Dear Mommy, Why do you hate me?

Dear Mommy,

I'm only 5, why don't you cuddle me at night when I'm scared? Do you care if I feel safe?

Why don't your fix my hair before school? Do you care if my hair's all messy

Why don't you give me hugs and kisses? Don't you even care about me at all?

Why don't you ever tell me you love me? Do you hate me?

I was accepted into the Oregon Children's Choir... I did a solo tonight in front of hundreds of people. Dad was so proud of me! I know he was because he gave me a big hug after the concert and he told me so. I waited for you to be proud too, but instead, you told me I sang too quietly and that they should have chosen someone who has more experience.... that really hurt my feelings, mom. It took a lot of courage for me to sing in front of hundreds of strangers!

Mom,

I'm 12 now.... I started my period and I was so scared! I thought I was bleeding to death! My friend Leah's mom was very sweet, she sat me down and explained it all to me. She acted like it was a big deal for moms to be involved in this stuff. She seemed really surprised that you hadn't already prepared me for this. Mom, why didn't you talk to me about becoming a woman? Do you care if I'm confused and scared?

I got almost straight A's on my report card. Just like when I was little, daddy told me how proud he is of me.... he gave me $10 for each A... and you rolled your eyes and said "You son:t pay them for doing what they are supposed to do." I'm finally starting to accept the fact that you just obviously don't think I'm anything special or great... In fact you treat me like I'm a burden to you!

Why don't you tell me I'm pretty? Do you think I'm ugly?

Why don't you ask me what I want to do after Highschool? Do you care?

Dear Mom,

I'm 38 now...

Why did you kill the lucky bamboo I got you for Mother's Daik I'm a burden y? Does that represent our relationship?

Why do you criticize my parenting and every move I make? Do you think I'm a shitty mother? Do you not think I'm capab

Why don't you ever hug me? Do you even care about me?

Why don't you ever compliment me? Can't you think of one?

Why don't you ever come to visit? Do you not care about what or how I'm doing?

Why don't you support my decisions on anything? Do you think all my choices are wrong?

Why do you act like you hate me? Do you?

Why don't you ever acknowledge my accomplishments? Aren't you proud of anything I do?

Maybe if you had told me you loved me and that I was pretty, I would love myself... Maybe I wouldn't have settled for men who treated me like shit....

Maybe if you had told me I was smart and supported me once in awhile, I wouldn't have always felt like I wasn't good enough....

Maybe if you acted interested in something I did once in awhile, I would have self confidence, and I would try a little harder in life...

Maybe if I didn't think my own mother dispized me, I would be a happier person...

I need to be free from this toxicity... I need to know that it's her, not me.

I need to know I'm worthy of love, she just doesn't know how to give it.

I need to be free from her judgement, and trust in my decisions.

I need to be happy and know that I'm good enough..... Cause it's not me, it's her.