Deafening quiet

AFTER HOURS

Families in bed,my housework is done
Time for me to have my fun
Peace and quiet is a treat on its own
Sit back with a coffee,on my private throne.
I keep the TV down,I creep about very quiet
Will I try something new,maybe I will try it.
I write some poems,read my book
Think of my day,any liberties took?
I sit up till about 3, I have trouble sleeping
Some nights I fret,I've been close to weeping.
I worry too much,or maybe not enough
My brain is too active,full of random stuff.
Have I got it easy ,or is my life a bit tough
Kids starving round the world,definitely have it rough.
I think I can help,I give money each week
To kids and animal charities,does that make me weak?
My heart goes out to the kids who are dying
I can only give money,that's why I'm crying.
I would like to do more,go abroad,give aid
Then maybe my guilt will be truly repaid.
Would I help these people,my disability might make it worse
I hate not being active,car crash was my curse.
All these thoughts,notions and ideas
Some times the only heighten my apparent fears.
Quivering wreck some days,strong on the other few
As I think I am better,my fears just grew.
I do the dishes,maybe mop the floor
I hear a chap,who's at my door.
Has fate came to claim me,do I get another chance
Do I get some happiness,on life's long dance.
My mind is a torrent of never ending voices
Telling me what to do,giving me constant choices.
Even when I reach bed,I struggle to sleep
Remembering past family members,I still see them weep.
If I had the chance,my brain I would clear
See if I can wake one day,without no fear.
I would love that moment when I wake with a smile
Sadly I don't see it coming,at least not for a while.

i can count the minutes as my mind torments me while depriving me of sleep.its been going on so long it's almost became normal for me now.Insomnia is a curse indeed,but it's something ive had to get used to over the years.People who suffer from Insomnia will probably agree you find a coping mechanism.a system where you can at some point during the day you can chill out,or even grab forty winks.By no means every day,but now and again the opportunity arises and you can help your body refuel a bit.

power of my thought

visions and ideas

give rise to laughter

give a home to my fears.

tick tick,up and down

walk the length

of your town

in your mind

your sleeping but awake

you ask why your punished

yet more sleep,you will forsake.

i talk to my wife

i talk to my friends

i feel it's hopeless

it never ends.

i fight the darkness

i embrace the light

will i ever win

against the insomnia fight.

i don't see a future

i only see more nights

i despair for my mind

there are constant frights.

some days I rise,

with a smile and surprise

i feel almost happy and in a daze

not enclosed in my mental haze.

edgy,nervous,jumpy sick

some days really get on my wick.

plodding on trudging through the mire

all the while your brains on fire.

24 hours have come and gone

tired and sleepy,almost done.

odd things to do before my bed

then my head fills with dread.

i have my girls,they keep me sane

they fill my head,entertain my brain.

keep me busy,all the while

then life isn't an endless mile.

the make me laugh

they stop my tears

im wide awake with them

thy help with my fears.

i love them dearly

they are my all

they keep me sane

they stop the fall.