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Conversation Pieces II: Warped!
By: Wayne Brown
(Author's Note: If you have not already, you might want to read the original "Conversation Pieces" listed in my hubs. The two are not related but it will give you a sense of the "one way conversation" that I am attempting in each piece.)
What happens when a man goes crazy? You know that thing where the worms just take total control of his mind and he follows the direction of some insane zombie’s desires. Maybe he kills people, maybe he turns into a cannibal, hides the bodies under the house. What happens? Something must happen because killing your fellowman does not fit the human persona. Something must snap. A wire breaks. A file gets lost and then suddenly here is a man who is a serial killer. Does he know why? Does he care? Is he just an animal operating on instincts? What happens when a man goes crazy?
He sits upon the hill hidden by the trees and watch the children go and come from school each day. He has been coming here for two weeks. He always knew why. He is intrigued by the little people, especially the girls. He senses an urge to have me one to do with as I please. He knows that soon he will. For two weeks He has watched now and finally he see the one that he must have. He will come back here and watch for her for a while. He must plan how he will do, how he will get her into his hands.
“You think I am sick don’t you? Because I do this? Because I want this? How can I argue with you when I am just living my life. You are the one with concerns. I just want to get me a little something for myself. What’s wrong with that? There are things you want and you get them. You plan and scheme to have the things that you desire. Why am I crazy and your are not? I don’t understand. I think you don’t want me to be happy.”
“I will do it, you know that I will just like I have done it before. Lots of people do it. Some of them do it several times. So what’s your problem with me getting in on the action? Why can’t I get what I want in my life? If you try to stop me here, I will just go to some other place and fulfill my need. You know I will. But, I don’t want to do that. This is my spot. I have made my choice. I want what I want and I do not need you getting in my way. I have invested a lot of time and effort into this and I want to carry it out. I want my little one. You won’t do anything but bitch you spineless twit of a brother. If you didn’t let me live here, I would not even admit to you being my kin. I can tell you everything. But you’re too spineless to do anything about, you helpless excuse for a man.”
“Oh, yeah…go ahead and look down your nose at me like I am some kind of demented bastard. You think you are better than me don’t you? Hell, yes you do. You always have. Your life is just peaches and cream and my life is shit. You don’t want me in your house even if I am kin. I am blood. We are family yet you continue to sit there and look at me like I am some kind of an animal, an animal that you abhor. You look at me like you think I am stupid or sick. What about you, who said you were well? Who gives a shit about you anyway?”
“I really don’t want to hurt anyone. Don’t you understand that? I just need to have something that is mine. Something that I got for myself. Something that I own, control. Something that must do as I say. All my life, I have cowered to those who have made me their own. They have abused me, hurt me, hated me and thrown me out the back door without looking back. I have nothing. Why can I not take this for me? You sure as hell aren’t gonna stand in my way. Oh, bullshit, you’re not callin’ the cops. They wouldn’t believe you anyway. By the time they leave here, you will be the crazy one.”
“I never should have mentioned it to you. I never should have thought that you would have understood in the least what my needs are. You all high and mighty don’t have to answer to anyone for your desires, your pleasures, your sins. But you sure as hell want me to account for even the most simple desire on my part. I deserve something, you should not have it all. Some of it is mine and I intend to take it.”
“You are praying that I won’t do it. I know you. That’s exactly what you are doing. You think I am just idle talk. But there is a part of you that lives in the fear that I will do it. I will take what I want. I will do it at only a time and place that I will know and when you hear of it, you will know that it was me. You will be powerless to do anything about it. You will know and you will not be able to stop it. And you say that I am the weak one. I pity you.”
“You will not tell anyone. The thought shames you too much. You will pray but you will not tell anyone. I will have what I want. I will take it. You will pray. But you won’t tell anyone. When they come to ask, you will lie and say that you don’t know. You will lie. Because you do know. Like all the other times you will lie and I will go on as I have in the past. Don’t lecture me on right or wrong.”
When I have done my deed and things have cooled a bit. I will call you to let you know that I am okay. I won’t come back here. I will spare you that small bit of shame. You will live with your lie. That will be enough. You have no power; no spine. If you did, you would pick up the telephone and call the police right now. But you won’t. You had rather lie. There’s nothing you can tell them right now to make them believe that I am going to do what I am going to do. Sure, they will come out. You will tell them that I am crazy and plan to do something illegal. They will think that you are crazy especially after they talk with me. You won’t do nothing and you know it.”
I ain’t crazy but all you bastards think that I am. I just have needs like you and everybody else. You take what you want. I take what I want. Are we not the same people when it is all said and done. I think we are. I have earned the right in life to do what I want. I owe no one an explanation for it. You say I am crazy; I say you are. Who is going to believe who? That’s just the way it works. Even a crazy guy like me can understand that. You and everybody else can go to hell!
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