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Damaged Trust

Updated on August 3, 2014
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By: Wayne Brown

Ten years in the bars

Waiting for the seed to grow

Ten long years in the bars

Spent searching for my trust

Deep in the darkness it cowered

 

Love brings joy beyond belief

Love brings pain

Love takes your heart

Tosses it into the ocean

Trust is dead

 

All you have is gone

Your true love, family, money, all

Taken away like a head-on collision

You survive and everything else dies

Dies all around you in one moment

 

Life changes without your desire

You live but mostly like a zombie

You trust nothing and no one anymore

Your trust was taken from you

In the divorce; in darkness it resides

 

The years go by, the women come and go

You trust no one; no one

You hide in the shadows; watch from afar

Wanting yet afraid

Needing yet scared

 

Ten long years pass one by one

Each day a little better but not cured

The world around you is a video tape

Seemingly played over and over every night

 

Ten long years your life is in limbo

Trust will not come even when you beg

Trust is the mistress you miss the most

A key to your future

And you cannot find it

 

Ten long years and then one comes

Is she the one?

Only trust can know

And where is trust to be found?

Back in the unsure shadows of yesterday

 

Ten long years with nothing to show

Trust cannot find its way to the door

A leap of faith is your only way

A leap of faith; no trust, no trust

It’s too far to the other side

 

Love come riding on friendship

Gentle is its touch

Easy is its way

Love comes to salve the hurt

Love comes to nurture the trust

Trust peers out from the shadows

 

Heart restored with trust in place

Love in charge

Ten long years wasted in the bars

Love robbed my life

Love restored my trust

Love rebuilt my heart

 

©Copyright WBrown2010. All Rights Reserved

 

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    • Wayne Brown profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Brown 

      7 years ago from Texas

      @BenWritings...This one came from the aftermath of my divorce...something I never planned to experience. Damaged trust was a very real thing for me for a very long time...I still have to work on it. Thanks for the good words! WB

    • BenWritings profile image

      BenWritings 

      7 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee

      Its crazy how love is so incredibly destructive and sick...yet it is what we continue to search for, endlessly, until death. I personally have loved once, and suffered the consequences.

      This was a great poem, and I especially loved the last section.

    • A.A. Zavala profile image

      Augustine A Zavala 

      8 years ago from Texas

      I feel that the pain from love lost reminds us were still alive, even though we wish we were dead. Thank you for cracking the window into your experiences and allowing us a taste. Bravo...

    • Wayne Brown profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Brown 

      8 years ago from Texas

      Valerie...this is me acting like you...writing about my tender and exposed underside. The feelings expressed I drew from my own emotions after the loss of my first marriage. It took me ten years to regain my ability to trust another person again. This one was an easy write...the words just flowed! Thanks for you kind words! WB

    • valeriebelew profile image

      valeriebelew 

      8 years ago from Metro Atlanta, GA, USA

      This is one of those writings that takes guts to do; I've been there. These hubs are why I read; not recipes or "buy videos on line" stuff. These are the spiritual and deep connections I seek, and what writing is all about. We can disucss recipes and videos in the local convenience store with 0 vulnerability, and 0 accountability. (:v

    • saddlerider1 profile image

      saddlerider1 

      8 years ago

      Yes Wayne you do have an uncanny resemblance to our Canadian cowboy Ian Tyson. I believe he ranches in Alberta Canada now and makes the odd guest appearance, he was on the music scene back in the sixties and seventies. He first started out with his wife as a duo, Ian and Sylvia, they divorced and both went solo. This Hub my friend very much resembles my life, I went through 10 yrs of hell and loss of much of everything I cared and lived for, it forever changed my persona. I know I will never recover from my loss and as much as I've tried to be the person I once was, I flop about like a fish out of water. I live my life day by day and find don't look for LOVE..it's fleeting and meaningless to me. Thanks for the share and I know the pain you must feel writing this one my hub friend. Peace

    • Wayne Brown profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Brown 

      8 years ago from Texas

      Thank you, Lorlie...I did draw on personal experience for this one. Thanks for the read and the kind words WB

      epigramman...you humble me greatly, good man. I am quite familiar with the writins of Townes VanZant and that is just a super compliment that would think that I could get anywhere near his abillity. I sing a song or two of his when I play my guitar poorly. Love his stuff. Thanks you! I will check out Ian Tyson's photo...I am familiar with the name but not the image...I will check it out. Again, thank you for your encouragement! WB

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 

      8 years ago

      You write with the same poetic quality of Townes Van Zandt-you move the ladies - and you look good in a cowboy hat!

      I say you still look like Ian Tyson - google him if you don't know who it is - but I know who you are - and you're damned good!!!

    • lorlie6 profile image

      Laurel Rogers 

      8 years ago from Bishop, Ca

      Beautifully done, Wayne. Love can indeed tear us down yet it's also our only hope. Crazy, isn't it?

      Lovely.

    • Wayne Brown profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Brown 

      8 years ago from Texas

      You got a deep look inside my soul on this Laura...Probably the most uncomfortable I have been as a writer. Thanks for your encouragement. WB

    • lalesu profile image

      lalesu 

      8 years ago from south of the Mason-Dixon

      Wayne Brown! You're getting the hang of this poetry thing, and quick! Of course, spoonfuls of forlorn and bleakness are a poet's main course so you've served this one up well, my friend. I'm looking forward to more. ~ Laura

    • profile image

      ralwus 

      8 years ago

      Great job my friend. Ten years, yes, that's a long time to go through all that, but it was worth it. Right? You're really doing great buddy. good stuff.

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