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Dear Stranger...(A Letter From the Heart)

Updated on June 13, 2014

This is a powerful letter that I had decided to write to my estranged mother. It's definitely going to land in the personal category but I really don't care. If I have to edit it over and over to get it featured, I will. It's something that it had to be written in order to get closure. Thanks for reading.

A Letter to the Unknown

Dear stranger,

It's odd that I should be writing to you now after eleven years of estrangement. There was a lot of tears and resentment. There were a lot of words that shouldn't have been said and that we wish we could take back. I know I wish I could have taken back the words that I said, but at the same time, I was only thinking of myself. I was only thirteen and was focused on growing up and enjoying my childhood. Even in teen years, I still considered those years as my childhood because I never really had a childhood. I got to live out the childhood that I never knew that I wanted. I got to play with the next door neighbors. They were younger than me, but I didn't care. It just felt good that they wanted to play with me. Nobody wanted to play with me outside of school. I wasn't invited to many birthday parties. Heck, I remember one time that you came to the Catholic School and taking my older sister out for a check up and one girl actually threw rocks at you because she didn't like you. I didn't understand why she didn't like you. Looking back on it, she must have seen something in you that I missed. She was more perceptive than I was and that's because she wasn't close to you, like I was.

Eleven years later, I'm still enjoying my youth and childhood through old school cartoons like "Looney Tunes" and "Tom and Jerry." I'm still enjoying video games and making memes. I didn't know what they were until recently. They are nothing more than just humorous captions. I enjoy making the few memes I do from time to time because they involve my imagination. I could have had all of that with you but you chose alcohol to be your companion. Unfortunately, that companion changed you and not for the better. While I didn't know you before you took the bottle to be your companion, I bet you were someone just looking for guidance. I don't know. Whatever happened in your life couldn't have been good.

I will admit that there are times that I cringe when I call you mom in casual conversation. I can still remember the times that you left me alone with your parents and you went out to party instead of going to work as you claimed. We didn't spend time together like a mother and daughter would as we visited your parents. I remember the one time back in 1993 that we were coming back from a trip late in the night and when we arrived home, nobody helped me out of my car seat. I was left sitting in the car all night in Texas...in Texas. The next morning, I woke up, still in my clothes from the night before and still strapped into the car seat. Thankfully, nothing happened. I was greeted with a 'good morning' from grandma and that was it. She and I were off to the pharmacy.

Did you even miss me? I know my older sister didn't. She was probably enjoying the peace and quiet from my not being a pesky little sister to her. She got all of the video game time to herself without having to share with me. I guess I can't blame her because I was always asking if I could play with her. Most of my memories of those days are vague and sometimes I wonder if that's a good thing. I will admit, though, that sometimes I miss calling you mom but those are very rare times. Enough about me and my anger, though, I want to ask about you.

What have you been up to in the days after we went our separate ways? Are you well? Are you living in a warm place? I understand that the house that the entire family lived in foreclosed, so I hope you've got somewhere to sleep and have good things to eat. In this day and age, not a whole lot of people are as lucky as I am. I pray that you are not one of those people. In spite of the anger that we faced, I couldn't wish that kind of fate on you. I hate it when people have to go without and that, unfortunately, is a growing trend. I don't know what your habits are now and what you like to enjoy. I guess that is what happens when we grow apart.

Take care, dear stranger.


From your daughter,

Jennifer

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    • writinglover profile image
      Author

      Jennifer 4 years ago from Lost...In Video Games

      This, vkwok, is a true story. This is part of all the pain and sorrow that I, as a child, went through. I referred to my mother as dear stranger because that's what she is, a stranger. Thank you for taking the time for reading!

    • vkwok profile image

      Victor W. Kwok 4 years ago from Hawaii

      I think one of your greatest stories yet!

    • writinglover profile image
      Author

      Jennifer 4 years ago from Lost...In Video Games

      Thank you, Smireles. I think that this was what I really needed to do. I can write about forms of abuse all day but not get any closure from that. I know forgiveness is one step closer to said closure but I think this does it for me!

    • Smireles profile image

      Sandra Mireles 4 years ago from Texas

      Thank you for being able to share the pain from your past. You will help someone who needs to hear this. I am glad you do not hate your family. You would only suffer more from that. Many of us suffer from heartless parents but God takes care of us. I do not know if you are a believer but I am thankful for the blessing of your stepmom in your. life. Blessings.

    • writinglover profile image
      Author

      Jennifer 4 years ago from Lost...In Video Games

      @HeatherH104 and @DreamerMeg: Thanks so much for the support! I did grow up during some tough times and pretty much without both of my parents (as dad was a police officer). In the end, I decided that I would leave that place with dad and, thus, a journey to happier times.

    • DreamerMeg profile image

      DreamerMeg 4 years ago from Northern Ireland

      I am in awe of this letter! This is amazing writing and I am SO SORRY that it is true. Every child deserves a true childhood, that is, where they are cared for and loved and listened to, no matter how poor they may be financially and I am glad that you had a stepmom to take over and care for you.

    • HeatherH104 profile image

      HeatherH104 4 years ago from USA

      Jennifer- As a mom I am really hurting for how you were treated as a child. I have a feeling your mom will at some point grieve what she missed with you. Being a mom is such a blessing - very hard at times but so special seeing your loves grow and learn and become their own unique individual. Moms have a chance to support and encourage and nurture their children's talents and social growth. I'm glad you have a good step mom. I don't know if you have children or not but I have a feeling you are/will be a fabulous mom.

      Hugs. Heather

    • writinglover profile image
      Author

      Jennifer 4 years ago from Lost...In Video Games

      Thanks LongTimeMother! I think that helped with some of my closure. I mean, sure, forgiveness is one step closer to that closure but I think this needed to come out!

    • LongTimeMother profile image

      LongTimeMother 4 years ago from Australia

      Beautiful hub, Jennifer. Even if your mother never sees it, I'm glad you wrote the letter. I'm sure it will touch the hearts of many.

      @girlpower, how wonderful that you have taken writinglover under your wing. Having read some of her other hubs, she certainly has writing talent! :)

    • writinglover profile image
      Author

      Jennifer 4 years ago from Lost...In Video Games

      I've thought about self-publishing but I had no idea where to start. This is great. It's been a dream of mine and to make it reality is awesome. Thanks for the suggestion. I'm definitely going to check it out!

    • girlpower profile image

      girlpower 4 years ago from eugene oregon

      just keep writing and make copies on disk and on other computers or send them to other reliable people to hold, as if your computer ever goes down, you won't lose them, one never knows when in the middle of writing a novel that you can place them pretty much as is into your story, which would always be about an independent woman, you, You have grown strong and always will be because of your past, be glad you were tested and grew always toward the light. Stay who you are and write about anything that comes to mind, many readers would love to live a day in your shoes, or live lives similar to yours. Words turn to pages turn to chapters, there is a big market for young adults as well as younger fiction or memoir writers. Find your joy in the everyday writing and be blessed that you are alive and can write your story. We are out here just waiting for more. i will go and read some more of your hubs to find out more about you. You should consider self publishing on smashwords.com a e book self publishing site where you just follow the instructions and get published, start on short and long summaries of your works, get a picture or have one of their formatters make a cover out of a picture of you or a fav picture you have. Start in word and when ready i can walk you through getting them up on the site. Even short stories can be published. Write every day girl.

    • writinglover profile image
      Author

      Jennifer 4 years ago from Lost...In Video Games

      I've actually started doing that. I have it on Bubblews but I might pull them back here.

    • girlpower profile image

      girlpower 4 years ago from eugene oregon

      keep journals of your life to which you can always go back to and write them into a current novel you are writing, keep writing, you have a gift, share it with the world

    • writinglover profile image
      Author

      Jennifer 4 years ago from Lost...In Video Games

      Thanks a lot girlpower! Fortunately, my stepmom has been there. Sure, she'll never replace my mom, but she's more of a mom to me. I'm just glad I had some type of a mother figure.

    • girlpower profile image

      girlpower 4 years ago from eugene oregon

      Touching story right from the heart, i hope you are well and taking care of yourself, sometimes its good to not look back as much as looking forward, just think what a wonderful mom you will make, all the mistakes your mother made are her mistakes and have nothing to do with you. You still have love in your heart and even if she never gives it back, you are a good person. She should be reaching out to you and because she is not i am sad for her and you. The bond between mother and daughter should not be broken. My mother has always been there for me, so i don't understand how it could be any other way. Sure we have had our fights, but bottom line she has been there for me, and for that i am grateful. You write wonderfully, try writing a book about your life or choose a story and become the person in that story and draw on what you know. Your'e mother doesn't know what she's missing, perhaps she never will. A stranger today reaches out and loves you, as i do now. Keep growing and moving forward, you are a child of the universe and are beautiful.