Beacon on the Porch

We sit together on the porch; the front door is closed but the Victorian style windows lay unclosed. We sit together on the wicker bench, its old and creaking from age, the ends are fraying outward. Every now and then we glance at each other and possibly have the same thought. What should I do? Should I make the move first?

I have only known you for a while, yet I find myself here drawn to your warmth like a moth to the flame. At times they can escape, but there are times where luck is not on their side. I look behind me and see your parents carefully watching us, watching too closely for my own comfort. My own father has yet to even know about you. Why is it that when our parents were young they were more reckless than us and could date even before our age? When I ask they reply it was just the times, or they will say, we were young and foolish. Must we at all times be perfect in the eyes of society? Again I look at you and wonder what drew me to you. You’re tall and well built, your skin is tanned but not burnt, your hair is a soft mass of black hair, and your eyes are the perfect shade of hazel. That’s it! How silly of me not to notice how I am drawn to your eyes. Your eyes are like a beacon to me. Like a lighthouse guiding ships safely home and away from danger. But there is a danger about you too. I think to myself as I gaze at you with a smile and then duck my head from shyness. You don’t appear shy, but I know you are. I am your first and you are mine, what a happy moment that is for me. But what is it that makes you seem dangerous? Could it be your size, your tone of voice, your unnerving stare, or the fact that you hardly speak at all. I am amazed at how intelligent you are, and yet you do not speak. Your poetry is moving as is your music; it seems your hands speak for you.

I look out into the darkening sky and wonder to myself. Where did the time go? The sky turns from a pale blue to a dark navy blue with a hint of purple. The air chills only slightly, letting you know that nighttime will be arriving shortly. Time, that is something I fear I do not have enough of to show you the real me. To me you appear confident in whom you are, yet I hide from society behind a veil of black. I could always wear skimpy shorts, a tight tank that exposes my breasts to the world, tease my hair, wear layers of make-up because I am insecure, and puff myself up though I am under confident and lacking self-esteem. Will you accept me for who I am? Or will you throw me away like all the others? I think bitterly, but then something warm on my hand causes all negative thoughts to come to an abrupt end. I look down to my right hand and see yours barely touching it. You were asking a silent permission to hold my hand. I look into your brilliant hazel green eyes and can only think one thing as I smile.

How can I refuse you? Slowly we entwine our hands and we are each enveloped in warmth that causes us both to smile. But in that moment not only did our hands entwine, but our hearts too became entwined.

To hell with society and to hell with what people will say. I want to be with you! I’ll ignore the stares and laugh at the girls as they make their snide remarks behind my back or to my face. I will hold my head up high and smile each day. Why would I do such a thing? Because right now I found my missing puzzle piece. For the first time in my life I will do what ‘I’ want to do, not what society expects of me to do. And it all began on the old porch of your parent house.

This short short story I wrote during my second year of college. I was nervous because I have never really let anyone else aside from my family and very close friends read my work. This is about the first time Josh and I sat together at his house. I was kind of a punk back then so my hair was long, black, and just about always covered half my face. I remember that day as if It only happened a while ago. The white wicker bench we sat on and the calculating gaze he always wore. I have placed this for the world to see and to honor the 8 years I have been with this boy turned amazing man. God has blessed me with the perfect missing half of my life. Without him and god I would be lost. So that is why he is the Beacon on the Porch.