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Billy The Fish
Billy the Fish is a Comic Strip in Viz Comic detailing the adventures of Billy Thompson, who was born half-man and half-fish, and his footballing exploits at Fulchester United. The strip relies heavily on a pastiche of the Roy of the Rovers comic strip from the Tiger Comic. Roy played for Melchester rather than Fulchester. The Billy the Fish series takes the Roy of the Rovers far-fetched stories and stretches them even further, plot elements in the comic strip are normally nonsensical, far-fetched and highly contrived and were frequently then completely forgotten.
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Regular Characters in Billy the Fish
- Billy Thompson - the eponymous hero of the strip. For some reason not clearly explained he was born half-man half-fish, he has human head, replete with mullet, and a fish's torso. Somehow he floats above the ground in thin air and can propel himself using his fins and tail in this manner he has miraculously been a very successful goalkeeper for his hometown club Fulchester United. The first Billy was killed saving a booby-trapped ball in an FA Cup final, but was replaced by his son,also called Billy, who happened to look exactly like his father.
- Tommy Brown - is the team manager. He is the stereotypical lower league manager, bluff and straight-talking who is never seen without his sheepskin jacket. In the past he has had open heart surgery on the pitch and also was revealed to be a woman in disguise. His catchphrase is "someone's out to make trouble for Fulchester United. The question is who?"
- Rick Spangle - is a millionaire pop star and the chairman of Fulchester United, much in the vain of Elton John and Watford. In one strip, Spangle was revealed to be a Martian in disguise who was out to get Billy to transfer to his team Dynamo Mars.
- Maxwell Baxter - is a "ruthless millionaire", based heavily on Robert Maxwell, who is usually out to destroy Fulchester United in some manner. Despite many "appearances", the real Baxter has never been seen, as he always turns out to in fact be a cardboard replica with a hidden tape recorder or in a later episode a waxwork dummy with a concealed CD player.
- Evil Gus Parker - is the boss of arch-rivals Grimthorpe City. Parker along with his henchman, Wilf, is often behind some highly contrived scheme
to discredit Fulchester United.
- Syd Preston - is the team coach and is a bit of a hapless fall-guy. Syd is usually trying to make sense of events
- Brown Fox - is one of Fulchester Uniteds wingers, who also just happens to be a buxom scantily clad Native American woman.
- Johnny X - is the Fulchester United striker who just happens to be invisible. Although how the Fulchester team find him is not fully explained.
- Terry Jackson - is the Fulchester United reserve team keeper and is often involved either unwittingly or not in a plan to get rid of Billy.
- Professor Wolfgang Schnell BSc. PhD. - is another Fulchester United player who in his spare time is a mad scientist. He therefore will only shoot for goal after working out the best trajectory he should kick the ball at by use of his calculator, various charts and a geometry set.
- Shakin' Stevens - the 80's pop star signed for Fulchester United as a player, parodying the Roy of the Rovers strip that had members of Spandau Ballet signing for Melchester United. In later strips Mick Hucknall from Simply Red also signed for Fulchester.
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Billy choose between Fulchester or Kylie
In one episode Fulchester United were facing a tough match against rivals Rossdale Rovers, as they have just signed Diego Maradona. At half time Billy gets a phone call from Australia, and has to decide whether to continue his career in football, or to go to bed with Kylie.
The Death of Billy the Fish
Leading 1-0 in the Cup Final Billy the Fish faces a last-minute penalty to save the game however there is a forty pound bomb attached to the ball. He has to choose between saving the goal, or saving himself.
Finishes with these immortal words from Tommy Brown. "He may be dead but his memory will live on forever. We shall not see his like again. Wherever men may gather to talk of football or fish, they will toast the name of Billy Johnson"(sic).
The Search for a New Goalkeeper
Two years have passed since the death of Billy the Fish, and the search is on for at Fulchester United for a new goalie. The once proud Fulchester United are floundering at the foot of the Fourth Division and losing 20-0. They audition for new goalkeepers including Tex Timpson the Cowboy goalkeeper in full cowboy regalia and a man in full deepsea diving regalia. Eventually they find Billy's son who is the spitting image of his dad and just as good a keeper.