Back and Forth.
Being ostentatious Instead of being gracious
leaves you blank of mind,And a feeling being far behind
Catching up is a fraught laden task,Hazing your mind,is in itself a mask.
Confusing state of fear and trepidation,Carrying the worries of an entire nation.
Bounding from one pillar,to another post,Assessing who's worries needs the most.
Using up your energy,trying your brain,Helping all these others,what do I gain?
Never ending trials and tribulations,Awkward,uneasy,uncomfortable vibrations
Sleep pattern suffers,blood pressure rises,Stress comes in many different disguises.
How you cope is a measure of your steel,Not crashing and burning,expressing how you feel.
building character,building a bridge,keeping feelings in tact,not balancing on a ridge.
hitting the edge of a perilous drop,hoping you survive the inevitable stop.
if I rush and hurry to task out my day,I hope I can be nicer,of this i often pray.
i hope I take kindly to the initial hostility
not displaying at a glance my own fragility.
keeping feelings in tact,not giving out an emission
try teaching my fellow friends,in a life time tuition.
advise when it's needed,butt out when its not
judging it by eye,talent learned,not taught.
learning each day,taking it all in
try not being evil,only commit the occasional sin.
feelings confused,duly unsound.
taking advantage,sure your letting.
advice,good or bad
make you happy or sad
drive you up the wall
when you need to feel tall.
crashing a good time,crushing your thought
feelings not fake,happiness not bought.
shared love,shared hate,pretty close feelings
judge how you like,derive different meanings.
understand one minute,conflicting the next
brain gets a clean up,the muscle you flex.
affecting your sanity,affecting your breathing.
Face of steel.
Where to go now?
where do we go,from where did we come
poverty for me,lucrative for some.
plodding along on a shoestring purse
making ends meet,makes you feel worse.
fate holds a hand in all that we do
how your life turns out is not up to you.
we think we control the entirety of our life
the truth is worse,it cuts like a knife.
we try to control things we cannot keep in hand
flows through your fingers like a grain of sand.
just when you think things are getting much better
think again seriously,are things really much better?
Mental some days.
Clear of Mind.
If you had a chance ,of making life go a different way
what would it cost initially,what price would you pay?
would your conscience be in tact,would you sleep at night
wake up in a sweat,wake up with a fright.
I've seen people choose ,the wrong path to go
end up in the mire,end up with nothing to show.
then the shortcut doesn't look that great
Try to turn the clock back,realise your mistake
too late,too bad,your fault,nice try
seen a lot of friends upset,a lot of them cry.
always better to be honest,get a feeling of pride
then conscience is clear,you've nothing to hide.
Life is a learning curve.
over my short existence on this planet,ive done many things wrong,but hopefully ive done more right.Then I hope the scales of my life may swing to the good side more than the bad.I try to right a lot of past wrongs.Sometimes with a modicum of success,other times not so much success.its hard to get people to trust you if you've wronged them in some way.ive been wronged and I used to carry a grudge for a stupidly long time.ive wronged others,and quite possibly they still harbour ill feelings towards me.I hope this is changeable,I think I've changed over the years for the better.i try to better myself in anyway I can.i help whenever i can with family and friends problems. Sometimes I help ,sometimes I can't make a difference.The main thing is,I never stop trying,I think that's the key.
Funny thing happened.
a story springs to mind.when I was sixteen I thought I was the bees knees,one night I was going out drinking with friends,I was suited and booted.i thought I looked amazing.while walking down the hill round the corner from my home,the pavement was still shining from the coat of fresh snow that fell earlier that day.Two girls aged roughly the same as I was at the time seemed to be watching me.obviously I felt good and proceeded to put on a ridiculous swagger and stupid strutting walk,I looked ridiculous.But,the two girls kept watching.i thought my luck was in.i then made the mistake of speeding up and turning my head to see if they were still watching.i felt my left foot lift off the ground,followed by my right foot .I slipped ,and my whole body was thrown high in the air.I vaguely remember landing on my butt ,and hearing the girls laughter ringing in my ears.My face went bright red like a strawberry.i quickly got to my feet,and sped off as quickly as my feet would take me,away to nurse my wounded pride and ego.The lesson there is,it doesn't pay to be too confident.sometimes it backfires on you.
i can be clumsy,on occasion i fall
i feel like a muppet,feeling so small
not watching where I'm going,or distracted by things
fall over fresh air,hear peoples laughter as it rings.
feel a bit silly,we've all been there
it happens to me a lot,it's really not fair.
i need to pay more attention,wherever I walk
i can be very careful,then no one will talk.
Cheery and happy.
Who maintains my sanity?
Am I the full shilling,who's fault?
Lot of thought,sometimes I ramble.
i generally put lots of thought in to what I write,sometimes I feel i ramble on a bit ,most of the time it's from the heart.Being a writer is sometimes a strange experience.i go through phases where i can write for days,then I don't write for a few weeks. ideas mainly come when I go to bed,so I keep a notepad of sorts next to my bedside,I know if I don't write it down at the time it springs up,it will be lost forever.a lot of writers I speak to have the same process of thought.than goodness,I thought I was the only one that wrote in such an erratic fashion.