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Updated on December 20, 2012

By: Wayne Brown

Now that I have officially begun my retirement

I thought it time that I stirred some excitement

So I headed down to the radio station K-R-O-C

Went in applying to be an “On Air Personality”

They looked at me like I was about half-crazy

Hell, I worked 40 long years! I sure ain’t lazy

They said it was just well-known common sense

To get that job, I needed some heavy ‘sperience

I replied, “Just listen to my fine, fine radio voice!”

I am sure when you hear it that I’ll be the choice

I can play mounds of sounds and stacks of wax

Everything from Johnny Cash to Fleetwood Mac

I’m a pundit, a poet, and story-teller of many sorts

I can gain you some listeners and win their hearts

I just need to get my voice broadcasting the words

Your market penetration will exceed levels unheard

I love good music and know decades of the style

I can play it very cool, pepped up, or really wild

I know all the Beatles, Stones, and the Monkees

And I throw in James Brown if you want it funky

They laughed at me and pointed me to the exit door

Get out they said and don’t come back here no more

You think this stuff is easy; you have said that it’s so

Baby, you need talent to have your own radio show

I said, “Look I grew up during the living history of rock”

Already born when Bill Haley “Rocked Around the Clock”

I watched American Bandstand and that funky “Soul Train”

I know all the songs and can call the singers by name!”

“Yes,” They admitted, “But no one knows who you are!

In this business, it takes a long time to be an on-air star

You’ve got to have a license and long hours in the trade

And please remember…stars are born, not likely made”

Well I left that radio station all dejected with the blues

Here I was talented with skills they would not try to use

I would never get my chance to lay down some tracks

Howl into the microphone and growl like Wolfman Jack

That’s my story and you have heard it in fine detail

How I suffered rejection; watched a radio career derail

My fine radio voice is silenced; never on air to be heard

Lost my dream job before I ever broadcast a word

So if you have talent and a raging need to let it show

I caution you heavily against trying to be on the radio

Those radio executives will laugh as you go out the door

And shout out to you, “Don’t come back here no more!”

©Copyright WBrown2012. All Rights Reserved.

19 December 2012


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    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas

      @fpherj48....Back in my early youth, I use to put my new fangled transistor radio under my pillow at night and listen to WLS (Chicago) and KAAY (Little Rock). Both were 50,000 watt blow torches that ranged far out into the night sky. I would listen to the songs and think about the ones that I would play if I were spinning the records in that moment. I even went so far as to come up with a sequence of songs to set the mood, etc. I never did become a DJ nor did I try but I always wondered if I would have liked it. Thanks much and I appreciate the job! ~WB

      @Gypsy Rose Lee...If the chance came my way, I would have a hard time turning it down I think. Could it be my cry for attention? LOL! Thanks much! ~WB

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up and funny. This was delightful. But hey, why not? Give it a shot if you've got rock and roll in your heart. Hope you and your family have a rockin' good Christmas and a groovin' New Year.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Well....To HELL with them!! What do they know anyway? If I owned a station, you could be my DJ!......They'll be sorry.

      Hey...Congrats and good luck on your retirement. A very Merry Christmas and simply Wonderful Holiday Season from beginning to end, to you and yours!..............UP+++

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas

      @Angela Blair... Thanks much, Sis...A Big Texas Merry Christmas to you and your family as well. We still have much to be thankful for here in the Lone Star State! ~WB

    • Angela Blair profile image

      Angela Blair 4 years ago from Central Texas

      Well, that proves it -- radio execs have no taste at all! Not only could you play some super music but as a political commentator you could blow 'em all off the air. Great piece, Wayne! Merry Christmas. Best/Sis

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas

      @drbj....I don't think my dream can survive Obama. By 2016, all the radio stations will be doing liberal talk! Good God, what's happen to our country? Thanks much! ~WB

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      You just hang in there, Wayne, and keep writing your outstanding stories and beautiful poetry. That will keep you sane until sanity returns to our beloved America. Promise!

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas

      @mizjo...I will definite wear my "CEO" badge on the next trip! LOL! Thanks so much...~WB

      @CMerritt....I have to resort to humor in my "post-election" state of shock. Living like "one flew over the cuckcoo's nest" may not be all bad. Thanks much, Chris! ~WB

    • CMerritt profile image

      Chris Merritt 4 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana

      ahh! a good dose of Wayne Brown humor...........JUST what I needed!

      Thanks Wayne and


      You WOULD be a GREAT radio personality!!!

    • mizjo profile image

      mizjo 4 years ago from New York City, NY

      What a fun poem to read. It's their loss, Wayne, they've lost out on a clean-cut, smooth-talking radio-voiced dude. Make sure next time you walk in on them you have 'CEO' on your badge.

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas

      @breakfastpop...Won't they feel bad when I make it big! LOL! Thanks much! ~WB

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 4 years ago

      Nobody ever said that these radio dudes were the sharpest knives in the draw. They looked a talented guy in the face and blew it. It reminds me of the publishers who rejected Gone With the Wind 100 times!

    • profile image

      Sunnie Day 4 years ago

      Hi Wayne..we do like those Honey do father in law refuses to retire for the fear of those Honey do lists..haha The winds here in Central Texas was really kickin last night too..Just take a breath and get busy on the Honey do's and know Rome was not built in a day. I had to get use to realizing time was on my side..:)

      Have a blessed day and Merry Christmas.


    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas

      @WillStarr....Thanks much, Will. I am getting pulled in so many directions right now, there's not much room to write. Luckily this one came quickly. ~WB

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Excellent and funny, Wayne! Well done.

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas

      @Sunnie Day....I plan to write more as well. My sister says its a book...I'm thinking about it. I have three ebooks on Smashwords now but they have not done well though all have premium status and are getting exposure. Writing is like playing your guitar on the sidewalks of Nashville...there are so many doing the same thing that it is hard to get noticed. There's got to be some luck involved! Right now I am covered up in Christmas "Honey-Do's" and the high winds blew a tree limb down on my new roof last night...retirement has started off quite stressful! Thanks much for the good words on the poem. So glad you enjoyed it. ~WB

    • profile image

      Sunnie Day 4 years ago

      Good Morning Wayne,

      The picture just jumped out and grabbed me, looking a bit familiar:)...I am still smiling at this creative hub...first of all it is their loss should you have really tried to get a DJ gig but do not give up....I believe dreams have a way of coming up over and over until the opportunity presents itself ever so small...Oh and OH MY GOODNESS! I remember Wolfman Jack! I believe I listened to him from Alamogordo New Mexico in the early 70's ...YES??? Any way happy retirement is an adjustment but an exciting time too. I became a writer and an entrepreneur...two things I never thought in a million years...haha Wishing you the very best!


    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas

      @Just Ask Susan....Merry Christmas to you and family as well. Thanks much for the read and the comment! ~WB

    • Just Ask Susan profile image

      Susan Zutautas 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      This was fun to read .... Merry Christmas Wayne!