- Books, Literature, and Writing»
- Commercial & Creative Writing»
- Creative Writing»
- Humor Writing
Beware of the Alien Cows
The Alien Fascination
The popularity of aliens is evident in our society today. Are you skeptical? All one needs to do is watch History or Discovery Channel, or any of the other educational channels available on cable television. "Ancient Aliens" and dozens of other programs explore thoughts and theories regarding the presence of aliens on Earth, both past and present.
Some experts believe alien intervention explains the sudden leap of technology, allowing us to advance from horse and buggy to the moon in less than a century. Certainly an interesting theory, but it is based on the assumption that aliens would communicate with humans when they visit. I am unable to buy into this idea, if aliens wanted to talk with humans, they would have already done so.
I Have My Own Theory
I have studied the alien activity and believe they have visited Earth many times, but it is not humans in which they are in contact with. Aliens never visit urban areas full of people, instead they always seem to show up near farms way out of town. The people who see UFO's are either farmers, driving on deserted highways or fishing in the countryside. Curious how these people see, but never speak to the aliens? It is not because the aliens are shy. The reason aliens never talk to people is because they seek a higher intelligence to communicate with.
The UFO's are often spotted near farms because they are in communication with farm animals, specifically the cows. It is an alien masterplan centuries in the making. It is important to realize that aliens do not operate on the same concept of time that we humans do. Their civilization is much older than ours, they have travelled a thousand years just to reach Earth, five hundred years to implement their plan is nothing to them.
Cows Are Part of an Elite Alien Invasion Force
Cows are the perfect agents to assist the alien plan for global domination. They are motivated by revenge for their brethren who have wound up on the dinner table. They have even warned us with their "eat more chicken" commercials, yet mankind has refused to accept the danger we face. We have grossly underestimated our opponent, convincing ourselves that cows are unintelligent creatures.
Have you ever driven past a cow pasture and noticed how they stop and stare? We think they are merely grazing, but that is only what they want us to think. In reality, they are comparing notes on their observations of human behavior. These notes will later be passed on to the mother ship when it lands in the back forty.
What is not clear is exactly what the plan is. Perhaps Mad Cow Desease was some sort of early test run of their secret weapon, I am not sure. What I am sure of is the seriousness of this issue. If we are to save humanity, it is urgent the people of Earth unite together and present a unified front against this threat. We must be careful what we say and do when in the presence of cows. Perhaps even engage in a program of misinformation so the aliens will not know that we are onto their plans.
Another tactic we should look into is possibly recruiting other farm animals to be spies on our side. Chickens would be a good first choice, due to their constant presence around the barnyard and they already distrust the cows ever since the whole "eat more chicken" bit. Those chickens might be more than happy to help, though we may have to agree to stop eating fried chicken. Seems a small price to save humanity.
It's Not Too Late to Save the World
Thats right people, there is time to save the world from alien invasions. We must band together and keep focused on the threat we face. It is important that we do not let minor distractions keep us from dealing with what is important. Last of all, but most important, we must never lose hope. Be strong my fellow humans.
© 2012 Christopher J Wood