheers.

    • tsmog profile image

      Tim Mitchell 11 months ago from Escondido, CA

      Needed a bit of humor today. Gleefully found it through my email announcement . . .

    • clivewilliams profile image

      Clive Williams 11 months ago from Nibiru

      Jodah, i will be watching a blue movie later........staring the smurfs..(:-)

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 11 months ago from london

      Funny and beautiful at the same time. Clever work! Exquisite!

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 11 months ago from Southern Illinois

      I like your play on funny words. There's no wonder why non-English speaking people find it so difficult, one word can have several meanings. I loved the photos of your grandchildren!!!

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 11 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Awesome! The photos are stunning and you made me laugh.

    • Carb Diva profile image

      Linda Lum 11 months ago from Washington State, USA

      Oh Jodah, this was so much fun. I love word games--the punnier the better. Is it any wonder that the English language is so befuddling? Thank you for a day-brightener and mood-lifter.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 11 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you, Tim. We all need a bit of a laugh to start the day off right. Hope you had a good one.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 11 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Haha Clive, gotta love those smurfs.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 11 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you, Manatita. Much appreciated.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 11 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Hey, Ruby..yes English is a crazy language. Couldn't resist using my grand children's pics.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 11 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you so much, Devika.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 11 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Hi Linda, yes it is fun. Glad you enjoyed this poem to brighten your day.

    • Missy Smith profile image

      Missy Smith 11 months ago from Florida

      So clever. I loved it, and I loved the pictures of your sweet grandchildren. I bet they love these cute funny poems of yours. You are a true talent, John, but you know this already, right? (wink) :)

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 11 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Who, me? Nah! Thanks Missy.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 11 months ago from Texas

      Jodah, I love this, I would write a poem or pun, but I think my muse just went to sleep and am not even in the bed, so I will just say good night instead.

      Blessings my friend.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 11 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Thanks for that cute little rhyme, Shyron. Good night.

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 11 months ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      I needed a giggle this morning. Thank you, John.

    • word55 profile image

      Word 11 months ago from Chicago

      John, u hit my funny bone with this one. What a cool play on words, ha, ha, ha.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 11 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you for reading this Jo. Have a wonderful day.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 11 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Hey, Al. Glad you enjoyed this and got a laugh. You have a great day too.

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 11 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello John, Clever and funny. You are a busy man. I see you are a fan of Black Books, I have seen a couple of episodes and found it could be hysterical.

      Have a good week.

    • Jodah profile image
      Author

      John Hansen 11 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Thanks Mike. Glad this gave you a laugh. Yes, I have to admit to being a huge fan of "Black Books." It was, one of those shows you either love or hate but appeals to my sense of humour.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Full of fun is funny; so is full of puns punny or punsy? Whatever it is, you did a great job, Jodah.

    • Jodah profile image
      Author

      John Hansen 11 months ago from Queensland Australia

      It must be "puny" MsDora. Sounds good anyway. Thanks for reading and your kind comment.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 11 months ago

      This is wonderful therapy. Humen. That is a good question. Enjoy your weekend, Jodah.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 11 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you, Dianna. Hope you are having a great weekend too.

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 11 months ago from Stillwater, OK

      That was very well thought out! Your puns are marvelous, and you have a mind that won't quit.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 11 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Haha, thanks Deb. I never know what my mind is going to come up with next. It's good to be surprised. :)

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 10 months ago from SW England

      I do remember your first one and I remember finding it funny. This is another great play on words, something I find fascinating. Well done, John!

      Ann

    • Jodah profile image
      Author

      John Hansen 10 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you , Ann. I am glad this appealed to you. I thought you would appreciate it.

    • lawrence01 profile image

      Lawrence Hebb 10 months ago from Hamilton, New Zealand

      John

      An enjoyable little poem to brighten the otherwise dreary winters morning.

      Thank you

      Lawrence

    • Jodah profile image
      Author

      John Hansen 10 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Thanks for reading Lawrence. Glad this brightened the day for you.

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 10 months ago from Central Florida

      I love it, John. You make "humerus" the many inconsistencies of the English language. I particularly got a chuckle out of "hice".

    • Jodah profile image
      Author

      John Hansen 10 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Hey, Shauna. So glad you had a chuckle out of this hub. It was fun to write it. What a crazy language we have.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 2 months ago from Texas

      John, I love your funny way with words

      where almost everything is absurd

      I also love our living language

      when you can find humor in every phrase

      and your beautiful grandkids busy at play

      This really brightened my day

      *

      *

      Blessings always my friend

    • Jodah profile image
      Author

      John Hansen 2 months ago from Queensland Australia

      It is nice to hear this poem brightened your day Shyron. Yes, we certainly have a funny language.

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