Breaking Free
Look in the mirror
What do you see
Do you see yourself
Or a fantasy
Not reality what
People have said
You are
Not really you
And you believed them
Every word
Every thought
A false
Representation
You are not
Those layers
Shed them free
They bind you
With fear
Drowning you
Killing you slowly
Comments
I'm not a critique of poetry, however: the dimeter syllable/phrasing
of the verse is LOST in mere written {typed} form. I suggest placing punctuation to intone 'pause', or any sort of change in dynamics {suddenly loud, etc. / or 'reflexive', etc.,} much in the same way music notation uses dynamic(s) symbols: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dynamics_%28music%29 Then again, the default is if poetry, such as what you've just written, is to be 'interpreted' {in all aspects, from dynamics to metric-rhythm: by the person reading it}. - /// I've just used a basic (& overtly simplistic) Scientific Method into "how to properly interpret" written poetic-verse, from a completely out-side perspective {i.e. a person who knows nothing on the subject of the semantics of written poetry}. - feel free to let us know the implied dynamics/rhythmic-timing, -or- if indeed, your verse is meant to be purely interpreted by the reader....
This one makes me stop and reflect on myself. Very thought provoking. Thank you for sharing.
- Author
Hi Current my poetry is written in free verse and has no rules attached to it. I like to have the reader interpret my poetry in way way that is beneficial for them. Thanks for the critique and comment. :)
Hi Shanmarie thank you for your kind comment. :)
This is why pretending to be who you are not is painful. Thanks for sharing, Caroline, this powerful write.
Interesting poem for sure about realizing who we truly are and how life is not a magic tale of perfection but if we can see ourselves and love ourselves we are truly rich indeed.
I am but a mere purveyor of words myself and do not pretend to know what can be going through a womans mind when she writes such free verse words as these, that take me into another world ,words that set my heart spinning with a certain fantasy of what is and what can be.
I love your poetry and think it is fantastic, please keep writing and don't listen to some scientific jibber- jab.
Michael
caroline,
beautiful poem that you have here
I enjoyed reading
Voted up
A wonderful freeverse and voted up.
Eddy.
Caroline you simply have a poetic mind I loved it!!!
- Author
Hi Midget thank you so much! :)
Hi Blondey thank you for reading and stopping by! :)
Hi Michael thank you for all your support! :)
Hi Current no offense taken! :)
Hi Torrilyn thank you for taking time out to read. :)
Hi Eiddwen thank you so much! :)
Hi Frank thanks for the compliment! :)
Well what can i say? Except that i love your poetry and i love the metaphor of breaking free from any type of bondage, such as, fear, love, hate, and the last comments that are out-of-place...Bravo..
- Author
Thank you Ruby for your constant and positive support. :)
Wonderful poetry. I believe we are always trying to break free....
We can and should be free--lovely write Caroline!
A great poem on self-reflection and how we see ourselves maybe through others. Voted up and awesome! : )
omg - your talent gives me goosebumps!
You have a way with words that sets you apart, Caroline - you cut through the incidentals and get to the heart of the matter!
Breaking binds is for the strong and courageous - that gorgeous picture exemplifies this perfectly!
voting up and sharing forward!
wow! such truth in these words. A thought provoking poem on self-reflection. voted up!
Great writing, and the form works just fine for me too. We should all be able to see ourselves as clearly as possible, though we are often our harshest critics.
Caroline,
I, for one, enjoy the style in which you wrote this. There is a place for rules in poetry just as there is a place from freedom and fluidity, like here.
The message of your verse is so true. We do try to conform to the image that people have of us. It's easy to believe we are the way we are perceived. It's not so easy to break free of it, is it? We are raised from birth not to disappoint others yet we must be true to ourselves. Your poem is a call to shed the veneers and find our core beneath. Well done and thought provoking. Voted up and more!
The self image is extremely powerful, it just might be the greatest power humans have. Great poem, up and interesting :)
I love how you put life into prospective with this one. We all do tend to believe what others say about us rather what we know to be true. Great poem.
Your verse says a lot and emphasizes the importance of being honest with ourselves. We all love praise but it can be damaging at times. Nicely done. ~WB
"Those layers, shed them free." Too many of us live under the fear of being who we truly are to the outside world, so make ourselves behave and speak as someone else. Well spoken words as always! I'll need to share this one!
- Author
Gypsy thank you. :)
Audrey thank you. :)
Dreamseeker thank you. :)
Leslie thank you. :)
Lovedoctor thank you. :)
XStatic thank you. :)
Poetic Fool thank you. :)
Eddie thank you. :)
Cheryl thank you. :)
Wayne thank you. :)
Gmaoli thank you. :)
I know what it is like to look in the mirror and see a person I needed to be, a closeted me who needed to wake up and stopped hiding my true self from others. It is difficult but not impossible. Thanks to my friends and people who cared about me, I was successful, and I broke those chains.
I can relate to these words so much, Caroline. I echo the sentiment that we all have to own up to who we truly are, because that falseness does drown us slowly. It is such a simple yet powerful message. I love that words can lend themselves to many interpretations. This is a wonderful hub.
- Author
Thank you for your beautiful comment Astra. Those are perfect words that you described "that falseness does drown us slowly". This was about so many people who become someone else for a relationship to someone and to others themselves. I'm glad you had great friends who let you know it was okay to be the real you. :)
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