Cockroach Economics

(Writer’s Note:  This hub was written in response to a request from a fellow hubber, alijafar. I have no idea what the basis or reason for the request might be but I thought that I would give it my best shot. Hopefully you will find it enjoyable! WB).

No one could believe the news when they first heard it on the television evening newscast or read it in the paper the next morning.  It was so unbelievable that even a person who did not believe in miracles had to step back and reconsider in light of this amazing accomplishment.  Officials within the federal government had just made an official announcement that the cockroach had finally reached extinction and had been totally eradicated from our society.  No longer would the infestation of the cockroach drive our economic engine in so many ways. No longer would we get up in the middle of the night, turn on the light, and see one of the hideous long brown creatures scurrying across the floor acting like a surprised criminal caught in the midst of his crime.  The long winter of infestation was finally over.

For a while, there was all out celebration throughout the country.  People were literally dancing in the streets with joy.  Restaurant owners were among the happiest of the crowd all grinning with the emotion that no longer would they be confronted with the embarrassment of cockroaches turning up in their establishments…what a relief!  Days had gone by now and still the celebrations continued.  Mankind had come to dominate the cockroach as he had all the creatures of earth.  This indeed was a day of victory, a time of celebration.

But there were those among us who were not so happy.  In fact, these people were quickly falling into a state of shock and depression.  The exterminators of America were totally sad-mouthed by the announced accomplishment of modern science.  The thought of this accomplishment send terror through the hearts of every pest control technician throughout the cities of America.  No more cockroaches…it was absolutely unbelievable.  Most folks would think they would be happy as well but the exterminators already knew what the people had not yet realized.  If the cockroach could be wiped out, then there was not hope for any other pest that walked, crawled, or flew around in America.  The cockroach was the icon.  It was the beast.  It was the standard by which the resilence of all other pest was measured.  Now this mighty cockroach had succumbed to the rigors of modern day pesticide and fell into extinction.  Truly this must be a sign that the end of the world is quite near.  There was no doubt about it, all the pest control technicians believed it.

The cockroach had been around since the first days of earth.  It had survived literally for centuries in every arena of mankind taking on his most potent concoctions and surviving them with ease.  Blessed with the ability to live in any environment and to multiply at speeds that would make jackrabbits cry, the cockroach for its ugliness was certainly a multi-talent and timeless bug.  Now, it too, had run out of luck in the war with mankind. It too had gone the way of the dinosauer and other species lost in time.  Pest control technicians sat at their desk and slightly wept the loss.

What could possibly be the economic trickle down effect in monetary terms of the eradication of this pesky critter from our midst?  Well, obviously the pest control industry would take a huge economic hit as one of the front line business directly impacted by the cockroach.  With over 4200 different species of cock roaches, 30 of which are classified as pests, the cockroach is big business in the pest control world.  Then there is the economics of disease and parasites these creatures carried.  That means doctors will also be impacted in terms of income since there will be significant decline in allergy and parasitic occurrences in patients.

More than 70,000 pest control technicians throughout America will suffer an income reduction due to the demise of the cockroach.  Current estimates for family care physicians put that population at approximately 100,000 doctors.  In total, this is approximately 170,000 individuals who are directly affected financially by the disappearance of the cockroach.  Now there is an economic theory which speculates that a minimum of six people are affected when the income of one individual is reduced.  On the base of that information, the expotential effect on trickle down income will expand from these 170,000 professional to an estimated 1,020,000 people who will suffer an economic impact.  Obviously these people will be involved in a variety of life pursuits but they economic suffering can only affect more people by that factor of six once again.  By the time we reach the third layer, the impacted population is over 6,000,000 people who will feel the ill-effects of the death of the cockroach.

Certainly the loss of the cockroach will cause a broad economic downturn as it trickles down through the layers of America.  The fingers of the effect will reach into restaurants, food stores, and into various retail stores such as Wal-Mart and Targets.  Once store sales volumes begin to drop, the backlash will be a lay-off of workers which will in turn surpress another layer of the population causing the financial impact to run even deeper.  In fact, some economists speculate that the loss of the cockroach could go so far as to undermine the financial coffers of the federal government setting off calls for tax increases from various key officials.

As news of these developments began to filter down to the average individual, the air of celebration began to depart the country.  Americans became increasing anxiously about the potential for pay cuts or possibly being laid-off from their current employment. An aura of depression fell upon the land and despair seemed to be the mood in what had just recently been a nation in celebration.  Disaster had struck once again in America and it was evident the toll would be high.

As the President walked out on to the podium to once again address America regarding this dire consequence that had befallen the nation, a strange thing occurred.  As the President prepared to begin reading the speech that he hoped would prop up the human spirit of Americans throughout the nation and give them a renewed sense of hope, he glanced at the floor and caught sight of a lone cockroach running from beneath the podium.  In that single instance caught on the cameras of the nationwide media, a miracle occurred.  The President and all those about him suddenly realized that America had been spared.  Americans would not suffer the ravages brought on by the loss of the loathsome cockroach.  All would be well once again in America as pest control technicians, family physicians, and just your average Americans smiled with glee watching the cockroach crawl across the toe of the President’s shoe.

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