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A Visit to the Doctor's Office

Updated on July 24, 2014

“Jingle, jingle.” Annie peered at the door taking a brief reprieve from her paperwork. Rubbing her eyes, she sighed. It had been a long day already. Mr. Grim, an earlier patient, had transformed an acceptable experience into a tension-filled, “Sometimes I really hate my job”, kind of day. The woman walking through the door was a new face.

“At least it’s not Mr. Grim back to complain”, she whispered.

An artificial grin was pasted on the woman’s face. Her complexion was pale with a greasy sheen.

“I need to see a doctor”, said the woman. “I fell down the stairs this morning. The pain in my abdomen is horrible.”

Looking up quickly, Annie took in bloodshot eyes averting direct eye contact.

“Fill out this form please,” said Annie. The woman took the form and pen, a slight tremor noticeable in her hand. Annie bent her head down, focussing again on the endless reams of paperwork that beckoned.

After completing a short stack of filing, Annie sat down to organize yet more paperwork. She felt a disturbance in the air molecules near her. Looking up she saw the woman, paperwork in her outstretched hand. Her complexion had paled further if that was possible. Annie retrieved the forms and began a cursory examination.

“Please sit down, Daisy”, Annie smiled. “The doctor will be with you shortly.” Stumbling as she turned to regain her seat, Daisy gasped and grabbed onto the counter. “Daisy, are you alright?’ Annie whipped around the counter, gently cupping the woman’s elbow before she could answer. “Here, let me help you. This chair here is the most comfortable. Looking into Annie’s eyes, Daisy accepted the help her own eyes wide with worry.

“Daisy – an old-fashioned name, Annie thought, and yet it suited her. No next of kin – that’s odd. A familiar buzzing began in the core of Annie’s mind and emanated outward. And then, she was sinking, spiraling. “Poof!” the medical office disappeared and she found herself on a second floor landing near a staircase. Fear drenched perspiration soaked her blouse. Hormonal rage electrified the air near her and a heavy fist connected with her soft belly. The blow sent shock waves of pain throughout her body. The fear and helplessness overwhelmed her system. Black needles; punctuated by red flashes, penetrated the periphery of her vision. She felt herself falling, tumbling. And then, all was black.

Annie sucked in her breath and opened her eyes. The familiar features of the office again surrounded her. She gazed at Daisy with understanding. She hoped the horror she had just visited was not too apparent in her facial features. Annie rose and carried the new file folder, into which she had placed Daisy’s intake form, to the doctor.

“I think you should see this patient next Doctor Kilbourne. Her injuries are far more serious than indicated here.” She handed him the file confident he would heed her advice. Her counsel to him in these matters, although not given often, had always been correct.

“Daisy, you may see the Doctor now.”


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    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Another great story. It's so sad that some have to endure so much pain. I'd like to hear what happens to that husband of Daisy's!

    • Teresa Coppens profile imageAUTHOR

      Teresa Coppens 

      6 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Thanks for the ego boost lyricwriter. I have a few more stories in the same vein in my creative writing hubs. This is one of many pieces I plan to connect together into a longer story. They're all works in progress. Thanks again!

    • thelyricwriter profile image

      Richard Ricky Hale 

      6 years ago from West Virginia

      up, awesome, and interesting article. Wow! This is a great story Teresa. A very good job. You have the gift for sure. I would like to see another page or a few myself. Great job:)

    • Teresa Coppens profile imageAUTHOR

      Teresa Coppens 

      6 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Thanks for your kind words ladies. If I can I will try to continue the piece for another contest entry!

    • Ania L profile image

      Ania L 

      6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Very engaging story, but what happens next? It asks for another chapter :) Thumbs Up!

    • phdast7 profile image

      Theresa Ast 

      6 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      My writing is for academia, mostly history. Usually, I am not overly fond of short stories or short pieces...and yet I really liked this. A nuanced story with depth and meaning in so few words. Very impressive.

    • Becky Katz profile image

      Becky Katz 

      6 years ago from Hereford, AZ

      Some people can see into the heart of things and if they are smart, they find a job where they can do some good. Very good story.


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