Ant Hunting We Will Go
Gotcha Now
My eyes aren't even open and what do I see
Yes it's an ant to greet me
Good morning sir I hear in a soft voice
I look down and frown
Ants don't talk I quickly think
Then again I have seen alot of crazy things in my life
So why not
A good morning to you my little insect enemy
Now is that any way to greet a friend
A friend huh
You are an insect and why would ever think we are friends
You like to read right ?
Yeah
You have many books ?
I like to read
I have read all your books
What !!!!
First you are an ant
Second you can't talk
Third you now say you are my friend
Fourth you say you can read and have read all my books
I am puzzled but for curiosities sake tell me more
You have many friends
Old school friends,college,work,family the list goes on
Yeah so
But with all your friends how many have read any of your books that you have bought
No one
You say you love books and the reason why you love books because they teach us what we don't already know
Yes, how did you know that
Because I listen to you day after day
You only talk about books every day for the past thirty six years
What !!!
Will you stop doing that
If we are going to talk we have to have some ground rules
Now I have seen everything
An ant with an attitude
Well somebody has to tell you how life is
What do you mean ?
After reading all your books have you ever read one on ants
No
Why would I ?
Well if you did you would know ants are smart
Really smart
Then you would also know I am your friend
Now before you go out and buy new ant traps and put them in the bathroom
The old ones work just fine
Think again
You have wiped out half my family and most of my friends
I am willing to put the past behind us and let bigones be bigones
But we have to begin fresh
First we have to start talking man to ant
I perfer to be called Stan
I might just be loosing my mind
But since you caught me at a weak moment I will follow along with you for the moment
So Stan
Yes
You have said many things that are true
Yes I know
You have given me a reason to think
Yes I also know that
Can I talk Stan says with a very firm voice
We can go back and forth for hours and have lots of idle chit chat
But time is money and I have lots of things to do
This can all wait for later but now I have to make my breakfast
So I will talk to you in about an hour
I will meet you back here again
Now if I was you I wouldn't tell anyone
They might think you are a little off your rocker
But it is up to you ?
I would be the last ant to tell you what to do
Hhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmm
After a long pause
Here I am talking to an ant and now the it is blowing me off
Because it is busy
I guess what do I have to lose
Sir my name is Stan I don't like being called an it
O.k.sorry Stan
We have a deal
Yes
As I get up to leave
Stan says hey, aren't we forgetting something
What ?
The ant traps ?
I reach down and grab and pick them up slowly
My wife will never believe this
I told you this can be our little secret
As I scratch my head for the eigth time in the past fifteen minutes
I walk out of the room
Hey. hey Stan yells back
What now ?
Could you please shut the door it is early in the morning and my wife is trying to sleep
Scratching my head again
I definitely need to be on medicine
What medicine I don't know
Something to calm me down
No
Something to make me believe ants don't talk
mmmmmmm
I know I am going back to bed and going back to forget this dream that is still in my head