Dark Vs. Light

He cared…then he didn’t

I’ve watched a few come

into my life and later

walk out this way.

The thing I can’t consider

is what I do wrong. Where

Do the feelings fail, when did

I start getting lost on the trail…

I have to wonder if my purpose,

here is to be left behind? Always

Just good enough until another

shows face, whisking away my

devotion with heartless grace.

Life has become a feeling of

loneliness hard to explain.

Watching every commitment

fade away. Into an abyss of

empty crumble, it gets so tiring

pulling myself up from the rubble.

It’s like it didn't really happen…

I never even mattered. In a

second, one heart gets shattered.

God, I’m so tired of trying love.

There is no real reason for me

not to give up.

That scary thought that lurks

in my brain that I may be alone

the rest of my days.

Focusing on that light that shines

so bright is hard when darkness

has been the one to comfort me

through my nights.

That black hole that beckons me from

beyond, I can’t see who’s in there, but

they are whispering to come on…

If I should have the strength to

walk to the light, then it will be your

choice not mine to

what seals my demise.

Pull me out of this fight,

show me the way. Let me be me

and find love this way.

It’s simple to get lost in

the charm of sadness;

you start to think you can’t live

without its madness.

When I try so hard to break free,

the thought that I could ever let it

go is frightening.

My only companion through

every battle reminding me my

kindness is drowning in my

willfulness,which seems to be

the cause for my own mental illness.

There’s no real answer

for my troubles. I’ve survived

all my life with this struggle.