Ant Hunting We Will Go

My eyes aren't even open and what do I see

Yes it's an ant to greet me

Good morning sir I hear in a soft voice

I look down and frown

Ants don't talk I quickly think

Then again I have seen alot of crazy things in my life

So why not

A good morning to you my little insect enemy

Now is that any way to greet a friend

A friend huh

You are an insect and why would ever think we are friends

You like to read right ?

Yeah

You have many books ?

I like to read

I have read all your books

What !!!!

First you are an ant

Second you can't talk

Third you now say you are my friend

Fourth you say you can read and have read all my books

I am puzzled but for curiosities sake tell me more

You have many friends

Old school friends,college,work,family the list goes on

Yeah so

But with all your friends how many have read any of your books that you have bought

No one

You say you love books and the reason why you love books because they teach us what we don't already know

Yes, how did you know that

Because I listen to you day after day

You only talk about books every day for the past thirty six years

What !!!

Will you stop doing that

If we are going to talk we have to have some ground rules

Now I have seen everything

An ant with an attitude

Well somebody has to tell you how life is

What do you mean ?

After reading all your books have you ever read one on ants

No

Why would I ?

Well if you did you would know ants are smart

Really smart

Then you would also know I am your friend

Now before you go out and buy new ant traps and put them in the bathroom

The old ones work just fine

Think again

You have wiped out half my family and most of my friends

I am willing to put the past behind us and let bigones be bigones

But we have to begin fresh

First we have to start talking man to ant

I perfer to be called Stan

I might just be loosing my mind

But since you caught me at a weak moment I will follow along with you for the moment

So Stan

Yes

You have said many things that are true

Yes I know

You have given me a reason to think

Yes I also know that

Can I talk Stan says with a very firm voice

We can go back and forth for hours and have lots of idle chit chat

But time is money and I have lots of things to do

This can all wait for later but now I have to make my breakfast

So I will talk to you in about an hour

I will meet you back here again

Now if I was you I wouldn't tell anyone

They might think you are a little off your rocker

But it is up to you ?

I would be the last ant to tell you what to do

Hhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmm

After a long pause

Here I am talking to an ant and now the it is blowing me off

Because it is busy

I guess what do I have to lose

Sir my name is Stan I don't like being called an it

O.k.sorry Stan

We have a deal

Yes

As I get up to leave

Stan says hey, aren't we forgetting something

What ?

The ant traps ?

I reach down and grab and pick them up slowly

My wife will never believe this

I told you this can be our little secret

As I scratch my head for the eigth time in the past fifteen minutes

I walk out of the room

Hey. hey Stan yells back

What now ?

Could you please shut the door it is early in the morning and my wife is trying to sleep

Scratching my head again

I definitely need to be on medicine

What medicine I don't know

Something to calm me down

No

Something to make me believe ants don't talk

mmmmmmm

I know I am going back to bed and going back to forget this dream that is still in my head