ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Confessions Of A Hubaddict...

Updated on December 15, 2011
Honest, I just use the one finger...
Honest, I just use the one finger...

Hi, my name is Chris, and I'm addicted to hubpages..."

"Hi Chris."

Glad I have that out in the open.

I started off small, gateway hubs as it were, stuff I'd posted on my website but nobody read. It was about six, maybe seven months ago. A nice lady read a couple and made a comment.

Even better

She sent me fan mail...

I had progressed from having a reader to having a fan. And I had a follower, a bona fide, honest to goodness person who wanted to read more. She was joined in short order by a few more friendly people and I settled into a routine of writing four hubs a week.

I'd repay the favors shown to me by reading the hubs of those who were giving me the positives, following those I knew I'd want to keep up with, send a bit of fan mail myself, and hop at least ten hubs every time I posted.

The habit was growing...

One hour a day had grown into three, sometimes four, with jittery visits to my inbox to see if anyone had read my stuff, or someone was responding to a comment I had made.

But I could control it.

I knew I could stop anytime I wanted.

It wasn't a problem or anything.

The house still got cleaned and I still checked the job sites for a real position.

True, I'd sneak into my office just before I went to bed to check messages and speak to my Australian friends, and first thing in the morning I'd fire up the mac to see who was up and running, but, still not a problem.

I was getting my stuff from England, Ireland, and all over the US…

Then it all went hardcore.

I was reading poetry. I mean its not that I didn't like poetry, but I wouldn't go visit it in hospital either. And this wonderful lady traps me with her words and images that end up luring you deep into her beautiful world. Not only that, she writes long and meaningful responses to hubs that more than once have come close to making me get in my car and drive the gazillion miles to Texas to give her a darned hug!

And then there were the funny people. They understood me, kindred souls, (do satirists have souls? discuss...) but by feeding my habit with daily weird and the banter that started to fly back and forth between us all, meant there was little time left to actually write hubs.

Now humor is not a moneymaker, so I wasn’t like a dealer or anything, but I was craving so much more than money. Those little accolade icons became a bit of a problem for me. I needed a full set. I'd look at those one hundred hubscore people, and covet those little symbols. Ten hubs was a milestone, and the "Chris writes particularly engaging hubs" was like a hit of crack cocaine.

I finally recognized that I had a problem.

Winning three different hub nugget competitions didn't make life any easier (Yeah, thanks for that, guys…), traffic went up, comments became a regular thing and I started to notice my own hubscore. Creeping through the eighties, to become a regular in the nineties, all this just exacerbated an already critical issue.

So, I sent myself to hubcamp...

A balmy Sunday afternoon in Los Angeles had me meeting a small group of hubbers, and that was great. The problem was the headliners. The actual founders of hubpages...and they had read my stuff...and they spoke to me!

It didn't matter that they showed me graphs of how few people read humor, and that monetizing my hubs was akin to getting a fish to sing, not impossible but...

I was a hubber.

I listened and concentrated and edited my hubs, adding amazon links and titles that were more searchable. I encouraged a few new hubbers, knowing full well that my habit was being fed by theirs.

Then I got overly ambitious. I had 96 followers. The one hundred globe was in sight. My hubfriends generously eviscerated me in public, in a humorous and loving way, you understand, teasing me about my hubscore of 98 (a fluke as it turns out) and then, one magical day. One Hundred. The ton. The accolade globe.

I cry a little.

Tears of joy.

I went to bed happy and full of love for fellow hubbers.

I rushed up at the crack of dawn to look once again.


I'd lost one!

Oh, the humanity...

Sensing my despair my hubscore plummets to ninety-three and I have a host of little blue arrows pointing down.

But do I succumb?

Not this hubber.

I crank out some really funny hubs, much to some of my colleagues' disdain, leaving them rolling on their laughing floors, asses completely laughed off, and creep back up into the high nineties and follower one hundred, followed by several friends...

Now I obsess over the buttons. Nearly five hundred funnies, over two hundred awesomes, oh, how good they make me feel, but then I worry, only twenty three beautifuls...

Wait, what?

Were those people smoking something… Are they nuts?

I aim to be awesomely funny most of the time, and there is that one series of serious, so I guess I’ve earned a few usefuls, but really, unless you are button-lexic there is no way you are going to click beautiful. But hey, I’ll take it.

A hit’s a hit, right?

And then there’s the worry over your followers, do they remember to click as well as comment? I mean, I know I’ve forgotten every now and then. So, I forgive you. But let's take a little break here for a click or two.

Go on. Scroll down. I’ll wait…


I’m on my way to hub 100, then I’ll take a break, you know rest the funny bone, relax the old typing finger…

Or not…

I mean its not like I’ve turned down paying jobs or anything. I’m not on the streets selling body parts, I’m an aficionado. I'm not a junkie, I'm a fan, a bona fide hubber…

Who is just the teensiest, tiniest, bit semi-addicted…

Oh, who am I kidding…

Dear Hub Reader

If you enjoy this hub, please check out my book,

Homo Domesticus; A Life Interrupted By Housework,

A collection of my best writings woven into a narrative on a very strange year in my life.

Available directly from:



This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)