Coping With Grief And The Loss Of a Loved One
Our Own Thoughts
Losing a loved one is one of the worst feelings a human being could experience. Since we are born, we are not aware that our time on this planet is limited. By age four or five, we start hearing of a 'departure' that doesn't affect us. We start hearing from our parents words like, "Yeah grandpa was an excellent mandolin player," and we do not worry much until we watch 'Charlotte's web.' Gulp!
By age six or seven we are heading to grammar school and start realising that we have parents that care. The next stage, unpredictable at times, is the loss of a pet. We, as little kids start asking questions and even realize frantically that we are going to go to 'heaven' one day. Parents try to find ways to make it easier on us by arranging the "funeral." By that time Snoopy, Disney or other Networks filled our lives with joy and proper care. We all were kids and we know we have love and support from our loved ones. "Yes Dorothy, you are still in Kansas and not in Pandora."
So, we said loved ones? We have came up with a sociological formula. The more you felt that love, the more the grief would last, when is time to say goodbye. A directly proportional impact that has been instilled in us from the beginning of times.
We have heard that energy doesn't disappear but changes forms. This could mean that when someone dies, somewhere over the world, a new hope is born. The action reaction of this human chain of love and loss, is only understood by God. We just tried to grasp the inner feelings of this, but we got lost in philosophical and enthralling thoughts.
We start seeing our parents getting older. Brothers and sister get married. Just take in consideration that you have already spent 18 Christmas, 18 Halloweens and 18 Thanksgivings around your loved ones (How about 65 times 3?) . Pictures will be there to remind you of the good times and, well, bad ones too. You have reached adulthood and for the very first time you think death is 40 or 50 years in the future.
This is when teenagers get wild and start driving like 'demon possessed.' We always said that we are where we come from, and that premise will be put to the test when time to cope with a loss one knocks our door.
If you've ever seen dog losing another pal, you just hear some moaning and desperation. We have our distinctive way of grieving. Tears are there and our whole body starts reacting depending on how 'deep' you loved that person.
"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit."
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How to cope then...
Certainly, we all know that we are going to deal with this mourning sooner than later. They talk about staying healthy and being always thankful for what you have. We have learned to take every day at a time. Every hub at a time in our case. Every human being is a different little project from our creator.
We came to into this world for a reason and we should study ourselves when the time comes to deal with losing a loved one. Just remember, you have the memory of a lifetime in your photo albums and now the net holding your mind against the wall.
So how can we Cope with a loss?
- You should get your spirituality together, no matter what your religion may be.
- If not religious at all, try to make a connection in the spiritual level. You know better.
- Get busy with an extra activity you just put on hold: Gym, piano lessons, guitar or simply writing in here.
- Share your loss with others and become more appreciative for what you have
- Get closer to family members that may become your support for a lifetime. Try to overcome grudges or resentment.
- You may consider joining a cause or a foundation. You will feel that inner blessing.
- Reward yourself with sometime you can afford. Maybe a trip or a gift for you or for others.
Final Words from the Heart
These tips are from the heart and we haven't even thought about them ourselves, until we were done. Why giving and sharing is important? Deep inside we are trying to capture the moments, the happiest moments we lived before those mortgages payments... or the 'other woman' in some cases. Unconsciously we are staging those moments from our childhood, when we were fishing, flying that kite or hitting that home run.
The joy of life recaptured was priceless and still is. We should be thankful just to wake up every morning with a mission in this world. Can you imagine your body, your eyes, your hair? All this miraculous machinery ready to face the world?(no batteries required!). We take for granted our own lives and is time to stay positive and regain that peace within.