Big Rat

Hjalmar Rattussen is hungry. And can you blame him?

He just happens — through no fault of his own, I might add — to be the world’s largest Norwegian rat, weighing in (at least for today) at 15, 897 pounds (7,211 kilos), and looming over 83 feet tall without trying.

It’s a good thing he’s so fluffy, or all that bulk would add up to a lot more weight! Pity the parked Porsches!

Hjalmar is indeed hungry. It appears that American society expects this poor fella and the rest of his extended immigrant clan to subsist on the odd banana peel, fish bone, eggshell, or tuft of home insulation.

Try to understand that Hjalmar likes what you do: medium rare filet, popcorn, fro-yo, cheese-crust pizza, bloomin’ onions, hot wings and New York deli cheesecake. So loosen up on the vittles already!