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Baseball Jokes for a New Season

Updated on April 22, 2011

Living near the Washington Nationals you don't get much exciting baseball action, other baseball action is needed.

So I thought I'd hunt up some baseball jokes (no, not the Nats) and list out my favorites.

Hope you like them!

Sox or Cubs?

Two boys are playing hockey in suburban Chicago when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick and wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A reporter who is walking past sees what happened and rushes over to the boy. "Young White Sox Fan Saves Friend from Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook.

"But I'm not a Sox fan," the little hero replied.

"Sorry, since we are in Chicago, I just assumed you were," said the reporter, and he began writing again.

"Cubs Fan Rescues Friends from Horrific Attack," he continued writing in his notebook.

"I'm not a Cubs fan either," the boy said.

"I assumed everyone in Chicago was either for the Cubs or the Sox. What team do you root for?" inquired the reporter. "I'm a Yankees fan," the child responded.

The reporter turned the page in his notebook and wrote "Little Bastard from New York Kills Beloved Family Pet."

The Right Place For Them

The Devil and the Lord decided to have a game of baseball.

Smiling, God said, "You have no chance, I've got Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, and all the greatest players up here."

"So?", said the devil, "I have all the umpires!"

So Cruel!

A Boston woman got more and more frustrated with her husband taking her for granted. One day, after he simply came home, sat on the couch and turned the game she snapped and screamed "You love the Red Sox more than you love me!"

He turned to her and shouted "I love the Yankees more than I love you!"

Not Known For Their Intelligence...

A White Sox fan, a boy scout and a priest are all on airplane.

The pilot comes on over the speakers and says he`s got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that the plane is about to crash. The good news is that there are three parachutes but that does mean one person doesn't have a parachute.

The pilot grabs one saying “I have to explain what went wrong” and jumps.

The White Sox fan grabs one and says "We might win the World Series this year!" and jumps.

The priest looks at the boy scout and says “you take the last one my son, don't worry about me”.

The boy replies “We can each have one. That White Sox fan stole my backpack!”

Going For Greatness

A little boy was playing baseball with himself in the backyard.

"I'm the greatest hitter in the world," he announce to himself.

He tossed the ball into the air, swung at it, and missed.

"Strike One!" he yelled. He picked up the ball and said again,"I'm the greatest hitter in the world!"

He tossed the ball into the air. When it came down he swung again and missed.

"Strike Two!" he cried.

The boy then paused a moment to examine his bat and ball carefully.

He spit on his hands and rubbed them together. He straightened his cap and said once more, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!"

Again he tossed the ball up in the air and swung at it. He missed.

"Strike Three!"

"Wow!" he exclaimed. "I'm the greatest pitcher in the world!"

Know Any Baseball Jokes?

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