Copy 18 using Louis Dudek 'When You Die of All Our Loves' as a guide...
April is Poetry Month
I'm so caught up in poetry, I'm living it this month. So far I've managed to write one a day. This poem is from Day 18. I wrote it from a prompt in a challenge I'm doing.
I took a poem written and translated by Louis Dudek, and used it as a guide to write my own poem.
The poem I picked was entirely random, taken from one of my High school poetry text books; Poetry of Our Time edited by Louis Dudek.
My Dudek
Leave me a sign before you go away
Though there is no beauty or truth in us
Or in the lies we tell, better not to ask why
If none of me remains with you
In the end we die of love
You may tell them eventually
And you may die in ecstasy
It will remain a mystery
All those roads we travelled
far from ruined joy
The key has been my undoing
And you may die of love
I wait for a sign of your gentle leaving
I'll be gone too as I take my turn at ending
We are books, we die of love
I ask only if I may, that you go easy
And feel joy when you hear this song
In years along it will remind you of that time
You nearly died of love
A flower blossoms, the scent is sweet
It hurts me, I stumble
I have only paper and ink
I will plant a garden when you die of love.
Daily Prompt Day 18 - http://www.napowrimo.net/
"First, find a poem in a book or magazine (ideally one you are not familiar with). Use a piece of paper to cover over everything but the last line. Now write a line of your own that completes the thought of that single line you can see, or otherwise responds to it. Now move your piece of paper up to uncover the second-to-last line of your source poem, and write the second line of your new poem to complete/respond to this second-to-last line. Keep going, uncovering and writing, until you get to the first line of your source poem, which you will complete/respond to as the last line of your new poem. It might not be a finished draft, but hopefully it at least contains the seeds of one."
When You Die of All Our Loves (Translation by Louis Dudek)
When you die of all our loves
I shall go and plant in the garden
A flower to bloom some fine morning
Half of metal and half of paper
To hurt my foot just a trifle
So you may die a death most sweet
That a flower might blossom
When you die of all our loves
I shall make in fashion of that time
A song to be sung for seven years
You will hear it, you will learn it
And your lips will thank me for it
And you will die a death most easy
So that I may do so
When you die of all our loves
I shall make of it two beautiful books
That they may serve you as a tomb
And I shall lie there in my turn
For I shall die on that same day
O may you die a death most gentle
In waiting for them
When you die of all our loves
I shall go and hang myself with the key
From the hasp of all our ruined joys
And the many roads conquered by us
Though no one will ever know by whom
And you may die a death most exquisite
So that I may tell them
When you die of all our loves
If too little remains with you
Then do not ask me why
In all the falsehoods that would ensue
We would be neither beautiful nor true
But you may die a death most gay
So that I might follow you
© 2018 Verlie Burroughs
Related
The reasons why we should write poetry:an acrostic poem for National Poetry Month
The child who was shot dead by soldiers and the tragic life of Ingrid Jonker
Lucifer and the Morning Star: National Poetry Month and a Poem
An Afrikaans Poem and the end of a love: “Ballade van die Nagtelike Ure” by N.P. Van Wyk Louw
Comments
- AUTHOR
Genna, thank you for your reading, and your lovely comment.
The Napowrimo 30 poems in 30-days journey has really stretched me as a writer, and I needed that.
How very clever, beautiful and imaginative. And what cool challenges in the Napowrimo 30 poems in 30-days journey. "Take the path less traveled" is so appropriate. You are a consummate artist of words, Verlie, who travels that path. One of the best. :-)
- AUTHOR
Peg, your comment is most appreciated, only a few days left of poetry month, the daily prompts bring out something different every time. Thanks so much.
- AUTHOR
Thank you Paula, thanks for reading twice :)
I LOVE your Dudek and your described method for creating a new poem is intriguing and masterful.
These are among my favorite lines:
"I ask only if I may, that you go easy
And feel joy when you hear this song."
Verlie....There's something very moving and intense that comes from your magic pen. I read through this once and then again......so I can be certain, the power lingers.....
Peace, Paula
- AUTHOR
Well that's encouraging, thank you so much. I will see what I can come up with for you dear reader.
LOL... novel, poetry, both...?!!! As long as you are writing it, I'll be at the head of the sales line, dear V :)
- AUTHOR
Hi Maria, you're so sweet, I can always feel the love when you're around. A book! What a novel idea :)
No offense to Mr. Dudek but I am drawn to your interpretation, dear V.
I do hope you plan to compile this collection - it would be wonderful to have a volume of your poetry to treasure, as I do you. Love, Maria
- AUTHOR
Mike, thank you so much. I don't know what I do without you! :)
I really enjoyed writing this poem. It is so different from my usual, and seemed like a really good writing exercise. I love both poems now.
Hello Verlie - Your poem is wonderful. It carries the sense of the mystery in the world and love, now just out of grasp. All you 'have is pen and ink,' but they are tools that you have mastered.
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