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Death Mocks Me!

Updated on November 10, 2009

 

Death mocks me

©-MFB III

death mocks me
it taunts me
with what ifs
like a background page
it looms to taint the views
I see around me
it nudges me
when my heart
murmurs harder
then usual
it drops men all around me
my age
and says see
I got your number
and it's
a low one....
it forces me to read the obits
to try and understand why
so many much
younger have gone on
it spoils a good smoke
I see a tiny Hades on the
orange red flaming tip
souls writhing there
with a nicotine demon
I see my mothers
fragile corpse
drop with a thud
into the fires
of the crematory oven
the frozen snot
that icicle'd
from her nose
reduced to water in
a blink of tears
in my own eyes
foul flesh carnate
and mortal years of
building to this dilemma
now faced
understanding
much too well
knowing it all
just goes to shit
the food we eat
the dreams we carry
the air becomes
less available
the taste of
sweetness dulls
damn the plan
the pain
the wrinkles
that peek out
and wink across
your once tight skin
damn the design
to be born...grow old
and die....what insanity
to deny the decades
centuries
eons to those who pour
out their souls
in ink and flowered words
so much more to offer
the clock goes way too fast..
death chuckles
in the rumble
of my twice yearly
bronchitis
in my intestinal fortitude
more rumblings
a seething cauldron of gases
churning.....
the bowels of hell
spew fiery darkness
relentlessly
and death turns
up the pressure
a steamy concoction
twice daily
I move vowels less now
and bowels more
my grandmother died
from internal bleeding
to old to patch the holes
inside her gut
she wept and
squeezed my hand
and said she did'nt
want to go yet
sleep took her
one week later
alone late
in the night
death snickered
as she rolled
out to the hearse
her soul following
dutifully behind
I sang amazing grace
and wanted to scream
unfricking believable
I wanted to throttle death
with a pickax
but death just
keeps eating away
at all I'd hope to retain
he's winning you know
you're on his list
he's getting
double orders lately
and large groups
are his delight
I used to take
more chances
felt what I had
was still forever
but forever still is
what death will introduce
the absence of this life
the scent of
crocus wafting from
purple passionate cups
the frost
in your nose hairs
on a crackling January day
the splash of salt water
in a turquoise ocean
floating on a raft
to the oblivion
of nothing better to do
the crunch and sugary odor
of multi-colored leaves
flying haphazardly
left and right
in an autumn dash
all that life holds
precious and then some
stolen in an instant
and traded down
for the unknown
he dangles
like a spider web
over your face
the feeling so damn creepy
of course I do have faith
but it will not
save me from dying
it simply promises
that I only have to
die just once
such a deal!!!

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