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Criminal Fail & Burning the Chicken (Limericks)

Updated on July 7, 2012

Follow Instructions and Think!

Have you ever watched those Cop shows, where the criminals do the dumbest things imaginable? I sure have and they are hilarious! Why are people so dumb when it comes to performing criminal acts? You would think that they would have been planning for long periods of time and have gone through every little detail so as to not get caught. I mean isn't that the one major goal in crime, the top priority, to not get caught?

What about cooking shows? Have you ever watched the contestants lose because they messed up on their entree? Haven't they been cooking for years and studying intensely for these exact moments? Why do these things happen?

The next time you want to commit a crime, sit down and at least do some brainstorming. I mean this is the make it or break it moment for all of you criminals. One wrong move and you are toast! Remember the cops are not your friends; they will arrest you if they catch up with you. If you are going to cook something, remember to follow directions to a "T", or you will end up losing the cooking show contest to that one slob who seems to have barely made it through college. Or even worse yet, you may be resorting to eating cereal for dinner with the family. That won't make Mr. Dad too happy!

Criminal Fail

The robber was determined not to fail

No one in sight and no one on his tail

Into the bank he did run

Forgetting to bring his gun

The cops were soon there and threw him in jail

Source

Burning The Chicken

I turned on the stove and began to read

Maybe I should not have performed this deed

Because I soon fell asleep

Which meant I missed the stove beep

Now the poor chicken was burnt as can be

Source

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    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Rajan,

      I totally agree with you buddy!

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 5 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      Josh I think the heat of the moment gets on with some and they do what they would not have under normal conditions.

      Loved this beautiful limerick.

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Nell,

      Thanks for your visit! Yes, the poor chicken! :(

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Julie,

      Haha, too funny! :)

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      So funny! lol! that poor chicken! voted up! cheers nell

    • Julie DeNeen profile image

      Blurter of Indiscretions 5 years ago from Clinton CT

      I've burned a few chickens in my day..but haven't left my gun at home :P

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Gypsy,

      Yes I am sure it was good, once! LOL Thanks for your continual support, I appreciate it!

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 5 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up and funny. Good one Josh. I loved the chicken one and it looked so good once. lol

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Ann,

      LOL, thanks for reading and I am right with you in that regard! :)

    • Ann1Az2 profile image

      Ann1Az2 5 years ago from Orange, Texas

      I think it's probably a good thing that I'm not a criminal, nor good enough to be on a cooking show! lol

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      No I just say it alot. It doesn't hold any weight. I say it random people and my loyal followers so don't blame me without proof! Lol :)

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 5 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      lmao! I happen to know that when you say "Thanks for stopping by!" your true meaning is "I'm just being nice, I wish you would have either left me a more valuable comment or just passed on by and not even waved. So, take your lame comment and go bother someone that cares." :)

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks for stopping by! Always smile when I see you in my notification feed! :). And that is a fantastic idea! Thank you(lightbulb!) Lol

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 5 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      Josh, not bad. :) But, I'm with Bill, I'd like to see you explore other writing styles to see what you can come up with. How about a funny commercial for your Gourmet PB&J Restaurant? :)

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks Kelley, I appreciate it! :)

    • profile image

      kelleyward 5 years ago

      Great hub josh3418. I needed a good laugh. Shared with others! Take care, Kelley

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks Joyce, I appreciate it! :) You are too kind!

    • writer20 profile image

      Joyce Haragsim 5 years ago from Southern Nevada

      I enjoyed your limerick it is really funny, Joyce.

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks glad you liked the limerick!

    • p10kabhijita profile image

      Abhijit Aswath 5 years ago from India

      Very interesting limericks! I dabbled into writing limericks recently, and it's great to read limericks on such unique topics. Voted up and interesting!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Bill, I am going too, I was just writing these until I was inspired! LOL

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      HAHA, thanks for that comment Becki! It cracked me up!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks Docmo, I was trying to capture the stupidity, so I am glad you realized it! :)

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks teaches for stopping by, and I am glad you enjoyed my limkericks, I enjoy writing them!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Linda,

      I don't think they are thinking LOL

      Thanks for reading Linda, and I am glad you enjoyed it! :)

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      M, thanks for the votes and comments! I appreciate your continued support!

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Janine. glad you enjoyed it and thank you for stopping by! Thanks for the votes and continued support!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      CWB, haha thanks for sharing, too funny! Glad you enjoyed it and thank you for the votes!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      fpherj48, thanks for stopping by! Glad you enjoyed it! :) Thanks for stopping by and commenting and voting. Yes, crimes are never perfect!

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Oh Mandar, sorry, when did you send it? I will check today! Thanks for the votes!

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Good job nephew! You know what I'd love to see? I'd love to see you push yourself to another dimension in writing. Think about it! Ya got potential dude!

    • shiningirisheyes profile image

      Shining Irish Eyes 5 years ago from Upstate, New York

      "I see dumb people. They are all around me and don't know they are dumb yet".

    • Docmo profile image

      Mohan Kumar 5 years ago from UK

      The dossier of dumb criminals and incinerated entrees runs long and dense. Josh, thank s for capturing the sheer ineptitude of such wannabe criminals and cooks in these two delightful limericks. wonderful!

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      I enjoyed your reasoning on writing these poems. I have seen the cooking show, and yes, it does amaze one that they mess up a completely simple dish. I can relate.. been there. Your poems are such a great fun look at this truth.

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      I enjoy stupid criminal shows! I wonder what the heck they were thinking or were they even thinking? Obviously not!! Our local news has shown quite a few and I laugh!!! I also laughed at your limericks!!! You sure know how to rock a limerick!!:)

    • unknown spy profile image

      IAmForbidden 5 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up.

      all my votes J. very creative of you, and so funny

    • Janine Huldie profile image

      Janine Huldie 5 years ago from New York, New York

      Wow, another awesome Hub Josh. Definitely wouldn't have thought of this angle with robbers getting caught or cooks that lose the contest, but love it, because it truly made me sit up and think first thing this morning. Of course voted up and shared too!!

    • Civil War Bob profile image

      Civil War Bob 5 years ago from Glenside, Pennsylvania

      Good job, Josh...voted up and funny...I once got so engrossed in a war movie that I let a pan of sauerkraut burn...PHEWW! ;p

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      There is no perfect crime...never has been...at least "on purpose, via careful planning"....the jerks who get away with it can thank the screw-ups by law enforcement.....(a.k.a, default!) Basically....if you have crime on your schedule.....take your chances and hope for really dumb investigators......otherwise, don't even try.

      That poor little chicken has seen better days!! Clever limericks, Josh! Up and funny

    • mandarmk9 profile image

      Mandar Karandikar 5 years ago from Ratlam, India

      Wonderful limericks Josh. I really loved both of them.......Didn't you receive my limerick? If u did, I'm waiting for your views. If u didn't, inform me.... I am eager. (Voted up and funny)

      :) Mandar

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks for stopping by! Yeah I have to agree with you, that chicken would not be tasty LOL

    • Jools99 profile image

      Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK

      OMG, I'm glad I'm not eating at that barbecue :o) Fun limericks Josh :o)

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Ok thanks Michelle! I appreciate it! :)

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 5 years ago from Singapore

      Well, it is a good thing! You should be thinking about things that don't occur to people, and write about them. Gives a little food for thought. Continue exploring!

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Is that a good thing? LOL Thanks so much for being so loyal to me, and I hope I am returning the favor.

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 5 years ago from Singapore

      No prob, you do have interesting topic ideas. Not the things someone thinks about until they're brought up, so that's a sign of an interesting angle.

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thank you Michelle! I appreciate your continual support! :)

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 5 years ago from Singapore

      Indeed, people fail to think through...perhaps it's the intense pressure. And with the criminal, they're already performing misdeeds! The prssure's even more intense. Interesting topic for a limerick, Limerick Man!