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...Being Available to Yourself...

Updated on June 10, 2011

...When Time Becomes Illusion...

Yesterday I had to take my son to the doctor out of town and figure out what his issues were there. That whole trip re-arranged the whole day. It was hot and sticky and frustrating later in the day when I sat down to try to type a blog. (Another reason first thing of the day blogs will be integral as I am practicing daily writing habits)

I am glad there is nothing too insane wrong with him, but as I mentioned in my late night post, all of this medical and internal stuff is starting to really change my priorities on what I do and who I do it with. I have gotten to the point where Time is an Illusion and my "Time" with people who aren't willing to reciprocate my high levels of enthusiastic and infectious energy is either sliced down to a fraction of my attention or removed completely. I have no worries that this is selfish or egotistical, because I am ultimately taking care of myself, and the people who truly need me and appreciate me. Time is an illusion and the "time" that we "think" we have, we DO NOT. (You don't even have to agree with me, and I don't need to be right, it's purely how I feel at this moment) I believe if we do not make ourselves available to ourselves the same way we do for others, that we cannot operate on a optimal level of assistance and awareness.

...Where Do We Go From Here...

A transformation then ends, and another begins. I am holding on tight because I know my capacity to become complacent and let all these things slide back down, settle back into the silt of the ocean of myself. They fall back to sleep and I say months from now, "Oh remember I wanted to fine tune my chakras? Oh what about studying ancient Egypt? Oh what about that painting?" The prioritization that steps in when mortality is threatened re-arranges everything. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT? People. The people we love, and who love us. Who shows us? Who tells us? What about the children who never get told? Our spouses, ourselves...its such a simple statement that holds an intimidating power some are unwilling to wield. "Time" and "Opportunity" shows us it can slam shut any moment.

Interesting questions arise in my life - "What if we have predetermined the events, the major ones, where do we go from here?" What about those people we thought would be there and love us forever? Those people who we thought we loved but had no idea that what we felt was far and distilled from that? Those who thought they loved us? Those who used us? Where does all that go...does it truly fall away when we transform? All of these questions do not require answers, only thought...which in turn is "things" that run around like untamed children...if we let them...

...Being Grateful...

So many things I have read focus on "The Attitude of Gratitude" and as I write that, there is a gentle cooing sound outside the window that only happens at this time of year, in the trees in the shade before the sun becomes too hot. This cooing bird I cannot see, but it is a mellow smooth song of early summer that takes me to a place of gratitude, for a sound that is recognized every year of my life here.

I am grateful for the ability to write, and grateful for those who come to read. I am grateful for the knowledge that sometimes what I write positively affects even just one person who takes the time to let me know it, and it is those very special and heartfelt comments that allow me to believe that this is something that I decided I would do "before I came here"...Whether or not you believe in the "Herebefore" or "Hereafter" I am still going to be here, doing this...grateful.

Thank you for reading - and now I will journal and see what comes of that as I move forward into listening for clues...Whispers...that will enhance and lead me to the next level of development in my investigations on how the energy centers are important portals into the health and maintenance of the mortal and spiritual body...

Until Next Time...



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  • profile image

    S.A.Hussey 6 years ago

    Predetermined events?? Hmmm, yeah I think the mainstay paths are predetermined. I say paths because everyone has free choice and it can always change. What happens to the old ones/choices...they are but a memory. If its something you want to resurrect it can be done; and, if you don't...let time fade it.

    I agree with you Carole. Too often we do for others and let what we want to do suffer. When we try it seems these others don't understand it - these needs we have. Juggling and multi-taksing seems to be the way of it lately. I applaud your determined daily efforts.

    Glad to hear all was good at the doctors.

  • Carole Anzolletti profile image

    Carole Anzolletti 6 years ago from The Phantom Queen's Labyrinth

    Thank you, and it is amazing how we know what we intuitively getting others to know the same...this is the are awesome, lady...Namaste'

  • Ddraigcoch profile image

    Emma 6 years ago from UK

    Firstly I hope your son is going to be okay. Secondly this hub sounds like you pulled it right out of my head. I get up at 6am, bed at midnight. Deal with 4 kids in between and work on line and get bitched at because I didn't get some thing done. Or annoyed with myself because I wanted to accomplish some thing I never got time for.

    Here is to life giving us some time of our own.