Black Wolf of Mine
Black wolf of mine who will not allow yourself to love me as freely as you would like to, comfort yourself, once more, within my arms before you leave again to hunt for your own death. I see now that the hope and love you see in me just adds to the torment that you feel in this world. I see now that the peace that I bring you only provides for small breaks from your constant pain. I know what it is to be stuck in a world you were not made for and do not belong in. I am sorry that I couldn't save you. I honestly never aimed to save you because I am not sure how to. My aim was not to change you either. My only aim was to bring you peace and love. I wanted to sit with you in your dark places and embrace you for a time. I do not doubt your love for me and I know that you would die for me but I also know that you can't bare to live for me or anything or anyone and I know that I live in the shadows of your past. All I can ever be is the same as anything else that comes into your life at this point and that is second to your past. Just a good thing for what you once were not for what you are now. If this world is your hell as it is for so many here, I would have sat in it beside you but it seems that you have sealed my fate in this story. I am destined to join the ghosts in a past that haunts you or face losing you to your own demise. I wish I were strong enough to help rid you of this life but as you limp to me, broken and bleeding, all I can bring myself to do is lay beside you, lick your wounds, and share my warmth. All I can ever do is fail to heal you day after day as I curb my pain to stare into your lost eyes and empty soul. Still, this wolf is all that I have ever known you to be and it would have been enough for me. Although the hardest thing in the world to do is to stand by you as you fade away, I can't leave you to face it alone regardless of the price I will pay. The past fills your eyes so that you don't see life and you don't see me but I will remain by your side as long as I can until you chose death or decide to let in some kind of life whether or not its by my side.