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At Your Memorial
At the Cemetery~ a piece for you
I watch your brother struggle to read his letter to you. I can't blame him for having a hard time reading to someone that isn't there. Someone that he can't be sure will hear his words even though they mean the world and are from the very bottom of his heart. I see your oldest sister hiding under those big sunglasses. I know she's crying, everyone does. So when your brother turns to her for her to read the now folded up paper damp with tears in her hand, she just shakes her head no, and he understands. She can't. It hurts too much. It would be too much to hold back tears so everyone can hear what she had to say to you, even though you may not be able to listen now. Your little sister stands in the circle with your family and friends listening to your brother's concluding speech. She hides behind sunglasses too, but you see the soft tears running down her cheek. She seems so calm. Her new boyfriend has his arm around her waist. I can't help but cringe at the sight of your baby sister, that isn't a baby anymore, potentially ready to have her heart broken. I wish you were here for her sake. Your other sister, stands firm by your mom, without tears both of them listen and ponder and miss you. The strong two, are the two that miss you deeply every day. We all miss you deeply every day. They smile though, as the balloons are released in your honor. Maybe they're thinking as an angel you'll see them and get all the little messages and last words and wishes and memories attached to their strings as they float by you in the clouds. One can only hope that's the way it happens. I only wish I could be so positive. I feel as though you watch over me, but I still know you're not there anymore. I'll talk to you when I'm by myself. I cry to you whenever my heart starts to ache. I miss you all the time, every second of every day and every night. At first I had so many questions, some are still lingering in my head. Then I was angry, not at you, but at myself for letting you leave. For never telling you the things I felt or had left to say. Now I spend most of my time remembering you, and loving you more than I ever have before. Ironic isn't it? How things don't quite come into perspective until they're out of reach. I think it's funny how often I turn to you now when you can't actually answer my questions and give me your infamous advice. You still guide me in the best direction. What would he do? I repeat in my head when imp in a tough spot. And you always come through. Angel or no angel, you're still watching over me and them, and all of us like you always have. I just wish we were watching more closely over you. The ceremony ends when the balloons are almost out of sight and the last words of the song ring..."don't worry, about a thing, every little thing, is gonna be alright"~ Bob Marley.