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50 Shades Of... Well...You Decide

Updated on January 15, 2015

Now That's Sexy...NOT

The 50 Shades of Grey book trilogy that has now become a movie that will be released on Valentine's Day 2015 has many waiting breathlessly to see it. It seems that even those who have read all three books in the series overlook the basis for the story line in favor of the sensationalism of the BDSM sex. Looking past the sex to the storyline, the main character is a man who is locked in mental and emotional torment. The background that molded him into the "lover" he is is far from sexy. In fact, it's very sad.


Christian Grey...Abused Orphan

Sadly, Greys' mother committed suicide when he was only four. The poor child was left in the apartment with her alone for four days, eating frozen peas out of the refrigerator and snuggling up to her dead body until the pimp finds them.Gray is then adopted by the emergency room physician who treats him hen he is brought in. He doesn't speak for a period of time and carries cigarette burn scars on his body.

Sexy....uh huh...sure...

Here's To You, Mrs Robinson

At the age of fifteen Christian Grey was "taken" to be a dominant (i.e. object of abuse for sexual gratification) by an adult, married, female. Fifteen is well below the age of consent and it legally considered sexual abuse of a child. One has to wonder If any of the fans of the book series were to find out that their own fifteen year old child were being used by an adult in this manner if they would still find it arousing and sexy. My guess is probably not.

The abuser rationalized that she was helping him deal with the anger of his mother's death and channel his emotions in a healthy manner. Yeah, lady, that's really healthy.This abuse continued for six years until the abusers husband discovered what was going on and beat her badly enough to put her in the hospital. This did not completely stop her though, she picked out Grey's victims for him. How thoughtful of her.

If you are getting turned on by this story line, call your therapist, NOW.




Source

An Abusive Contract

Now we see Christian as a 27 year old wealthy, but traumatized man, his wealth established with the help of his kind <gag>, abusive former "Sub." He finds himself an innocent, lovely virgin and gets her to sign a contract allowing him to control her right down to her clothing choices. In short, takes over her life. Being thrilled by this handsome, rich man who seems so interested in her, she falls for that crap, hook, line and sinker. My, how romantic. A man to control your every move, be jealous of everything you do, yell at you and call you stupid. Just what every woman wants. Being verbally degraded and assaulted coupled with being struck to the point of wearing bruises and scratches is every woman's dream. NOT. Just a little word of advice to the men who are buying into the promotions for this nightmare "romance" that is it an instruction manual for how women want to be treated. Fellas...try this on a real woman and you will probably be the one with bruises, sitting all alone at the curb wondering what went wrong.

Source

And the Beat (Down) Goes On

In the last book of the trilogy we see the main character going for help, but the damage has already been done to his poor, dumb, sweet, Ana and is being passed on. In one passage of the book we see brainless, little devoted, Ana excited and thrilled about having her baby bump flogged by Christian. Yes, folks, she is pregnant, with a daughter, her second child in this sick relationship. Afterwards, when asked by baby daddy how the baby isdoing, Ana giddily replies that the baby is dancing in her womb...she must love sex already. My, what a life that child has to look forward to. Sexual abuse in the womb,what will they think of next? I don't even want to know.

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    • Karen Exelby profile imageAUTHOR

      Karen Exelby 

      3 years ago from Paragould, Arkansas

      In reply to dashing scorpio, I could write a book, and probably will, on why women are buying 50 Shades. I agree with you on all points. Having worked with people struggling with addiction I am convinced that much of what we find fascinating is linked to childhood trauma. I apologize for the delay in my response, for some reason your comment showed up as spam. Thank you for your response.

    • Karen Exelby profile imageAUTHOR

      Karen Exelby 

      3 years ago from Paragould, Arkansas

      "Overall, it did me no harm." These are words I have heard and said so many times, only to discover that the wreckage I was looking back on in my life was a direct result of things I had thought had no effect on me. Things that had shaped my thinking and altered my behavior and ultimately directed the course of my life. I have also heard those words many times in working with those who are struggling with addiction only to see them discover later that those were the very things at the root of their need to medicate. As far as legality for pornography, in m y opinion there should be no "legal age" for degrading and dehumanizing others. Pornography portrays humanity as usable and disposable body parts. It teaches us to think of others as objects of lust, not whole beings with whom we share a connection. We wonder why relationships do not last and marvel at the trend in society in which young people do not marry. Could it be because intimacy, true connection between human beings has been replaced with faceless, voiceless sex void of intimacy?

    • Say Yes To Life profile image

      Yoleen Lucas 

      3 years ago from Big Island of Hawaii

      How early is too early? The drinking age is 21; what should be the "porn" age?

      I had access to confession magazines as young as 12, but it wasn't until I was 17 before I started buying my own and coming across spicy stories. After age 25 or so, I lost interest. Overall, it did me no harm.

    • Karen Exelby profile imageAUTHOR

      Karen Exelby 

      3 years ago from Paragould, Arkansas

      Not everyone who views porn will become an addict just as not everyone who drinks becomes an alcoholic. The risk with starting porn at an early age is that the reward center of the brain is pretty much what we live on until approximately age 25. If we train that reward center to need extraordinary acts to reach a sexual climax we will never be satisfied with what the real world, as opposed to the fantasy of pornography has to offer. This, in turn, robs us of the needed connection of intimacy and steals the comfort that being satisfied with what is right in front of us offers.

    • Say Yes To Life profile image

      Yoleen Lucas 

      3 years ago from Big Island of Hawaii

      Wow - I admit, I know very little about BDSM. Pretty much the sum total is what I read in the Fifty Shades books. It sounds like you were not a consenting party, so that's WRONG. Women being led on leashes with their heads down doesn't sound sexy to me, either. Apparently, they have major self-esteem issues, as you described. I understand some men are like that, too.

      "Fifty Shades" is called mommy porn because it appeals to older, jaded women, due to its shocking subject matter. I think it's mainly for entertainment, not education, nor is it meant to be a social commentary.

      Based on what research I've done on the subject of porn, during adolescence, it is common for guys to look at girlie magazines and for girls to read confession stories. As long as the person doesn't become an addict, it's harmless. The addiction rate is 17%, twice that of alcoholism. I personally don't have a problem with spicy confession stories or soft porn like Playboy. I do have a problem with degrading hard core porn, or graphic crime detective stories.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      3 years ago

      Karen Exelby, Do you have any idea why millions of women purchased these books? It's also somewhat fascinating that a (woman) created these characters and storyline. Women are the ones who made it a hit!

      You said: "The neighbors talked about vans pulling up with men taking women in on leashes with their heads down. Call me crazy, but that just does not sound sexy to me. It sounds like a (crime against feminism)"

      I've seen interviews of female Escorts whose male clients have paid them to whip and beat them and in some instances urinate on them. They claim many of these men hold powerful positions in the corporate and government worlds. I'm not sure if anyone would it a (crime against men) but it's definitely twisted!

      Ultimately whatever two (consenting adults) decide to do is up to them. I just wonder if the women readers of these books are fantasizing or shall I say romanticizing about being submissive to men but in reality would run straight to the police the minute they were unchained.

      Maybe it's just old fashioned voyeuristic curiosity. For some reason I don't believe the movie will be a huge blockbuster.

    • Karen Exelby profile imageAUTHOR

      Karen Exelby 

      3 years ago from Paragould, Arkansas

      Having been in a marriage for over a decade and a half to a porn addict who could only function in bdsm, I have to say that it is not a party.There is no intimacy. The sexual part of my marriage basically ended when I refused to go to the OBGYN during my pregnancy with bruises. The attitude of control that accompanies BDSM by the dom bleeds over into every aspect of the relationship. I suppose it is fine for people who are naturally submissive, have low self esteem and/or are unable to be in control of their own lives, but I do not fall into that category.The neighborhood I lived in at one time had a house on the street that had for having been a BDSM club. The neighbors talked about vans pulling up with men taking women in on leashes with their heads down. Call me crazy, but that just does not sound sexy to me. It sounds like a crime against feminism. I have seen many sites and online groups that are pro BDSM, but I do not put any faith in Wikipedia Wikipedia is a very unreliable source that can be edited by anyone and is a hotbed of activity for pedophiles.

    • Say Yes To Life profile image

      Yoleen Lucas 

      3 years ago from Big Island of Hawaii

      Ooh - interesting!

      I read the first two books. The third didn't hold my interest. The way you reviewed them - I hadn't thought of it that way.

      According to the old classic, "Everything You've Always Wanted to Know about Sex - But Were Afraid to Ask" says couples into S&M are basically harmless. As long as both are consenting adults, there is no problem. It's only when one person is forcing it on an unwilling partner that it becomes a criminal act.

      I personally thought the sex scenes were well written; it was the story line that was thin. Like most romance novels, the man is wealthy and the woman is innocent. When Christian first revealed to Ana that his birth mother had been a crack whore, it came across to me as a joke. No real details describe how Christian got his money. Being rescued by a perfect family - especially by a doctor who treats ER patients every day - is about as unrealistic as you can get.

      I admit, what you wrote about Christian practicing S&M on Ana's pregnant abdomen does bother me. I hadn't read that far into the third book because I lost interest, the whole thing was so trite.

      I skimmed parts of "Nine 1/2 Weeks". It bothered me, so I chose not to see the movie. Later, I heard Kim Basinger was abused while making it, so she would play a more realistic victim. She came out of the experience feeling like a rape victim. Now I'm glad I didn't see it!

      Here's a link that describes couples who use Bondage and Discipline. It explains about their psychology as well.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BDSM

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      3 years ago

      I wonder why these books are embraced by (millions of women) from around the globe. Many of whom I imagine would be turned off by other forms of pornography. Apparently the popularity of both confirms there is a market for such material. I've heard some people pay to be beaten!

      Back in the 1986 there was a book and movie with a similar theme called 9 1/2 Weeks starring Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke. (Almost 30 years ago)

      I guess what goes around comes around. Thanks for providing the storyline.

    • JayeWisdom profile image

      Jaye Denman 

      3 years ago from Deep South, USA

      Thanks for writing a truthful and revealing review of the book trilogy and movie-to-be. I'd read just enough about the books to know I didn't want to read them, and I won't see the movie either. I'm not a prude, but don't like seeing abuse of any type glorified. Like you, I find nothing sexy in the premise. Anyone who is titillated by the abusive behavior in "Fifty Shades...." has a personal problem, in my opinion. There's too much sexual and physical violence abuse really happening without a "how to" manual being touted. I vote your review up, useful and interesting, but give a "thumbs down" to the Fifty Shades trilogy and movie.

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