ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

"The Quiet shared 6

Updated on February 29, 2012
© Quill Collection
© Quill Collection

Welcome

Time to again get settle in and find a pace by the Fireside. We are chilly here today and the morning was very brisk. So gather around and lets get started on yet another journey through the past.

Be sure and help yourself to the coffee, tea and hot chocolate. Sorry no goodies as Quigley found them first. She has been known to sneak the odd treat you know.

© Quill Collection
© Quill Collection

Chapter Six

The River Runs Wild

It is another lazy morning.

The birds are singing and I can hear a light rustle in the leaves while I lie in bed thinking of what the past several days have given me.

Tannis has already covered me in kisses and wants outside, as she needs her morning pee time. It is a cool morning. As I peek outside I see the lake has a still ripple on it. So brisk is the cool morning air that I climb back into my sleeping bag for a little while. Tannis has returned and has again taken up her duties as keeper of her human. It’s a great feeling knowing that I am so well looked after.

As I lie here I watch the sun casting shadows over the tent. The leaves are creating a flurry of activity. It is a shadow show that is a busy spectacle. The large aspen tree overhead is likely to fall one of these years soon. It has many scars of years gone by. The tree was struck by lightning a few years back that left an ugly gash that nearly split it in two. It is a victim and yet it is a survivor.

Over the years I have met many people who are the same, much like I am. Maybe they are victims of circumstance or maybe an untold story that needs telling someday.

The Yukon is filled with all kinds of people. Some, like me, chasing the dream of the last frontier while others simply want to hide. Life touches us all differently. Life changes and people change.

The Yukon is a place you either love or you hate. Most people who come here come with nothing but personal baggage or a past they would rather forget. With just a few dollars to their names, they step into the unknown, soon realizing this is where they want to be, away from everything.

I landed here quite by accident and it was love at first sight.

I treasured the adventure and the challenge in claiming my piece of the frontier. After a few days, what little money I had was quickly running out, but I was able to find work. It was a meager job that turned into something wonderful after a few years of hard work. I eventually owned the company and sold it at the peek of an announcement of talk of a pipeline coming through. It was a smart choice as the sale allowed me years of doing what I love best without care of an income.

The Yukon is not a welfare state by any means. Here you either work or go hungry. There are few handouts from the Government and other agencies. It is so different from other provinces in Canada, because it is still a territory and therefore, can make its own rules. Many of the laws that governed the remainder of Canada just don’t apply here.

To cite a few examples: you are allowed to drink in public. You can even drink and drive as long as you are not impaired. You can even walk down the street with open liquor in your hand. This is a place that I fit into just fine, as I was able to simply hide my problem and be accepted.

You guessed it; alcohol was Lord in my life. It started out innocently enough at a very early age and grew into a monster that consumed me. It is a devastating disease. Addictions are horrible because they change you, and you hurt so many people. I managed to quit drinking only to fall into yet another addiction. Drugs, both legal and illegal. With the addiction, I was lost for several years.

I would find myself losing days, completely blotted from memory. Sometimes the only way to figure out where I had been was the monthly Visa bill.

Once I admitted that I had an addiction, the recovery process was long and hard. Several people over the years told me I had a problem but the key was telling myself and seeking help. What holds you to your addiction are your own weaknesses and the need for someone far greater than you to help.

As I write now I shiver, and it is not from the cold outside. It is from the memories of all those years. I disowned myself in many ways, but my parents and family never gave up on me. I thank God daily for His grace and forgiveness and my family for their unconditional love and support.

When you know that you have an addiction of any kind, it’s a problem. It is time to stop running from it and face it. It is not easy, but the price that you pay at this point is far less than the price that you pay if you continue.

Addictions have a tendency to rob you of so much. You lose your self worth, friends, family and work. At the end of the day, all you want is a means to continue to feed the addiction as it is deeply rooted and ingrained into what you are calling a life.

There is a better way. All you need to do is fight for your life. It is right there within your reach. It is not easy but it is real.

Solitude was a necessity for my recovery. Some people choose to join groups where they all have a problem in common. Groups are great, but I felt like I was just revisiting the old pains over and over again. It works for some, but not for me.

The key is coming to a place where you know you are powerless over your addiction, and that it is essential to turn to someone far greater than yourself—a Higher Power.

I mentioned that as a child I was raised in a God-fearing family. We prayed daily. I was truly blessed as a child to know that God was reachable through prayer. The night that I hit the very bottom of the barrel was the night I fell to my knees and asked God to take the pain of addiction away.

Places like this have cleansed me of my past. They are real and concrete. I mentioned earlier that no “high” I have ever tried could reward me as much as the beauty and serenity of nature in the Yukon. It is here that I found my peace. That is the true gift that I see this day.

The journey has been a discovery creation. The joy comes from knowing Him and not what is in the bottle or pills. Here, breathing in the clean, fresh cool air of the day God has provided, I find my real life.

Tannis is very much a part of that life. I love her so much Partly because I got her a few months before I quit drinking. I had lost all but a few friends that were willing to stand by me.

What followed my decision to stop drinking was a terrible nightmare. Tannis stayed right there at my side the whole time. She became the best friend I could have asked for in many ways. Withdrawals were so bad that there were times I would simply pass out from weakness. When I awoke, she was there with kisses, and she accepted me just as I was. She is a true blessing.

The road I have traveled has led me to this wilderness where I depend only on myself and Tannis to survive. It is a road of recovery and redemption all wrapped up into what I can now call real life.

The road will always continue. Life is a never-ending process as long as you breathe and I would ask that none give up as there is a far better way to live than what I have been through. One day and one step at a time. After as many years have past now the craving has past and I still live free and to me I know I have again found the man inside of myself. Back to the story to follow... Chapter seven is coming soon....

© All Rights Reserved

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Morning Jackie... hugs for the comment and encouragement. Life has been good and so many today are struggling. What I find amazing is they keep turning up in my path and it opens the door to many great conversations and new friendships.

      Thank you for reading on....

      Hugs from Canada

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 5 years ago from The Beautiful South

      It may have been anything Rolly; and as bad as it was it could have been something worse. Bottom line as you yourself say, God is the answer and He is and has always been right there. Some of us, like you, see His beauty everywhere and can only be amazed knowing He says it only gets better so that we cannot even imagine it!

      Thanks for another great story friend and God Bless.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi again lifegate... glad you found your way back... it is always good for people to share some of life's struggles... it does set one free when you face the demon and move on again...

      Blessings

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi itakins... thank you for te comment and you are to be commended for the work you are doing there with people. I look back over te years of people investing in me and realize the importance of putting back as well. To see another suffering step out in success is the driver for us whom care.

      Hugs

    • lifegate profile image

      William Kovacic 5 years ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      Somehow by accident I "unfriended" you. I've got to get back and re-add you. Love the fireside and your story. As far as addiction, I think we can all relate in one way or another. Thanks for sending hope to your fellow hubbers.

    • itakins profile image

      itakins 5 years ago from Irl

      Rolly-

      There is no doubt ,in my experience working with addicts,that God is always ready to fill that void created by the absence of addictive substances.In fact, the organisation here which has the highest recovery rate, is not an exclusive private clinic, but one where everyone, regardless of means etc, is welcome ,so long as they accept the spiritual aspects of the programmes.Nothing is forced on anyone - but God is always referred to as the primary healer -not psychiatrists,nurses ,or counsellors ,through whom God works ,of course-!

      We always refuse to label people as alcoholics ,or drug addicts - but more as hurt people whose addiction happens to be alcohol,drugs,gambling.You know what I am talking about.

      It is truly amazing how many discover God ,or rediscover God,on their journey to recovery - although many will fight against it ,often for years.

      You have done so well,not least by accepting your own goodness as a person.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Morning Always... and there will always be more sadly to say there are so many addictions out there of one type or another. Thank you for reading with us.

      Hugs from Canada

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Morning CC... Yes you are right, this is actually book one in a seven book series an autobiography of life back then and the people and places and yes adventures at the time.

      There are only two territories here in Canada the Yukon and the North West Territories they are governed to an extent by the Federal Government and yet they are a an entity in themselves. "Wild West"... You might say so. Back in the years I was there it was becoming somewhat more civilized.

      Hugs

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Yours is a great story Rolly. So many have gone down that same path then found sobriety. Thank you for sharing your life with us. Cheers

    • cclitgirl profile image

      Cynthia Sageleaf 5 years ago from Western NC

      Very poetic writing here. I jumped in on part 6, but it sounds like all of this is true - an autobiography? I'm glad you are finding your peace. Great journey. From what you describe in the Yukon Territory, it sounds like the "wild west". :)

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Kevin... I feel for you and the family and your son who is living this way. It is sad to think of the value he could be to all of you if he could only find his way. Stay true to who you are and there will be a day he will return. I have little doubt that you have given him all the tools he needs. Continue to love and he will.

      Thank you ever so much for finding your way here.

      Hugs from Canada

    • kevins blog52 profile image

      kevins blog52 5 years ago from southern Indiana

      I'm glad you have found a way out Rolly, I have a son that depends on drugs,I have lost everything I have almost, I love him but I cant reach him, I wont give up just as God wont give up on us.You do have a talent, great read, God bless and my prayers will have you in them.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Tammy... for now they are available only in the eBook format sorry. What I know others have done is download the Kindle App and then download the eBook onto their computers.

      The printed books are the next step. I have been dealing with a very reputable Canadian Publisher whom has contacted me and things are looking promising.

      Really blessed to hear that you are enjoying the series... The Quiet" was the first book I wrote in a series of seven, somewhat of an autobiography of the people whom came and went from my life. Many have since passed away but it is the seeds of hope they planted in me that has inspired and directed me over the years.

      Hugs from Canada

    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 5 years ago from North Carolina

      This is an incredible series. I don't have a Kindle. Where can I get this in print? You are such an inspiration and so open. I am sure your bravery here will help so many. I am touched.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi robie2... thanks for the comment and the kind words. That was many years ago, the series I have written is about those years and the people who stepped in and helped pave the way to today. Many have since past sadly and yet the seeds they planted live on.

      Glad to hear you have found a way as well. Would love to read about your journey sometime.

      Hugs from Canada

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi loveofnight... good to have you stop in and say hello... welcome... Thanks for the comment.

      Blessings from Canada

    • robie2 profile image

      Roberta Kyle 5 years ago from Central New Jersey

      Love this fireside chat and sitting around the fire with you as you pull aside the curtain and share your soul-- I like what you say about the Yukon-- I've never known much about it and I relate to what you say about addiction and recovery. I have my own story on that score, and all and all this was a profoundly serene and beautiful read. Thank you so much

    • loveofnight profile image

      loveofnight 5 years ago from Baltimore, Maryland

      A good read indeed.Thank you for sharing.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi B. Leekley ... first welcome to the Fireside... great to have you here. If you click on my name you can find all the previous chapters there.

      I has been many years and the battle was hard but so much healthier and better today.

      Blessings from Canada

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      H Enlydia... thanks for the comment and it was designed by a fellow in Texas. He caught the moment perfectly.

      Hugs

    • B. Leekley profile image

      Brian Leekley 5 years ago from Kalamazoo, Michigan, USA

      I'm glad you achieved lasting sobriety with the help of God, your dog, and wilderness solitude. Now I'm interested in reading the previous chapters and those to come.

    • Enlydia Listener profile image

      Enlydia Listener 5 years ago from trailer in the country

      Nice cover for your book, Rolly.