DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT GOLDEN YEARS

My fellow hubbers I gave my opinion of the term “Golden Years” in my hub “My Pet Peeves at This Moment”, and I haven’t changed my mind one bit about the term “Golden Years”. As I previously stated if these are “Golden Years” show me the bullion.

I can remember when my ex-wife and I were dating and she was coming to my house for dinner I told her to listen closely to the conversation of my parents who were then in their mid to late fifty’s. I told her they would start out on a topic and rove everywhere and the conversation would wander all over the place. It was rare if the original conversation or possible question would ever get resolved or answered.

As I’ve grown older I found out I’ve become my parents. My attention span begins to roam all around. I start to do something and end up doing three or four other things and the original thing is forgotten. This is very confounding.

I recently saw a great description of this condition in an email I got from Acra Max Publishing. They called it A. A. A. D. D.

 

"Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trashcan under the table, and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers...

Now I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember

what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

-the car isn't washed,

-the bills aren't paid,

-there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,

-the flowers don't have enough water,

-there is still only one check in my check book,

-I can't find the remote,

-I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, --your day is coming!

GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL!!!!

LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"