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Crumbling Walls

Updated on October 07, 2012
Contemplation
Contemplation | Source


Fights – tell me why, why the lipstick in your truck

Work baby – its only work, trust me you need to.

Dinners sat and cold, counters covered in cellophane

Im sorry honey, I had to stay after work and help, trust me.

Its to build a future for our – another is on the way

The phone I hid just like the phone you hid in the bathroom.

Insecticide on these walls, they heard it all

The fights – the lights, they went out in a flash

Family
Family | Source


The baby came home, a second one to make three

Everything I did was for us, our family

I worked hard to give you what you wanted – don’t you see

Don’t you see I did all this for you – the pushing and nagging

I am the one who has sacrificed to let you have what you wanted

These walls, they saw it all – the tears, the sobbing

Lonely walls bled green to brighten lives buried under centuries

The tears were missed – covered in photographs of others


Mold covered tiles just fell into the water

Children played in the dark murk left behind

The doors decayed, the roof fallen in and the yard dirty

Warmth on bedsheets warned that another heard heard heard

The crack in the foundation was covered and hidden

But the walls saw it all – they knew they were beyond repair

The walls – they didn’t see the games the losses the cost

The cost of the games that kept me in these walls – they saw it all

Littered yard
Littered yard | Source


The walls are coming down and the truth is coming - fallen on

Bluebirds lost and weeds burned to the ground

Burdens ripped apart with the brick walls and dead wires

Tossed aside and left to rust – the remains of ancestors in the grass

These walls saw it all – the love the loss the hate the tears the years

These walls say a fond farewell to the only one who truly cared

The walls will fall, I won’t be here to hear them cry as they come down

They know I feel like I was never really home and we're okay now

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    • TheManWithNoPants profile image

      TheManWithNoPants 4 years ago from Tucson, Az.

      WOW! I'm freaking impressed! You grabbed the bull by the horns and kicked em in the nuts. Hope the right person reads it.

      Good work. Keep it coming!

      jim

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Wow! Ardie, the wait was worth it! This is as powerful a poem as I have read in nine months on HP! Bravo my friend! I don't know if this is about a real person, or a random thought on your part, but man oh man, did you just capture a real life drama.

      I am stunned by this and believe me, I haven't said that very often in nine months.

      sharing

    • Curiad profile image

      Mark G Weller 4 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

      Amazing Ardie, Like Bill I don't know if this is speaking about personal trials or is fictional but it is as real as it can get!

    • stephhicks68 profile image

      Stephanie Hicks 4 years ago from Bend, Oregon

      I am totally with Bill - I normally do not read poems on HP, but this one was out of the park. Wow. Just wow. Steph

    • jaydene profile image

      jaydene 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      This is very riveting. the way so many of us have felt. amazing job

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

      Exceptional poem. Very close to my heart. I experienced a great love story with a wonderful person. But we were individuals. Scorpions do sting and they do have poisons. Things to remember if one likes scorpions.

    • xstatic profile image

      Jim Higgins 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

      Bill nailed it on this one alright. It is great. Powerful writing here.

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Breath taking Ardie! This is quite awesome!

    • American View profile image

      American View 4 years ago from Plano, Texas

      Freaking amazing!!! By far your best, heartfelt writing yet. Extremely Awesome!!

    • profile image

      kelleyward 4 years ago

      Hi, Ardie, I'm with Steph here I rarely read poems but this was had me from the first line. Wow the intensity you described here is earth shattering. Voted up! Kelley

    • TheManWithNoPants profile image

      TheManWithNoPants 4 years ago from Tucson, Az.

      I'm privaledged to be close to you. You've walked through hell the last 9 years and came out the other side. Now you have a great future and you'd better not blow it! lol

      jim

    • jonmcclusk profile image

      Jonathan McCloskey 4 years ago from Cinnaminson, New Jersey

      This is superb, Ardie, I'm real glad you've decided to write more poetry. This gave me a few ideas for new works and I can't wait to get started. Lovely poem with powerful feelings that I can really feel.

    • ImKarn23 profile image

      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      I wondered where you were, and now i know - you've been creating this masterpiece!

      This read like a telescope into too many ordinary homes - i hope it wasn't/isn't yours, my friend!

      we can hide from ourselves and each other - but - the walls miss nothing, and eventually...must crumble!

      how does it turn from love to suspicion to hatred? sigh..

      sharing this everywhere - after i go back and read again...

    • cclitgirl profile image

      Cynthia Calhoun 4 years ago from Western NC

      Beautiful, Ardie. I'm not that great with poetry but I loved this! Awesome wording and visuals.

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 4 years ago from South Africa

      A pain-provoking poem, fishing bad memories. Heart-touching! Ardie, I hope this is not the crying of your heart?

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up and awesome. Powerful words. Nothing like getting rid of the bad memories once and for all. Have faith there is brightness in the future just believe.

    • btrbell profile image

      Randi Benlulu 4 years ago from Mesa, AZ

      So many times I've wished to be a "fly on the wall" but, truly, that is too awesome a responsibility! Amazing poem! Up and awesome! Thank you for sharing!

    • Ardie profile image
      Author

      Sondra 4 years ago from Neverland

      Hi Jim :) Wow it was hard to come back and read this one. I have been avoiding responding to comments for just that very reason. But it also felt so good to get it out. Now if I ever have doubts I can come here and read this and know I made the right decisions.

      Hi Bill! Thanks for reading. Sadly this has been my life for the last 10 years. It didn’t start out this way – or maybe it did and I was blindly hopeful. Either way I have been living a PIPO life lately and I love it.

      Great to see you Curiad :) I have wondered where you’ve been. I don’t think my notifications are working right in my emails. Thanks for reading and enjoying. This has been bottled up for a very long time.

    • Ardie profile image
      Author

      Sondra 4 years ago from Neverland

      Hi Stephhicks, if you had to choose a poem to read I’m so very touched that it was mine. Not a happy topic for sure but one that many know all too well

      Jaydene, sad isn’t it, that so many can associate with the awful things in this poem? Thanks for reading.

      Mhatter, that makes me wonder. Oh yah – he was a bull. Whats that – a Taurus? And a Taurus true to the word.

    • Ardie profile image
      Author

      Sondra 4 years ago from Neverland

      Xstatic, thank you :) It wasn’t a happy moment when I wrote it but now that it’s all out I feel a little lighter. I do so love these walls but it’s time for me to go. Thanks for reading.

      RHW :) Hello friend. Its good to see you here. Thanks for reading. I haven’t been a very good Hub buddy lately and I appreciate the support.

      AV, my pal! Thanks :) I know YOU know what this is all about. Thanks for being there for me since the beginning.

      Hi Kelley, thanks for reading my poem! I know sometimes poetry can be…um…too open to interpretation. I’m glad you chose this one.

      JIM! You’re back you silly. Now that Im older and more seasoned I know just what I want for my future. Im not gonna blow it :P

    • Ardie profile image
      Author

      Sondra 4 years ago from Neverland

      Jon, I’m so glad you stopped by - a young man with an old soul who truly understands the world. And here you are, appreciating MY poem.

      Hi ImKarn :) It’s a shame so many people understand the feelings of this poem and have lived it. This was my life for quite some time but I’ve made my escape and things are looking up. Who woulda ever thought it could go from being so good to being so bad? Thanks for reading and sharing. You have a good heart.

      CC! Thank you dear. I don’t know if I consider this more of a poem or more of a VERY short story :) Either way I just appreciate your support.

    • Ardie profile image
      Author

      Sondra 4 years ago from Neverland

      Sweet Martie, I know :( You and I talked about this last January. You were the first person I opened up to (even if it was just tiny steps) and I knew you understood. I’m sorry it brought up bad memories.

      Gypsy Lee, thank you dear friend. It IS nice to get the words out and move on. And movin’ on is what I AM doing :) I have more faith now than ever before.

      Hi btrbell, Thank you for the comment. I agree that being a fly on the wall could be more damaging than anything else. There are some things that need to just stay between the walls. But luckily most walls come down.

    • profile image

      Vincent Moore 4 years ago

      I am with Mhatter, Ardie this is a masterful account of a broken love, marriage and separation. It always amazes me how our souls react to situations like these that bring it all out of us and being poets we express ourselves with full imagery that comes before our eyes. We feel every word we write. This my talented friend is brilliant work. Voted Up and shared.

    • profile image

      SilverGenes 4 years ago

      Ardie, this is powerful stuff! Such raw strength in action - wow! Someone already said "freakin' awesome!" and they were right.

    • Just Ask Susan profile image

      Susan Zutautas 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      WOW! I agree with everyone else here. This is an amazing poem. From your comments I'm glad to read that you're movin on with your life and feeling good about it.

    • themadimadimadi profile image

      Madison Gardiner. 4 years ago from Denver, Colorado

      beautiful

    • CloudExplorer profile image

      Mike Pugh 4 years ago from New York City

      Intense poetry here, the walls are surely coming down here now, awesome! Ardie.

      Whoa!!!!

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image

      Sharon Smith 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      Oh Ardie,

      This is such a deep and revealing piece from you. I'm glad to read in your comments that things are looking up. I personally lived within crumbling walls for almost a decade. I look back now and it just amazes me all the crap I allowed myself to go through. You are a strong woman and I sense that you are now building walls that will stand a lifetime and protect you. I wish you the best always!

      Sharyn

    • Ardie profile image
      Author

      Sondra 4 years ago from Neverland

      Hi Vincent, thanks for reading and appreciating the words I shared here. As I read it now I wonder if I shared TMI – but it was a great relief to get it out.

      SilverGenes, thanks girl. Sorry it took so long to respond – now that Im a little more distanced from the situation its easier to come back =)

      Hi Susan, thanks for reading. I am finally getting to a better place. Im not all the way there yet but every day gets a little easier. I know I will be in a great place this time next year :)

      Themadimadimadi, thank you =)

      Cloud Explorer, thank you. Them walls are gone.

      Hi Sharon, yup – it was almost a decade for me too. The worst part was what I was teaching my daughters by staying where I was. I am indeed doing better now and they will be better for it as well. We are BOTH strong women (me and you) and we are capable of building anything we put our minds to.

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 4 years ago

      Ardie , ! In these fews lines we learned the whole story ! Well done , ........Awesome ! And I hope you are not living "there " now !........ That would be too sad !...........Ed

    • TheManWithNoPants profile image

      TheManWithNoPants 4 years ago from Tucson, Az.

      Horseback,

      Haven't seen you round my neck of the words for a long time. Saddlerider, Horseback ... both great names for a great writer, but looks like you found the horse but lost your saddle.

      Nope, bro. She's not living there anymore. She found someone who adores her and appreciates her for the unique person she really is.

      Good to see you, man. You're a hell of a writer!

      ~ jim

    • Ardie profile image
      Author

      Sondra 4 years ago from Neverland

      Hi Ed =) Im glad my story came across right. I no longer live "there". As Jim says above, I found my way outta the negative environment and now I feel appreciated and loved. Its a remarkable difference.

      Jim, you cant respond to MY comments on MY Hubs unless they're directed at you :P We will talk about this tonight.

    • TheManWithNoPants profile image

      TheManWithNoPants 4 years ago from Tucson, Az.

      I was jus, jus jus... Okay :(

    • Ardie profile image
      Author

      Sondra 4 years ago from Neverland

      Aaw Jim, you know Im a sucker for the pouty face. You can answer any comments you want =)

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 4 years ago

      Okay well........you guys got a "thing " so I'll see ya later ! lol............Ed

    • TheManWithNoPants profile image

      TheManWithNoPants 4 years ago from Tucson, Az.

      Ed, Hey pal, thing or no thing, you don't need to go anywhere. She has made some quality friends here, and maybe some not so much. I'm kind of protective I guess, but has nothing to do with you. You're one of the first followers I ever had. I sucked at writing and never got any better, but you're one of the reasons I pushed on in those days. Everything I've ever seen from you shows class, so you be sure and stay around!

      ~ jim

    • Ardie profile image
      Author

      Sondra 4 years ago from Neverland

      Hey Ed, Jim just likes to pretend he's in charge here ;) You are more than welcome on any of my Hubs. I enjoy your poetry and I will be around to read it.

    • TheManWithNoPants profile image

      TheManWithNoPants 4 years ago from Tucson, Az.

      Git in ther and git them dishes done woman! Ed, I'm in charge. The little lady jus gets a little uppity sometimes. You know how it is ... :/

      ~ jim

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