death mocks me it taunts me with what ifs like a background page it looms to taint the views I see around me it nudges me when my heart murmurs harder then usual it drops men all around me my age and says see I got your number and it's a low one.... it forces me to read the obits to try and understand why so many much younger have gone on it spoils a good smoke I see a tiny Hades on the orange red flaming tip souls writhing there with a nicotine demon I see my mothers fragile corpse drop with a thud into the fires of the crematory oven the frozen snot that icicle'd from her nose reduced to water in a blink of tears in my own eyes foul flesh carnate and mortal years of building to this dilemma now faced understanding much too well knowing it all just goes to shit the food we eat the dreams we carry the air becomes less available the taste of sweetness dulls damn the plan the pain the wrinkles that peek out and wink across your once tight skin damn the design to be born...grow old and die....what insanity to deny the decades centuries eons to those who pour out their souls in ink and flowered words so much more to offer the clock goes way too fast.. death chuckles in the rumble of my twice yearly bronchitis in my intestinal fortitude more rumblings a seething cauldron of gases churning..... the bowels of hell spew fiery darkness relentlessly and death turns up the pressure a steamy concoction twice daily I move vowels less now and bowels more my grandmother died from internal bleeding to old to patch the holes inside her gut she wept and squeezed my hand and said she did'nt want to go yet sleep took her one week later alone late in the night death snickered as she rolled out to the hearse her soul following dutifully behind I sang amazing grace and wanted to scream unfricking believable I wanted to throttle death with a pickax but death just keeps eating away at all I'd hope to retain he's winning you know you're on his list he's getting double orders lately and large groups are his delight I used to take more chances felt what I had was still forever but forever still is what death will introduce the absence of this life the scent of crocus wafting from purple passionate cups the frost in your nose hairs on a crackling January day the splash of salt water in a turquoise ocean floating on a raft to the oblivion of nothing better to do the crunch and sugary odor of multi-colored leaves flying haphazardly left and right in an autumn dash all that life holds precious and then some stolen in an instant and traded down for the unknown he dangles like a spider web over your face the feeling so damn creepy of course I do have faith but it will not save me from dying it simply promises that I only have to die just once such a deal!!!
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