Are you? Are you?
“One question Ai?”she asked me smiling
“Fire away!” I replied while writing
“Are you gay?” She looked into my eyes waiting for an answer
I did not utter a sound, removed my glasses and gazed at her
“Why do you ask?”
“I just want to know if you're wearing a mask.”
“Do you think I'm wearing one as a disguise?”
“I'm not sure, a quick look at you wouldn't suffice”
I smiled and slowly chuckle, then I tap her shoulders
“Are you gay?” Abruptly I asked
She smiled and gently spoke
“Not sure if I am” the she gulped her tea! For a second I think she choke
We shared a good laugh for a few minutes
I started to talk while she turns off the office music
“I'm a woman” I answered looking at her eyes
“I'm a woman” I repeat but I heard no reply
“Very well.” She said playing with her hair
I thought we are done so I went back in checking my mails
But then she spoke again with a curious stare
“You fell for a woman before, doesn't that make you gay?”
I smiled and asked her back “You had veggies for lunch right?”
Puzzled with my question she answered “Yes, it's good for my eyesight!”
“Good, does that make you a vegetarian?” I asked smiling
“What you did in the past won't define who you are, it's by what you choose to be after” I told her ignoring the phone ringing
“How can you say you're a changed person? How can you tell?”
Oh! Her questions! Questions I know so well
I grew up with those questions, hearing them makes my ears swell
My struggles are real and gut-wrenching, like war drums inside me that I had to repel
“Do you really want to know the answer?”
“Do you want to hear about the struggles?”
“Do you think you would want to hear a story of a never ending battle?”
“Do you want to know how it feels to surrender?”
“Sometimes when you want something so bad
You tend to forget the good from the bad”
“Sometimes you can turn into someone mad
Mad about love that you forget who you are and just go with the crowd.”
“Do you know how it feels to be confused?
Do you know how it feels to be lost and used?”
“Do you know the power of pain over hate?
Do you know that to be whole you had to break?”
“I don't understand.” She said frowning
I smiled “That’s ok. Understanding is different from knowing.”
“Don't be confused with this worlds mysteries
Don't be too focused with the Devils trickery”
“You have your own identity with Christ my friend
Don't let the devil use your curiosity for a tragic end”
“Stand for what is right and true
Don’t be confused with something untrue.”
IreneTabangay
