Crow on the Roof (A Poetic Parody)

If I were a rich crow

I wouldn't have to scavenge for nuts and berries all day

I wouldn't have to avoid oncoming cars or be chased away

I would just bathe and splash in a fountain of water

Or fly over the ocean, hang on the utility wires and play

Yabba Dabba Doo Hey Hey

Yabba Dabba Dee Hee Hee

I would build a big nest

Make that six big ones way up high

On sturdy branches made from grass, leaves and trigs

Lined with moss, flowers and fur

And a big screen TV to watch Animal Planet and the Thorn Birds

I'd fill my nests with babies

And all sorts of edible crap

Candy wrappers, stale brioche and challah

A Philly cheesesteak, nachos and curly fries

Bibity Bibity Bop Bibity Boo

Boobity Boobity Doo

And my rich crow wife, Lady Bird

With her queenly beak and presidential tail

Would supervise ravens and pigeons day and night

And eat gourmet bird feed to her hearts delight

If I were a rich crow

I'd be the wisest bird of them all

All the other birds would do my scavenging

Bring me their questions and concerns

Like Buddha or Ghandi with wings.

God of the Crow I ask

Would be so wealthy be so bad?

If I were as rich as a Rockefeather or Marc Zuckerbird

Would it spoil your universal plan?

If I were a wealthy crow

Biddy Biddy Bum Caw Caw Squawk Squawk

Diddy Diddy Doo Splat Splat Awk Awk