ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Deliberate Intent

Updated on September 9, 2014

By: Wayne Brown

Stainless steel and reinforced stark white concrete walls decorate the dwelling. Everything happens in one room here; sleep, eat, bodily function and the aging process. It all happens in this 8x10 area for all who care to watch. That is the way it has been now for over twelve years, day in and day out, sitting in this confined area called a cell and waiting for nothingness and eternity all at the same time. There’s nothing else to wait for, nothing else is coming.


The appeals have long since been exhausted up and down the court system. There are those who even wrote letters on your behalf pleading with the governor to commute your sentence and set you free. The twelve men and women of the jury who sent you to this place saw it in a much different light. The judge had instructed them that the evidence to find you guilty of the crime must be conclusive beyond the shadow of a doubt and must be based on the evidence at hand. The fact that you sit here in this cell awaiting the day of your scheduled death attests to their deliberation and verdict.


Rape and murder are serious yet logical actions to you. One is power, the ability to dominate and control. The power to take what is desired in the moment that one desires it and from whomever it is desired. The other is a necessary second step; not so satisfying but one that brings a serenity of knowing that your indiscretions will be concealed. No one will tell. In turn, one is free to execute the cycle again as the opportunity arises. There were times in the history of mankind when it broke no laws. Civilization comes with many yokes and restraints that do not fit some.


You have turned away the last meal. You have sent away the Priest who offered to pray to the Savior, Jesus Christ, for the salvation of your soul. The offer was tempting but seemed beyond the scope of the realism of your mind. If there was judgment on the other side of this life, you choose to face that trial and act on your own behalf without an interceder to jumble the intention or desire. If there is a judgment, then surely consequences await on both sides of the outcome. Heaven seems too much like a fairy tale projected in an aura of happiness that a man like you, who has dangled his feet into the towering flames of hell for far too many years, cannot fathom. The fires of hell have burned against the edges of your soul for too long to avert their familiarity. Surely, you will shake hands with the devil before you burn in eternity. The Priest should stay home and sleep in his warm bed.


Regret? Maybe there should be some. Your kind does not really understand regret and remorse. Life took more from you than it ever gave. Anything you ever took, you had long since earned. There is no urge to speak words of regret when there is no remorse in your heart. Regret comes in hindsight. You do not live in the past. You live in the moment and partake whatever it has to offer without regret. Apologies are for the weak; men who do not understand themselves or their desires, men who feel they have made a wrong choice. They are not like you. You understand your choices and the deliberateness with which you have made them.


The steel doors slide open and the committee assigned to walk you to the end of your road is beckoning. The walk will now begin. It is only a matter of a few minutes and a few steps to the final destination that has taken twelve long years to arrive. You look about the all too familiar surroundings one last time. For all the time you have been in this space, there is nothing of you here. It is as sterile now as it was when you first entered it. Your presence has not impacted its plain vanilla emotionless features. It is all that is left that you can call a home.


The walk begins down the long corridor past the cells of others awaiting your same destiny. Your wait is over but their wait continues. They stare out at you with apprehension. You look straight ahead consigned to only your thoughts. It is the only bastion the outside world cannot or has not touched within your body. In these last moments, they belong to you and you will savor them. They will be the only possession you take with you and the last things you peruse as the death fluids course through your veins.


The door swings open and the death chamber stands in order for your arrival. The appointed hour has finally come. You are the star attraction in this event to be carried out with timely precision and medical certainty. The guards position you on the gurney specifically designed for this purpose. You look beyond the lights through the glass at the prying eyes of those who have come to witness your demise. There are no faces that you know. You have no one and that is a good thing. There will be no broken hearts when you are gone. No tears will be cried.


The warden wants to know if you have any last words. You nod a simple ‘no’. Your last words have long since been spoken. You have nothing left to say and no one left to say it to who is recognizable to you. Your death will speak for you and the act of carrying it out will speak to the justice of all mankind. The warden has given the final nod and the fluids begin to flow. You train your eyes on the brightly light ceiling of the chamber and wait for the lights to go out.

(copyright)WBrown2010

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Wayne Brown profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Brown 

      6 years ago from Texas

      @Becky Katz...This was a "forerunner" to my "Conversation Pieces" series. I like to try to get into the minds of various characters. Thanks! WB

      @ThomasBaker...Thanks so much for the good words! WB

    • ThomasBaker profile image

      ThomasBaker 

      6 years ago from Florida

      I like your descriptive writing style. It is very realistic and makes your stories come alive.

    • Becky Katz profile image

      Becky Katz 

      6 years ago from Hereford, AZ

      You are extremely capable at depicting the coarsest of beings with such few words. You are extremely talented.

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 

      8 years ago

      Chilling account. Well done, as always.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)