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Collapse: Surviving Beyond & Back: A Poem

Updated on June 5, 2014

“I need a doctor!

I can't go this way..."

I felt death grip

as my heart gave away.

I couldn't awake

from the torment pressing on,

so I clenched

on the death bed strong.

I heard a voice say,

“There's nothing we can do.”

So I stayed awake

and did all I could do!

------------------------------------------------

but I started slippin' under...

I saw a light

coming like a tunnel.

"Grasp Harder!"

But I began to disembody.

Next thing I knew...

I was over a body.


I saw mom & dad entangled,

hysterical in tears-

a flat-lined screen,

my mom, in her biggest fear.

They were a wreck,

I couldn't understand the pain.

I was completely alive-

more than I've been.


Until it appeared,

a spirit- right then and there.

He said, "Now is not your time"...

... and I cried an angel's tear.

It dropped to the corpse

absorbed in it's skin.

Once again...

I was trapped in him.


The monitor chirped,

I felt a thousand stares.

My pain stricken body,

mourned my presence there.


I laid in agony.

I didn't think it was possible.

I awoke there to hear the doctor say-

“Impossible!”



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    • LVidoni5 profile imageAUTHOR

      Brian Loewer 

      5 years ago from Portland, Oregon

      Thanks Ranzi. Well I didn't mean to scare ya! Haha, hope you got right back to sleep. Appreciate the comment.

    • Ranzi profile image

      Cut The Bullshit 

      5 years ago from All Over

      Wow.. nice poem. I even got scared and had to get out of bed and turn on the lights.

    • profile image

      JinnyMarte 

      6 years ago

      Yeah I love that show. The stories they present are really marvelous. Some of them real miracles. It was a very clever idea... Again, really awesome job on this one.

    • LVidoni5 profile imageAUTHOR

      Brian Loewer 

      6 years ago from Portland, Oregon

      Hey Jinny, well thanks a lot I'm glad you liked it. These kind of stories always fascinated me, I got the idea from the show "I survived beyond and back."

    • profile image

      JinnyMarte 

      6 years ago

      I have heard so many stories about situations like this but this is so vivid. It is possible to recreate the imagery in such brightness through your words. Really brilliant use of the observer and descriptions of the different emotions...

      Really awesome work. Loved it!

    • LVidoni5 profile imageAUTHOR

      Brian Loewer 

      6 years ago from Portland, Oregon

      Thanks so much Sue!

    • profile image

      Sueswan 

      6 years ago

      "... and I cried an Angel's tear.

      It dropped to the corpse

      absorbed in it's skin.

      Once again...

      I was trapped in him."

      Amazing imagery!

      Voted up and awesome

    • LVidoni5 profile imageAUTHOR

      Brian Loewer 

      6 years ago from Portland, Oregon

      Nice Sky. So you were a graffiti artist huh? I've always wanted to do that. I really appreciate that kind of art. I've only tried it on 4x8 ply wood, which almost defeats its purpose.

      Thanks a lot V!

    • profile image

      V Qisya 

      6 years ago

      Wow, this is real good, Brian. Simply awesome!

      Up and away :D

    • Sky9106 profile image

      Sky9106 

      6 years ago from A beautiful place on earth.

      Merry Christmas to you also Brian.

      That guy had been drawing things all over NYC, THE SUBWAYS AND ON BUILDINGS , LIKE GRAFFITI. Now he is one of the most sought after, his art is everywhere , on buses , billboards , trains movies.

      Bless.

    • LVidoni5 profile imageAUTHOR

      Brian Loewer 

      6 years ago from Portland, Oregon

      Hey there Sky, Well I'm glad you enjoyed and had to sit for this one. I always enjoy reading your responses to my poems. I haven't heard of the artists, I'll have to google him. Thank for all the great words.

      Simplicity thanks so much for reading this one. I'm glad you thought so, I really appreciate your input.

      Merry Christmas to you both! -- Brian

    • Simplicity4All profile image

      Simplicity4All 

      6 years ago from Rhode Island, USA

      Breathetaking, thats all I can say, amazing!

    • Sky9106 profile image

      Sky9106 

      6 years ago from A beautiful place on earth.

      There you go and I feel the distance, so I grabbed my chair also , but then I realized I was only reading one of your poems, it had me there.

      I made a big smile for a minute and then it was back to business of reading.

      As the come write them. The art , you are reminding me of Gustabi Met him in NY.

      Great work.

      Bless.

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