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Christian and Ana in Fifity Shades of Grey

Updated on November 21, 2014

by Amber Maccione

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The Misconception of Fifty Shades

Like most people who hadn't read the book but saw all the media attention to it, I thought it was just a sex book. In my hometown, they had the book removed from libraries until there was enough protest about violating people's freedom to read that book. It was eventually put back on the shelves.

One day, my mother-in-law came home with the first book in the series - Fifty Shades of Grey. I was very intrigued. I ended up picking up the book and reading it within three days. Yes, the book is filled with lots of sex, but that is not the main focus of the book. The main focus is the relationship between Christian and Ana - how they met and came about being in a relationship. That is just the first book. The second book in the series is about how Christian and Ana fell in love followed by the third book that follows their married life.

As I read the books, they were quite juicy. The sex was quite vivid through the descriptions given. But what drew me in was the innocence of Ana and the mystery behind Christian. I began to think why I liked these characters so much and why I was so drawn into them. Then it hit me: this is what a woman longs for in a relationship - protection from harm that her lover provides for her; intimacy through honesty, vulnerability, and passionate pleasure; and a sense that she is needed and loved. That is why women are drawn to this series.

Most men have written these books off because they are under the impression that yet another sex fantasy book has arrived to fill women's heads up with unrealistic crap. But the reason, men, that these books are much more popular is because they aren't filled with crap like we see in soap operas. Rather they are filled with heart.

So I dare you men to read these books and see how you can become a Christian Grey in your own lover's eyes - by protecting her, loving her, and allowing her to be your right hand man.

Fifty Shades: The Trilogy by E. L. James

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    • Maria Cecilia profile image

      Maria Cecilia 4 years ago from Philippines

      Read this and I like it, you are right, this is what women wants in a man aside from good looks and wealth, at the end that is what you will remember not the sex scenes..

    • Enigmatic Me profile image

      4 years ago from East Coast Canada

      I've been bombarded by positive female praise for this book since it came out. Which is great... for the author. I've listened to co-workers, my spouse, neighbours, women at the grocery store, people at the coffee shop/bookstore.... etc etc clamour on about how this was a tasty dish about sex. As one who hadn't read it, I let fans speak for the author. I have yet to pick it up.

      That being said. Frank discussion on the themes between my wife and friend illustrated a popular belief -as you state- that the book isn't about sex rather the goal of seeking an intimate relationship with a partner.

      However, as I heard description of Christian (totally undeniably gorgeous, wealth beyond compare, damaged by an older woman as he was just maturing, who took what he learned from her and transferred it into a way of life, who was successful in bedding several 'interns' before meeting an awe inspired recent grad) I wondered if he had been the butcher at the grocery store who barely made ends meet but had the same salacious appetite would this book have been received as it was? Or would Christian have been a bad boy who never got past his past and is kinda creepy for wanting total control over the women in his life in certain circumstances?

      As the descriptions piled up about Ana and her willfulness to 'follow along' with the 'job opportunity'...life skills training- I've not figured out how to describe this 'situation'... I felt a twinge of disgust. (Yes, I have not read the book). Why would someone so bright take on a 'job' that dictated her every move? (regardless of the sex) The Clothes she wore, the car she drove etc. It paints a picture of a woman willing to press the pause button on her integrity and self worth (as initially it was simply a high paying job...to my understanding).

      And.. finally...I wondered how this series in its entirety is any different that fictional fairy tales we all grew up with? Or of other Harlequin-esque themed books? Where woman know better than man, where man is damaged, or is lacking (sensitivity, intelligence), or is too (stubborn, will full, of his own mind), does not know or appreciate love and needs a woman to show him the way... in essence to be changed to fit the 'idea' of the man a woman wants to be in relationship with.

      As stated throughout, I've not read the book, and maybe my response is that of the 'feeble minded' man that has no understanding of the complexities of how to build a relationship? Whatever the case, I need not control the one I love, nor do I need for her to illustrate for me what appreciation looks like, nor do I desire to live in someone else's idea of what I should be.

      This could be a great book, and it could be a very damaging book depending on the maturity and self knowledge of the person reading it. The idea that 20 somethings are running out to the local 'toy' store because they need to 'practice' for when 'their Christian' comes into their life kinda makes me sad that we should be who we are... not who other's want us to be.... it sounds like the book started out with Christian wanting Ana to be something she wasn't, then she decides she believes he can be better/different/changed..... I don't understand a world where I cannot be accepted for who and what I am....

    • Enigmatic Me profile image

      4 years ago from East Coast Canada

      Good work on sharing your ideas on this, and giving others the opportunity to discuss.

    • ambercita04 profile image
      Author

      Amber 4 years ago from Winter Park

      I liked that book because I saw myself in Ana. And I think you got Ana wrong. She was very hesitant about her relationship with Christian because of the control issue. She wanted an relationship that was loving and passionate but also she wanted to be her own woman too. Most of their problems in the book stem from Ana "disobeying" Christian. And that is why Christian fell in love with her rather than his "interns". His interns did what he wanted without question. Ana didn't. She held her own and stayed true to herself. That concept I loved because women need to realize that a guy doesn't want a cookie cutter lover (even if he says he does). He wants a woman that can hold her own, stand up for herself, and be true to who she is as an individual.

      As for Christian, he has control issues because of abuse when he was younger. As a male, he lets his pain show through trying to control, which is a form of protection for those he loves. Ana helped him work through those issues by being her own person, drawing him out, and questioning him.

      I think you should read the books yourself and then see how you feel towards it. Yes they are filled with sex, but that is not what I remember about the books. I remember the relationship part. I loved the books because she kept it real (except for the rich and gorgeous part as well as some of the dramatics). But she kept the relationship aspect real and thats what I could relate to.

      I think the book could have been successful with out the rich and gorgeous aspect because as a writer, E. L. James is quite talented.

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