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Crow on the Roof (A Poetic Parody)

Updated on June 8, 2017
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If I Were a Rich Crow

If I were a rich crow

I wouldn't have to scavenge for nuts and berries all day

I wouldn't have to avoid oncoming cars or be chased away

I would just bathe and splash in a fountain of water

Or fly over the ocean, hang on the utility wires and play

Yabba Dabba Doo Hey Hey

Yabba Dabba Dee Hee Hee


I would build a big nest

Make that six big ones way up high

On sturdy branches made from grass, leaves and trigs

Lined with moss, flowers and fur

And a big screen TV to watch Animal Planet and the Thorn Birds


I'd fill my nests with babies

And all sorts of edible crap

Candy wrappers, stale brioche and challah

A Philly cheesesteak, nachos and curly fries

Bibity Bibity Bop Bibity Boo

Boobity Boobity Doo


And my rich crow wife, Lady Bird

With her queenly beak and presidential tail

Would supervise ravens and pigeons day and night

And eat gourmet bird feed to her hearts delight


If I were a rich crow

I'd be the wisest bird of them all

All the other birds would do my scavenging

Bring me their questions and concerns

Like Buddha or Ghandi with wings.


God of the Crow I ask

Would be so wealthy be so bad?

If I were as rich as a Rockefeather or Marc Zuckerbird

Would it spoil your universal plan?

If I were a wealthy crow

Biddy Biddy Bum Caw Caw Squawk Squawk

Diddy Diddy Doo Splat Splat Awk Awk

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    • Mark Tulin profile imageAUTHOR

      Mark Tulin 

      13 months ago from Santa Barbara, California

      Thanks Tim, I often think about what it would be like to be rich every time I drive past those enormous homes in Montecito on the way to the YMCA.

    • tsmog profile image

      Tim Mitchell 

      13 months ago from Escondido, CA

      Awesome read. I enjoyed the parody while thinking what it would be like to be rich.

    • Mark Tulin profile imageAUTHOR

      Mark Tulin 

      13 months ago from Santa Barbara, California

      Thanks for reading, Louise. I'm definitely a crow person.

    • Coffeequeeen profile image

      Louise Powles 

      13 months ago from Norfolk, England

      That'a a great parody. I really enjoyed reading that. Crows are such lovely birds.

    • Mark Tulin profile imageAUTHOR

      Mark Tulin 

      14 months ago from Santa Barbara, California

      Thanks John. Those are two rich birds.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 

      14 months ago from Queensland Australia

      What a fun parody. I especially love this line "If I were as rich as a Rockefeather or Marc Zuckerbird". Good job.

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