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DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT GOLDEN YEARS

Updated on July 19, 2010

INTRODUCTION

My fellow hubbers I gave my opinion of the term “Golden Years” in my hub “My Pet Peeves at This Moment”, and I haven’t changed my mind one bit about the term “Golden Years”. As I previously stated if these are “Golden Years” show me the bullion.

I can remember when my ex-wife and I were dating and she was coming to my house for dinner I told her to listen closely to the conversation of my parents who were then in their mid to late fifty’s. I told her they would start out on a topic and rove everywhere and the conversation would wander all over the place. It was rare if the original conversation or possible question would ever get resolved or answered.

As I’ve grown older I found out I’ve become my parents. My attention span begins to roam all around. I start to do something and end up doing three or four other things and the original thing is forgotten. This is very confounding.

I recently saw a great description of this condition in an email I got from Acra Max Publishing. They called it A. A. A. D. D.

 

A. A. A. D. D.

"Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trashcan under the table, and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers...

Now I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember

what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

-the car isn't washed,

-the bills aren't paid,

-there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,

-the flowers don't have enough water,

-there is still only one check in my check book,

-I can't find the remote,

-I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, --your day is coming!

GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL!!!!

LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

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    • Tom Whitworth profile image
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      Tom Whitworth 2 years ago from Moundsville, WV

      Thanks for the visit.

    • profile image

      Matheus 2 years ago

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    • Tom Whitworth profile image
      Author

      Tom Whitworth 4 years ago from Moundsville, WV

      rajan,

      Sorry for not responding sooner but just read your comment. Thanks..

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 6 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      Tom you are dead right. I remember when I was young (I just turned 60 ) I would laugh at old people being so very forgetful and here I am today doing the very things they did.

      While driving,many a time,I forget where I'm heading and for a few seconds I seem to not even recognise the streets but the next moment everything falls in place.

      Thanks for making me laugh at myself.

    • Tom Whitworth profile image
      Author

      Tom Whitworth 7 years ago from Moundsville, WV

      Harvey,

      Thank you for your visit and comment.

    • Harvey Stelman profile image

      Harvey Stelman 7 years ago from Illinois

      Tom, You quoted very well, yours was better.

    • Tom Whitworth profile image
      Author

      Tom Whitworth 7 years ago from Moundsville, WV

      Pamela,

      I had a similar circumstance today when I went shopping. I never did get the thing I went after and now I have to go back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 7 years ago from United States

      Tom, I loved hearing about this day in your life! I try to keep organized and do post it notes sometimes, but still walk in a room then wonder why as I can't remember what I was coming to get! I guess we all deal with this as we get older but it is good to be able to laugh about it.

    • Tom Whitworth profile image
      Author

      Tom Whitworth 7 years ago from Moundsville, WV

      Sheri,

      I just got home from town because I needed to go shopping I ran all over town and didn't buy a thing. Now I need to make a list and go back!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Thank you for your comment!!!!!!

    • SheriSapp profile image

      SheriSapp 7 years ago from West Virginia

      Love this hub Tom. I am only 40 at this point, but I sometimes am afflicted with this very problem. Last school year, I was sitting in front of the board and remembered something I wanted to write on the board. By the time I stood up and turned to the board, I FORGOT what I was even talking about. Thanksfully a few students were paying enough attention to set me on the right track. Anyway, thanks for a good laugh!!!!

    • Tom Whitworth profile image
      Author

      Tom Whitworth 7 years ago from Moundsville, WV

      Harvey,

      I quote the email.

    • Harvey Stelman profile image

      Harvey Stelman 7 years ago from Illinois

      Tom, I'm sorry to say this, there is an e-mail like this going around. We all end up going around. In the "old days' we went up and down.

    • Tom Whitworth profile image
      Author

      Tom Whitworth 7 years ago from Moundsville, WV

      sheila b.

      Just a minute, because I need to read your comment again. I forgot what you said!!

      Oh yeah, I forgot lunch and breakfast. Oh well I'll just have a big midnight snack!!!!!!!!!!

      Thank you for whatever your comment was!!!!!!!!

    • sheila b. profile image

      sheila b. 7 years ago

      What am I doing here? I'm 2 hours late for lunch - might as well wait and just have dinner. What was that I meant to do? Oh, yeah, send an email...bye

    • Tom Whitworth profile image
      Author

      Tom Whitworth 7 years ago from Moundsville, WV

      dahoglund,

      I have also done some of this all my life, but I gotten much worse as I've grown older!!!!!!!!!

    • dahoglund profile image

      Don A. Hoglund 7 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

      It seems to me that I have done things like that most of my life.

    • Tom Whitworth profile image
      Author

      Tom Whitworth 7 years ago from Moundsville, WV

      Pop,

      You're making me blush!!!!!!!!!

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 7 years ago

      Dear Tom,

      Personally, I just think you are better and far more interesting!

    • Tom Whitworth profile image
      Author

      Tom Whitworth 7 years ago from Moundsville, WV

      Pop,

      I've always been a little hyper, but my present state has skyrockted with advancing age!!!!!!!

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 7 years ago

      Dear Tom,

      You just described me from the day I was born!

    • Tom Whitworth profile image
      Author

      Tom Whitworth 7 years ago from Moundsville, WV

      Dusty,

      My water bill is astounding!!!!!!!!! Thank you for your comment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • 50 Caliber profile image

      50 Caliber 7 years ago from Arizona

      You might want to turn the hose off haha, welcome to the other side, 50

    • Tom Whitworth profile image
      Author

      Tom Whitworth 7 years ago from Moundsville, WV

      Thank you Rochelle Frank, both for your comment and your vote!!!!!!!!!

    • Rochelle Frank profile image

      Rochelle Frank 7 years ago from California Gold Country

      I think I may have done that. At least you can remember well enough to write it all down. Voted up.

    • Tom Whitworth profile image
      Author

      Tom Whitworth 7 years ago from Moundsville, WV

      Robert,

      I all part of living. Thank you for your comment.

    • Putz Ballard profile image

      Putz Ballard 7 years ago

      Sad but true lol

    • Tom Whitworth profile image
      Author

      Tom Whitworth 7 years ago from Moundsville, WV

      nicomp,

      It's a way of life and living. Thank you for your comment.

    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      Great therapy! Thanks!