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DON'T CALL ME...by b. Malin
I'LL CALL YOU...
The first time I saw the "Devil" he was shopping at one of the Candy, Ice Cream, Speciality Stores on the Avenue... in Del Ray Beach. He smiled at me and said, "I've got a Sweet Tooth...Mmm, What do you say to that"? Actually, I thought he was leering a bit. But I thought to myself, I'm cool, I'm just having a conversation with the Devil...I can handle it. "Well, I replied whatever". "Whatever, he repeated slowly, tell me, do you need my Help"? He seemed to be studying me. "No", I answered back. "Well if you ever do, he replied...just call out my Name, just say, Devil, and I'll be there before you can take another breath". Ok, I thought, anything to get rid of him, and so I replied, "I'll do that" and then I smiled sweetly and watched as he just literally, disappeared. This all took place months ago, before I came back to the Jersey Shore.
So today, I'm sitting at my "Mac" thinking my thoughts and trying to decide what I wanted to say when the phone began to Ring, Loudly. Darn, I thought as I got up to answer it...All my thoughts gone. It was a "Telemarking Company". "I'm on a DO NOT CALL LIST" I said in my most sarcastic voice...and you're disturbing my Peace". "Ah, go to HELL" the voice on the other end Screamed back at me, before he cut us off. "No, you go to Hell", I laughed as I hung the phone up. And puff, who should appear, the Devil.
"What are you doing here"? I asked looking up at the ceiling where he had positioned himself. "I could get that guy for you, isn't that why you called for me"? He said, smiling down at me. "I didn't call for you", I replied back hoping I sounded annoyed. "Oh but you did, when you told him to go to Hell"...."I only said that, because he said it first" I replied looking up at him. "Hey could you come down from there, my neck is beginning to hurt", I said. "Oh sure he replied, leering at me, anything to please...Hey, got anything Sweet in the house for me to nibble on...Mmm", he asked with a grin that I did not feel comfortable with. "No I do not" I said trying to sound impatient...which he chose to ignore.
So now we sat at the table, me with my "Mac" and he opposite us. "Hey he said, I've written a Poem, I'd like to read it to you". Before I could answer, like I had a choice, he cleared his throat and began.
"It's Almost Halloween...and I'll be there. by the Devil
It's Almost Halloween, a Time to Laugh and Scream!
A Time to be Mean...because it's Halloween.
I'll be there, just call me... my line is Never too Busy.
Never, Never too Busy to SCARE the HELL out of Someone.
So Call Me...and I'll be there.
"Ok, I sighed, is that it? Do you want my opinion"? "Well, if you care to give it, I would" he replied sweetly. "Well why do you need the line, "A Time to be Mean". I asked. "Are you kidding me, Missy... MEAN is what I do...and on Halloween it's So Expected, he answered. "Ok, whatever, I said...Now I need to get back to work". "I could WECK your "MAC" just like that", he said as he snapped his fingers. "Are you threatening me" I said, "I'm not Afraid of you, and if you don't leave in one minute...I'll SIC my WITCH friend on you!" "Oh who are you kidding" he replied as he quickly looked around the room...I'm leaving RIGHT NOW, he yelled, and not because YOU want me to, Oh NO, I'm leaving because I want to, and I'm NEVER coming back, Even if you Call Me"..."Trust Me, I interrupted, I'll never call you...and don't you EVER call me"! "We are so through" he screamed as he took flight. And as I looked up, he smiled and said, And don't forget me, on HALLOWEEN NIGHT...And with that, he was gone..so out of sight.