Hubber Tag: Chapter One....Bobbi Joe Meets Missy Sue
So here is the deal! What you are about to read is the first chapter in an ongoing crazy story. It is complete nonsense brought to you by yours truly. The second chapter will be the work of TToombs and she will do with it as she sees fit. There are no rules to this game. If you are chosen to write one of the chapters then go for it and have a blast!
When TT is done she will pass it on to another Hubber who will continue the legacy. The rest of us will just sit back and enjoy the fun.
Are you ready?
BOBBI JOE IS HIS/HER NAME
It’s all a bit confusing. Bobbi Joe (don’t call him Bobby) is a transvestite. He’s out of the closet so don’t worry about letting it slip (yes, he wears one) because Bobbi Joe is perfectly secure in his transvestite lifestyle. He once was one of the best rugby players in the world but now he leans towards synchronized swimming with his pals at the YWCA. Don’t ask, don’t tell!
Bobbi Joe works as a camp counselor for the Boys AND Girls Club in Skokie, Illinois. The job keeps him hopping because of the constant wardrobe changes between camp sessions. Cabin A, wear jeans and a WWF sweatshirt. Camp B, wear flip flops, dangle ear rings and a hoop skirt. It can drive a guy/gal crazy on the best of days but Bobbi Joe is always upbeat….some would say perky…as he/she approaches each workday.
His/her specialty is calf-roping, not an easy task in a hoop skirt; such is the talent that this man/woman possesses. When wearing the hoop skirt, Bobbi Joe simply staples the edges of the skirt to his/her legs, thus insuring that the skirt won’t be a hindrance while bringing down that steer. It also insures that Bobbi Joe will go down in history as one of the toughest competitors in this rodeo specialty.
MISSY SUE IS HER NAME
Hailing from Charles City, Iowa, Missy Sue was born Melissa, but at the age of three she informed her parents that from that day hence she would be known as Missy Sue. Her parents, always eager to encourage independence in their daughter, gladly went to court to legally change Melissa’s name.
Missy Sue is twenty-two years old, a headstrong girl who can shoot the eyes out of a gopher from 100 yards and bake the best hamburger casserole that you will ever taste. There have been rumors that maybe that hamburger ain’t hamburger but rather the gophers that Missy Sue hunts, but so far those are unsubstantiated rumors at best. If it smells like hamburger, looks like hamburger and tastes like hamburger, it must be hamburger, right?
Missy Sue doesn’t date much. Some believe it is because of her prowess with a rifle. Other attribute this lack of romance on a rather large wart on Missy Sue’s chin, a wart that closely resembles a tomato gone bad. Whatever the reason, she spends a great deal of her time reading Field and Stream Magazine and emailing Chef Fabio for tips on road kill recipes.
All of that changed the day she met Bobbi Joe!
These two misfits met in the small town of Akiachak, Alaska, on the 4th of July. Before you go all patriotic on us, remember that the 4th of July is not recognized as a national holiday in Akiachak. Instead, they spend that day skinning beavers for the annual Beaver Days Celebration held each year the third Sunday in July.
Bobbi Joe was in Akiachak as a hired hand at a caribou ranch. His/her prowess as a calf-roper had earned him/her a summer job, complete with a title of “Caribou Roper Foreman.” He/she was quite proud of that title and for long hours each day he/she could be seen out on the tundra wrestling with caribou and bringing them back to the ranch.
Missy Sue was in Akiachak to learn from legendary Inuit Chef She-Of Little-Brain. The Chef, or Chef Brain, as she preferred to be called, was giving demonstrations all summer long on proper preparation and cooking of muskox. Considered by many to be a delicacy, muskox, as you well know, must be cooked to perfection or it will cause sterility in males after being digested. Since Missy Sue was having a tough time finding a date, she sure didn’t want to make matters worse by accidently sterilizing some man she was cooking for.
Missy Sue achieved certain notoriety early on in Akiachak. Her rather prominent wart was looked upon by the Inuits as a blessing from their god Itakeibhorbreekeorge, a sign of the Chosen One. Bobbi Joe was looked upon as a “Special Person” and as such was treated with respect but always from a distance.
And so it was, one day, when Bobbi Joe literally ran into Missy Sue. He/she was chasing down a caribou and, without knowing that Missy Sue was in the vicinity, ran smack dab into her as she was dressing out a muskox she had recently killed.
It was a match which, if not made in heaven, certainly carried great significance. How could either of them know what was about to happen? How could either of them know that their lives had just reached one of those forks in the road, a detour if you will, and that all they had considered normal was about to change.
TO BE CONTINUED…..BY…..TTOOMBS08
2012 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)
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