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An Ode to Stephen Colbert

Updated on January 4, 2012
Stephen Colbert with his book "I Am America"
Stephen Colbert with his book "I Am America"

I wrote this poem for the Stephen Colbert Poetry Contest. (The contest turned out to be a vanity press scam. Man!)

Since Colbert thinks he's the center of the universe, I penned a parody of Shakespeare's "All the world's a stage." Enjoy!

All the World is Colbert's Stage

All the world is Colbert’s stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
Others have their petty exits and entrances,
But Stephen in his time has played many parts,

His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant,
Mewling and puking in his siblings’ arms.
Then the Charleston schoolboy, with his satchel
And rosy morning face, creeping like a snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the teen,
Fronting a Rolling Stones cover band,
Made to attract the ladies. Then a young man,

Full of philosophy and pursuing his destiny,
Robust with honor, sudden and quick to improv,
Building his mighty reputation
In the Second City. And then the Strangers,
Their round bellies with sweet candy lined,
With morals to live by, the truth uncut,
Full of wise words and modern instances;

And so he played his part. The sixth age shifted
Into the lean and chiseled pundit,
With spectacles on his nose and truthiness on his side;
His youthful energy not spared, the world not wide
Enough for his intellect, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble of pundits
Less informed. And the scene of the present,
That carries on this bold, eventful history,
With both glorious wisdom and heightened oblivion,
He sees, he hears, he filters, everything.


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    • SantaCruz profile image

      SantaCruz 5 years ago from Santa Cruz, CA

      I am listening to Mr. Colbert right now as I write! The orangutans "training for terrorism" with iPads is a classic bit...

      Thanks for the comment, Bob! I'll check out your Colbert hub too :).

    • Bob Zermop profile image

      Bob Zermop 5 years ago from California, USA

      Hahaha, I love Stephen Colbert. Routed myself here from a hub I published about him; he's pretty incredible!

    • SantaCruz profile image

      SantaCruz 5 years ago from Santa Cruz, CA

      More Shakespeare parodies? I need to check you out. Thanks for the comment!

    • recappers delight profile image

      recappers delight 5 years ago

      Hey, this is pretty cool. I love Steven Colbert. I am going to link this because those of us with the temerity to parody Shakespeare need to stick together.