Be Mine Again

It's like me to always give you the surprise calls every once in a while , even when I know you are busy just to remind you that I love you.
It's like me to always text you when I think I should just to check up on you, make sure you okay.
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I know sometimes it seems like am stubborn or just annoying ,but what can I say, I just love you that much and am always thinking about you.
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I don't actually remember the last time I was this stubborn or overprotective... Or paranoid.. Or crazy.. Or insecure .
.
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But lately it's not as fun as it used to be.
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Gone are the days you'd pick those phone calls and say " am on my way home " or text me back with " see you in a few minutes. "

Gone are those days when I couldn't go a day without seeing you, lately I have to even stay for weeks without seeing you.

Gone are those days you'd call me late at night just to say goodnight.
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Gone are those days I didn't have to pretend to be smiling, now it's become a habit , a mask I put on as soon as I lock the front door.
. And I am trying to be okay , hoping that tonight will be different. Hoping that tonight I'll call you and you'll pick up and say that you miss me like I miss you.
Hoping that you'll surprise me so that I won't be sobbing on my pillows yet again.
Hoping that you'll come back to me and set my heart ablaze again..
. Hoping that I'll unscrew this fake smile and be happy for real because my jaws are getting tired.
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Hoping that you'll say you love me back.
Hoping that you'll be mine again.
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.. Inkmade. ™