Funny Quotes About the Bible
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they're cramming for their final exam.
Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.
-Gilbert K. Chesterton
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with.
- Archie Bunker (Carroll O'Connor)
It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth after they inherit it.
More people are troubled by what is plain in Scripture than by what is obscure.
-Roy L. Smith
If God had been a liberal, we wouldn't have had the Ten Commandments-we'd have the Ten Suggestions.
-Sir Malcolm Bradbury
My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for 40 years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.
Why do they put the Gideon bibles only in the bedrooms, where it's usually too late?
The Bible and several other self help or enlightenment books cite the Seven Deadly Sins. They are: pride, greed, lust, envy, wrath, sloth, and gluttony. That pretty much covers everything that we do, that is sinful... or fun for that matter.